But We Were Blind
by OhMyStarsShiz
Summary: Something Unexpected. Something Unplanned. Something Unwanted. But that doesn't mean that their fate has already been decided. Whoufflé: Teen Pregnancy AU
1. Introduction

**New Story! I can practically hear the groans of "Another AU?" :p**

**This is going to be a 10-chapter story in total (including this intro) based on the lives of Clara and John through a teenage pregnancy. The first chapter is really long, but I only did it in two nights so please excuse all and any random mistakes of grammar, spelling or sentencing in any way, because I might drop dead before I finish double-checking this.**

**There is swearing in it, so avoid if you don't like that, and smut (pretty damn awful in this chapter if you ask me), too. Sorry if this chapter is really crap, especially the smut at the end because I don't even know what planet I was on when I wrote that!**

**It would mean the world to me if you reviewed it too and told me what you think! Don't be shy to leave your opinions.**

**Thanks to Kosovahearland for beta-ing most of this and giving great feedback- really helped!**

**Thanks for reading everyone! -OhMyStarsShiz**

* * *

Everyone knows that, in a school, you only associate with certain people. As clichéd as it sounds, it's really true. People think it only applies to television shows, but anyone in high school knows that it's not.

Once you've made your friends in year seven, unless you move schools or win the lottery, you stick with the friends or type of people you hung around with then. Your fate is decided the moment you walk through those days on your first day, and there is nothing you can do about that.

That was something John Smith had learnt very quickly. He stuck out like a big chin on his first day. He was one of the tallest in his year and he was the top in every single class. And the teachers didn't hesitate to show who their favourite student was, determining the fate of bullying and merciless teasing John would receive.

John soon found his own friends though. They were all in his classes and all clever too. The first friend he'd made was Amy Pond. She was fierce and tough, never letting anyone get the better of her. Her and John had hit it off the moment they'd actually begun to talk. With talking to Amy came talking to Rory. Rory followed Amy around everywhere, but she didn't mind. He seemed a lot more timid at first, but his confidence grew with time. John had never expected him to be one of his closet friends by the time they were sixteen years old.

Despite the fact they were seen as the weird kids, they were happy with each other. They were close and that's all they really needed.

It wasn't much of a shock to John when Amy and Rory finally got together in year ten. It had been coming from the get go. Rory was completely starry-eyed for Amy and as much as she would have denied it before, she was head over heels for him.

It wasn't like John became the third wheel, but he often felt uncomfortable around them when they deserved some private time. They would have shouted at him if he'd ever said that to him because they wouldn't have wished him be alone for the world, but John thought that they deserved some time that was just them without their friend.

Which is why, in year eleven, John began to spend a bit of time alone. He spent most of that time studying for his GCSEs which, although some people in his year might never have known it, were actually quite important to him.

Year eleven was a tough year for John all around at first. He had been put in separate classes to Amy and Rory almost entirely. Rory was in his sciences, but Amy was in a different group because of timetabling. And neither of his friends had the same options as him, which left him alone for a lot of classes.

That didn't mean they didn't hang around at all breaks and lunches, but it caused John to feel lonely a lot of the time.

In the middle of November they had their first practical exam in Science. John wasn't nervous. It was far too easy to be nervous about. The whole class had done test runs and then they simply had to do the predictions and write it up afterwards. It wasn't going to be too hard and John knew that he would most likely get close to full marks for it. Science was his strong point, even if the test would be about biology rather than Physics, his favourite.

At the beginning of the lesson, everyone went straight into setting up their practicals with their friends. Rory went to get the equipment as John set it out on the desk, making sure everything was ready very quickly. Their teacher, Mr Simons, gave them a shout for five minutes to get the work ready before they absolutely had to start.

That was when John heard the small cough from behind him. It was barely loud enough for him to hear, but he still turned his head anyway to check who it was.

There before him stood Clara Oswald. She was probably the most popular girl in his year, and everyone knew it. She could make people do anything she wanted for her at the blink of an eye. Amy hated her for being so popular, although there was no denying that she was the prettiest girl in school by far. Guys practically melted at her feet. She wasn't what you would call typically pretty; she was someone you could just stare at all day and marvel at how she did it. Her eyes were brown and doe-like, almost matching the chocolaty colour of her hair. She had quite a funny nose, but no-one paid any attention to that. She was very short too, but she had made it clear just how much easier it was to kick a boy in his tender parts from several demonstrations over the years. Her smile was worth gold in John's eyes. It could literally light up a room. And every single guy in school wanted a piece of that.

Even though Clara was in John's sciences, they'd never spoken to each other once in their lives. He highly doubted she even knew his name. He was probably the biggest loser in the entire year, and she was the beauty queen. The one time he had mentioned her to Rory, he had laughed and said that you would have more chance landing on the moon than you would a shot with Clara Oswald.

From what John could tell, Clara seemed like a nice girl. She was never rude to anyone and always seemed to be smiling. That was unlike her two best friends, Nina and Kelsey, who everyone hated. They were nowhere near as pretty as Clara, but they were definitely popular too. It was probably from the amount of guys they'd shagged, John assumed.

He heard the cough once more and John was brought back to reality. Clara Oswald was standing right in front of him and waiting for him to reply.

"Yeah?" John finally managed to mumble, making sure it didn't come off too rude.

He watched as Clara looked down to the floor nervously. It was puzzling him on what she could possibly want. He had an awful feeling that it was so someone could pull a stupid prank on him.

"Could I work with you for this?" She piped up quietly.

John's eyes widened and she suddenly looked panicked. He noticed that she began to fiddle with her fingers and bite her lip. Usually John would have been extremely sceptical about an offer from someone like her. The only time anyone in Clara's league even spoke to him was so that they could use him for a better grade, or cheat off his work. But there was something in the way Clara acted that made John doubt that very notion almost immediately.

"It's just...I don't have any friends in this class, and I don't want to go with the worst person in the class and get a bad grade." Clara explained, looking unsure.

John knew that there had been next to no doubt in his mind about saying yes. As hard as he tried to not rush out his "Of course," it still came out a little over-eager. But it made Clara perk up at the words and a sigh of relief wash over her body. He hadn't realised just how tense she had been before.

"Oh my God, thank you!" She sighed, grinning at him. John could feel his insides melt and he tried his hardest to smile back.

Clara walked up to the work desk and tapped her fingers. "Are you with Rory too?" She asked, looking over to the boy who was walking back towards them with lots of equipment in his hands.

John shook himself out of yet another trance he dazed into. He hadn't even realised it happening this time. "Oh...um, yeah!" He managed to blurt out. Rory walked up to them, frowning at John at the sight of Clara next to him.

He put the equipment slowly down on the counter-top and John began to set it up speedily. He could see the teacher getting annoyed about time and he didn't want to be the reason they were delayed. The experiment wasn't going to take very long, but things could go wrong and they only had the hour to start again.

"Umm..." Rory hummed, eyebrows raising in the direction of Clara. Even though it was obvious who he was pointing towards, Clara made a great effort to pretend like she hadn't noticed.

"Clara will be working with us." John smiled to Rory, who raised his eyebrows even higher in more confusion.

"I'm sorry." Clara mumbled to Rory, looking down to the floor once more. "I hoped you wouldn't mind."

She bit her lip again and Rory could practically see John going all gooey-eyes over her. It made him slightly annoyed, but also laugh at the notion.

"No...no, not at all." Rory smiled, getting his stuff ready.

Clara turned away for a moment to put on her safety goggles and Rory thumped john in the chest.

"Ow!" John whisper-yelped, scowling at his friend. Rory shrugged his shoulders, feigning innocence.

"Keep your eyes on the work." He muttered, knowing that John had got the memo immediately. In that moment, Clara turned back around and they stood up straight to pretend like they hadn't been speaking about her. She gave them a puzzled stare, before helping them finish set up and get the work started.

John would never have admitted it before, but the work was actually done better with Clara there. He could see Rory getting annoyed each time Clara did something for him, but it was clear she knew was she was doing and could do it very well.

John had never known that Clara was dedicated to the work, but by the way she was concentrating, it was clear she was. there was no way Clara Oswald had asked to join him so that she could cheat. If anything, they were cheating off her.

Soon enough the hour was up, and their results were almost-perfect. Mr Simons walked past and hummed happily at their results, shaking John and Clara's shoulders. "Well done." He said cheerily, tapping Rory too as he walked off.

Clara looked happy with herself as Rory smiled to John. "Yes!" He said to himself, throwing his palm up in the air to meet John's in a high-five. Clara smiled at them as she watched the boys grinning at their work.

John then turned to Clara awkwardly, unsure of what to do. He raised his first in the air, eyebrows raising suggestively. Clara smiled as she raised her fist to touch his, lightly fist-pumping him.

If John's smile could have grown wider than it ever had before, it did in that moment. He was shrugged out of it when Rory raised his hand to Clara and she gave him a high-five too.

"Good work." John smiled, leaning against the desk as they removed their goggles.

"You too." She smiled back, leaning next to him. They both looked down to the floor awkwardly. Clara took in a deep breath and held it for a few seconds before turning to face him.

"Sorry for randomly joining you. I realise we've never spoken before but...you always answer things in class and it's clear you're smart and...I really need good grades to make sure I get in to the sixth form." Clara mumbled, fiddling with her fingers once more. John knew that this must be her nervous habit, along with biting her lip. Everyone had a tell-tale sign, even him, although he tried to hide it. But for Clara, a girl who was rarely nervous, John felt quite privileged to have already figured out what it was.

"Don't be sorry!" John assured, shrugging his shoulders. "You're really good at this, believe me. You're way better than Rory."

John and Clara both giggled when they heard the annoyed "Hey!" Coming from Rory behind them.

Clara shrugged her shoulders too and looked back to John. "Thanks, but I'm really not."

It always shocked John how someone like Clara thought they weren't clever. Clearly she was, or she wouldn't be in the same work set as him. And from what he had seen so far, it wasn't like she had to work too hard to get the work.

"Don't be silly, of course you are." John sighed, his eyes widening at how casual he had sounded. He still felt overly-awkward with Clara. But she simply laughed taking the compliment timidly. She covered her face for a small moment, pretending to rub her eyes, but John could see the faint blush that had spread over her cheeks. It almost made him want to laugh out loud himself. _He_ had made Clara Oswald blush.

"Thanks." She mumbled slowly. She picked at her fingers once more, looking to the clock. They still had three minutes before the bell went for lunch. It seemed the whole class had packed up a little too early.

"So...tell me something about yourself?" John said curiously, still rather timid at the notion of talking to her. He knew that he needed to stop that, but it was his instinct to shy away.

"There's not much to tell." Clara said, looking away. "Besides, everyone knows my story. Or so it seems..." The way Clara said that made John question what she had meant by it. She was clearly referring to her popularity, but with a tone of despise or exhaustion. She clearly didn't like it, which just confused John even further. "Anyway," She continued, "What about you? Why don't you tell _me _something?"

"Well..." John started, searching his brain for something that wouldn't bore Clara to death. "I like science I guess. And physics...a lot. I like to invent things."

He studied Clara's face for her to look at him like he was weird, but she simply looked content. "I like science too." Clara replied. "But I prefer Chemistry. As childish as it might sound, I like chemical reactions. It's the way an element can make itself something so amazing by adding something another thing to it, but it's still so beautiful and fascinating on it's own...it's almost _poetic_ in the way the facts are. _Romantically_ poetic. Don't you think?" She spoke dreamily, smiling at John.

His eyes widened in surprise at her beautiful response, unsure of what there was he could say.

"Sorry." Clara suddenly mumbled. "I know it must sound really weird..."

"No, it doesn't!" John interrupted, turning to face Clara and placing his hands on her shoulders. He sighed to himself and smiled gently at her. "It's beautiful actually, the way you look at life."

Clara looked curiously back at him, studying his features to see if he was lying or laughing at her. When she deciphered that he clearly wasn't, she allowed herself to tilt her head and actually look at him.

She had to look up quite high to look at him. He was almost a foot taller than her, but she still felt equal to him. His chin stuck way more than an average person's, but she found it strangely amusing. Clara decided that his cheekbones could kill from their sharpness. His hair was flowing and flopped around messily on his head, making his goofy grin look really sweet. Despite his slightly lanky frame and big chin, Clara would say that he was actually quite attractive.

She smiled at him once more. "How do you see life?" She asked suspiciously.

John swallowed once. He felt like he had to be honest with her after she he had been so honest with him. "Well..." He started, looking up at the clock. Thirty more seconds left. "I see life a lot like the Universe. There is a big bang that starts something great, which goes on for a long time, but eventually it just dies away and you're left with only the remnants of the good thing you once had. If that makes sense?"

Clara furrowed her brow at him. He wondered shortly if he may have crossed some sort of line. "You speak of life as if it's bad in the end." Clara figured, staring up at him in wonder.

John shrugged. "I guess that's just how I see things." He mumbled, unsure of what to say that wouldn't make her think he was some sort of psychopath.

"Maybe you just need someone to show you differently." Clara mused, her eyes glistening as if she had just solved all of his problems.

At that moment, the bell rang loud in their ears and Clara smiled welcomingly at John. She waited for him to begin to move out of the classroom before she went to walk behind him, hearing a grunt from Rory who had been left our of their entire conversation.

"I like talking to you John." Clara said sweetly as she walked next to him. "I don't know why I haven't before. I was going to a few times, but I thought you'd probably think I'm crazy...like you most likely do now."

They left the doorway, Clara leaning against the wall beside the classroom. John leaned down next to her, taking the hint from Clara that she still wanted to talk some more.

"Why would I think you're crazy?" John smiled. "If anything, you're the one who would laugh in my face." He chuckled to himself, no humour evident in his voice

It was clear within seconds that Clara didn't find it too funny, but more concerning. "Why would I do that?" She asked, not angrily, but more out of confusion at the very idea.

John shrugged nervously. "Well, look at you." He mumbled, knowing this conversation wasn't going the way he would have ever hoped it would.

"What do you mean?" Clara urged, her hand gripping his forearm comfortingly.

"Well...you're, you know, prettymuchperfect, and I'm...weird." John rushed, trying to avoid Clara's worried glare.

"You know..." Clara began, looking down to the floor. In truth, she hated that everyone assumed she would be so mean. She was fed up of it. Guys like John were kind and sweet, yet they had those kind of thoughts about her. No wonder they avoided her all of the time. It made her feel disheartened more than anything else. "I think you're much more perfect than me." She smiled at John who's non-existent eyebrows had raised to hairline. She giggled, whilst nodding to confirm what she'd said. "Without a lie, I think that you are pretty amazing. You're smart and funny and...honest. They're great qualities to have."

John smiled at her. "Really?" He half-whispered, bemused by this girl. If hadn't been enchanted by her before, he certainly was now. Her eyes had captivated his and even if he waned to, there was no way he could have turned away from her gaze.

"Yeah." She smiled. "And I think that..."

She barely had a moment to finish her sentence before she heard someone shouting her name loudly down the corridor. She knew the annoying voice anywhere and sighed.

"Piss off Kyle!" She shouted back, still facing John. She rolled her eyes in annoyance and smiled apologetically at John. "So sorry about this. Just give me a minute."

She turned away from John to walk over to the man behind her. John slowly started to back away, not wanting to be near him. Kyle Brenner. He probably would have liked to have called himself the "it" guy, but he was as about as clever as a weed. He knew how to crop up and annoy people, but now how to do much else.

Everyone feared him even so. He was tall, even in John's eyes, and he was strong. He was also known for getting anything he wanted, _when_ he wanted it. That could range anywhere from drugs to girls, and he never took no for an answer.

John could have predicted that Clara would be dating him though. He was the obvious choice. And as much as John would have loved to have denied it, he wasn't bad looking either. In fact, he was the kind of guy everyone swooned over, and he could imagine Clara would too, no matter what his intellectual level was.

John was used to sticking to the shadows, so it didn't take him more than ten seconds to slip away without being seen. After all, he was a nobody.

Clara wanted to scream out in frustration at Kyle. How many times did the annoying brat have to hear it before he understood the word NO.

"Kyle, go away please. I'm talking to someone." Clara moaned, maintaining her distance from him.

"Well, I'm more important." He said smugly, generally believing his own words.

"Highly doubt that." Clara mumbled, trying her hardest not to much him for his stupid cockiness.

Either Kyle was generally dumb, or he had just ignored her, but he carried on with his speech. "I was wondering if you wanted to come over to mine tonight for some...err...fun." He raised his eyebrows on the word fun, and it made Clara want to throw up.

In her moments hesitation, he took a step forward and pulled her body up against his. She immediately squirmed away, grimacing at his cocky smirk that he was still wearing. "Ew, please no. Get away from me. Now. Right. Now." She thumped his chest to get him to move. He eventually stood back and she made sure to take an extra step to ensure her distance from him was enough for a quick get away. She had no idea how anyone could find that guy attractive, despite his good looks.

"What's wrong babe?" He asked casually, raising his arms up as if they were fighting over something. Had he not got the message yet? "Just come back to mine tonight."

"No, because you're a gross pig!" Clara shouted back, making sure anyone around heard. The only way to make him shut up was to damage his dignity. "Don't come anywhere near me!"

He looked around at the people beginning to stare at tried to stand casually. "Babe, why the fuss?"

She was fuming now and hit him in the shoulder hard, making grab a hand to it and cry out in pain. "You're the one who won't get the message!" She shouted, standing back before walking away. She quickly turned her head back and shouted, "And I'm not your babe!"

She could practically taste his humiliation in the air as she heard the giggles from all the year nines that were watching.

She was smiling as she turned back to John, but he had disappeared. She looked all around for him, but he was still nowhere to be seen. She should have known he wouldn't have stuck around for someone like her.

* * *

"What's wrong Clara?" Nina asked, sounding annoyed as she nudged her friend. She was playing with her chicken sandwich _again_ and something was clearly on her mind.

Clara huffed her shoulders, picking at her food once more. "Did Kyle not want to go out with you?" Kelsey asked, biting into her own food.

Clara sat up, furrowing her brow in disgust. "How many times do I have to tell you guys that I don't want to go out with Kyle. That guy is gross."

She slumped back down, resting her cheeks in her palms on the table. Nina and Kelsey leaned in at the same time, smirking.

"Is it a boy though?" Nina asked suspiciously, waiting to hear the next gossip. Clara stayed focusing on the fly that was crawling up a wall nearby, not bothering to hear their stupid opinions.

"Oh my God, it is!" Kelsey squealed, jumping up with happiness. "Who is it?"

"Is little Clara finally finding someone she'll spread her legs for?" Nina laughed, hi-fiving Kelsey at her "joke."

"Oh, just fuck off you two." Clara groaned, sitting up to stare at them. "Seriously, everything is about sex with you two."

Nina raised her eyebrows, as if she had been offended. "Just because you want to stay an innocent little vir..."

"Just because I don't want herpes like the two of you, doesn't mean I'm fucking innocent, alright? Clara scowled, putting her head in her hands once more. Sometimes she wished her friends would just leave her alone. John had been on her mind for three straight days and she couldn't get her mind off him. It didn't help that he hadn't said a word to her during Chemistry, although they sit at opposite ends of the classroom.

Kelsey over-dramatically "ignored" the comment and carried on taunting Clara. "So...who is he?" She persisted, making Clara groan.

"Just someone in my science, okay?" She grumbled, shaking her head to rid the annoying voices that wouldn't leave her alone, in the form of her "friends."

"Oh." Nina mumbled disappointingly. "So...a _nerd_ then?" She asked, eyes widening as if it was horrific. Clara could practically hear it, although her head was in her hands.

"He's not a nerd!" Clara argued, sitting up slowly and facing them. "He's just...clever."

Nina and Kelsey rolled their eyes. "Nerd." They said at the same time, nodding their heads.

"You and your "Clever" people." Nina tutted, her tone as if she was finding everything hilarious. "And least find someone decent Clara."

Clara scowled even more as her friends continued to laugh in the background. Her mind allowed itself to wonder back to the thought of John's goofy smile and funny chin.

* * *

Clara didn't really think of or talk to John again. Not at least until after Christmas. That was when she was moved into John's English set too. Because of a mix up on the timetables at the beginning of the year, she had been put in second set English for overflow.

It was probably the most annoying thing for Clara as she loved English more than anything. It was the subject she worked the hardest in and to be demoted into a rubbish group like that made her furious. Luckily, the teacher had very quickly realised that she should never have been in that set and insisted they move someone else down. At first nothing had been done, for the same reason Clara suspected she had been moved in the first place. They saw Clara as the girl who "doesn't try" and thought it would be okay to move her. The joke kind of came back on them though when she got the highest mark overall in the whole year for all of her English Language assessments.

She knew a few people in that class from her science, and a few from her maths, but apart from that she felt stuck. That was, until, she saw John at the back of the room. He smiled welcomingly as the teacher looked around for somewhere she could sit.

Clara recognised Rory from where he was, and he was next to a girl with fiery red hair, who it was clear he either very much liked or was going out with.

She barely heard the teacher when she asked the class to move up and told her to sit next to John. "In case you get stuck" was the exact phrase the woman used. Clara immediately wanted to punch her in the face, but she was happy that she got to sit next to someone she liked.

They were on the back row too, which was a bonus for talking. Although, she guessed John would be the type to want to get some work done once in a while, which was much like her.

"Hey." She whispered as she sat down. The teacher had immediately resumed talking, but she could feel the eyes of the girl next to Rory on her.

"Hi." John quickly replied, smiling back comfortingly. She took that as a good sign as she unpacked her things.

The girl beside Rory leaned down the table to extend her hand to Clara. "Amy." She greeted, although it felt cold. "Heard a lot about you from John."

"Oh really?" Clara smiled, amused at how John had just turned a shade of purple.

"All good things." Amy smiled. Clara shook her hand happily and shrugged.

"Well, thanks." She smiled, poking John with her pen. "Wish I could say good things about you too, Mister." She giggled to herself and it was clear she was teasing.

John poked her back with his pen, making her chuckled even more. John was instantly captivated by the sound and spent the rest of the lesson laughing with her just to hear it again.

Towards the end of the lesson, Amy turned to Rory and whispered in his ear, "Am I seriously witnessing _Clara Oswald_ flirt with my best friend?"

Rory shrugged, not knowing what to say. All you had to do was look at the pair to know that they were clearly flirting with each other, although both Amy and Rory doubted John even realised he was doing it.

"She'll ruin him." Amy muttered, her hatred for the girl clearly showing.

"Maybe not." Rory murmured back, watching the two once more. They seemed far too naturally happy for anyone to playing it.

* * *

No-one really knew how close Clara was to Mr Simons. Neither of her friends knew that she often went to study in his classroom when she was avoiding them, and none of them knew that he was the teacher she went to with any troubles.

He had been the teacher that stopped her failing in school. In year nine, she had become the girl that didn't try at all, and he had made sure she got back on path. It wouldn't be a lie to say that he was by far her favourite teacher and he clearly favoured her above the rest. Well, Clara and John Smith too of course.

Whenever Nina and Kelsey got too annoying for Clara, she often went to study in Mr Simons room. It was in one of the upstairs buildings that no-one went to at breaks or lunches, so it was the perfect hiding place. There were also spots in the room that couldn't be seen through the doorway.

She often talked to him when he was at his desk or she simply sat in silence if he wasn't. It was her way of getting away from it all.

It was a Tuesday lunch, and she had decided to get her lunch early and eat in that classroom. She often disregarded the "no eating and drinking in science labs" rule, but then, so did her teacher.

He was sat at his desk, slowly eating his salad as Clara read a textbook. She was revising her Maths, which was her worst subject unfortunately. She was on track for an A, but she absolutely hated trigonometry. She just didn't understand why they had to use some stupid signs to get things they wouldn't even need in real life, using words that sounded like they were to do with kung-fu.

"What would you do if I moved around the seating?" Mr Simons asked, musing to Clara. She sat up straight from her desk and she shrugged.

"In my class?" She questioned, looking around.

"Yup." He nodded, watching her for an answer.

She shrugged again and looked back down at her textbook. "Depends who I was moved next to. I don't really know many people in there anyway." She mumbled, reading the examples of these triangles as best as she could.

"What if I moved you next to John Smith?" Mr Simons asked curiously. "As you both do so well?"

Clara's head snapped up with a smile. "Yeah. I know him. I sit next to him in English, he's really cool."

Clara furrowed her brow as Mr Simons started slowly laughing. "What?" She asked, not understanding where his laughter was from.

"I've just never seen Clara Oswald get excited over a boy before." He chuckled, winking jokingly.

"Hey!" Clara laughed, ripping out a page from her work book at scrunching it into a ball, before throwing it at his head. They both laughed a little longer at that, Clara smiling to herself. "He's just a cool friend. You know, they're kind of rare nowadays." She teased sarcastically.

Mr Simons shrugged his shoulders slowly. "Yeah, I guess they are."

John was the kind of friend Clara could go to when she needed help with general things. He was the friend that you would want to talk to when everyone else in the world was annoying, although she felt like a pig for ignoring him whenever Nina and Kelsey were around. She didn't ever blank him though. She always said hi, but she sometimes didn't talk to him properly. She knew that he understood why, but it didn't make it anymore acceptable.

She mostly got along with his friends, despite the sourness she often sensed from Amy in English. But she didn't mind that. She could be friends with who she wanted, if they wanted to be her friend too.

She had heard down the grapevine that people had said she was using John, but she tried to ignore it. They were petty rumours anyway, and they didn't really matter that much to her.

* * *

March 3rd.

Clara was sat twiddling her thumbs in English, reading up on her poetry for the exams that were coming up. She had done half of this work in year ten and now it was simply revision on notes they had made a year ago.

The class was quiet and quite boring, but it was essential they got this done. And as much as Clara wanted to deny it, she really needed to read this work over. Her last years notes hadn't been the best and she could dust up on them a bit.

At that moment, the door opened and everyone turned their heads. The receptionist was in the doorway scanning her eyes around the room.

"Clara Oswald?" She asked urgently, looking around for the girl. Clara raised her hand slowly, concerned as everyone turned to face her suddenly.

"Come now. Bring all of your things." The woman looked rushed and hurried. Clara looked to John, who was staring at her in confusion. She quickly grabbed her things and left the room, wondering what on Earth was going on.

John watched as she left, the woman grabbing her shoulders so that she would walk faster. The teacher quickly told the class to get back to work, but he kept staring at the door, hoping that Clara was okay.

He thought about it for the rest of the day, hoping to hear something from her. He checked his phone for a text, but there was nothing there. She would probably tell him tomorrow, or at least that was what he told himself.

Amy and Rory told him to stop being such a worrywart, but it was in his nature. No-one ever really gets dragged out of class so suddenly. Not unless it's an urgent situation.

To say that he didn't spend all weekend tossing and turning over it would be lying. He spent half of it downstairs in the kitchen, which annoyed his brother greatly. David was currently in year thirteen, and like every eighteen year old, hated their kid brothers. John and David weren't on the best of terms in life either. It hadn't helped that he was constantly teasing John for being a loser when he had been the popular guy.

John came to school on the Monday, looking for Clara everywhere. When he figured she was nowhere to be seen, he realised that he would just have to be patient and hope she was okay.

Clara looked down as she walked through the hallways, ignoring everyone. She didn't care what they had to say and she didn't care what they thought. She had not a single care in the world. Because they all pretended that the world was amazing, when it wasn't. It was fucking useless and no-one could do anything about that.

She hated how everyone thought their lives were perfect, when in fact, they weren't. Anyone's life can be turned upside down in an instant. Clara was the perfect example of that.

She sulked her way through the whole of her first two periods, trying to find a way to be emotionless, because emotion meant more crying, which she really couldn't stand.

And worst of all, she had English next, which meant everyone asking her why she had left in the middle of class yesterday. She wished everyone would just disappear and leave her alone forever.

She sat down in English early so she could avoid the stares of anyone. She managed it rather successfully. That was, until, John sat down.

He immediately turned to her with a puzzled look. Why did he have to be so god damn caring all of the time?

"Clara, are you okay?" He asked gently, placing his hand over hers on the table. He was testing his grounds, and instantly knew where he stood from the way she retracted her hand so quickly.

"M'fine." She mumbled, looking down to the book in front of her. She knew that her eyes had dark bags underneath and she knew that they rimmed red around the edge from tears. She couldn't avoid that, but she could avoid all the stares.

John leaned back cautiously, not wanting to upset her. It was clear she wanted to be left alone, and he tried his best to respect that wish. She looked broken, from what John could see. she hid her face well and the teacher did nothing to stop her. It was clear that the teacher knew what was going on, and as much as Clara was grateful for not being picked on the whole time, she didn't appreciate the sympathy stares that were sent in her direction. They just made her feel stupid and insecure.

The moment the class was over, Clara ran out as quickly as she could. She didn't need a stupid conversation with anyone, least of all John. He had a habit of making her be honest and right now, all honesty would just make her cry.

She ran straight to the classroom which she liked to hide out in, grateful for it being empty from the class before.

No-one was in there and she was finally able to curl up in a ball in the corner of the room and cry. Her tears were silent, but her shoulder shook with a force that could cause earthquakes. Her sorrow was deep and heartbreaking to anyone who could see.

She flinched when she heard the door to the lab in the next room open, but she knew the sound of those footsteps from anywhere. Of course he knew. All the teachers knew.

Mr Simons would have checked up on her when she wasn't in his lesson the day before, and John probably made some sort of inquiry about it. She rubbed her eyes quickly as she heard him approaching and tried her best to look normal.

It was a failed attempt, she knew, but she felt less pitiful once she had done it. "Sorry sir." She choked, barely able to form words. He crouched down beside her on the floor and patted her shoulder. "I'm a mess." She whispered trying to find something that she could hold onto inside her heart, but nothing was there.

"No you're not." He murmured, putting his arm around her shoulder and letting her cry once more. He knew that he really shouldn't hold her, but someone had to do it and there was no way he was leaving this student to cry alone.

After a couple of minutes, Mr Simons stood up slowly. He nodded at her to check she was alright and she nodded back, understanding that he probably had work to do. She hated being a burden to people and she had spent way too much time using her teacher as a pillow to cry on.

He slowly walked to his door, leaving it as quietly as he could. It was a short walk to the stairs which lead to where a certain group of people liked to hang out. He walked down them slowly, looking out for the one person he really needed in this moment.

He walked into the corridor, his eyes searching for any possible sign that the student he needed would be there.

After about two minutes of searching he was about to give up, when the person he was looking for walked right past him. He grabbed John's blazer and dragged him backwards, making him fall over slightly. His friends stopped to see what was going on, but John looked the most confused.

"John, I need you to look over some work." Mr Simons said quickly, nodding to him. The boy looked more confused than ever, but slowly nodded. No-one knew that Mr Simons was close to Clara and John had never really spoken to him outside of class before. He knew that none of his work needed looking over, but he agreed anyway.

Mr Simons nodded to Amy and Rory, who walked off unsurely. Once they had left, he took John upstairs, not sure how to explain.

Once they were outside his door, he pulled John aside to speak in hushed tones. "Sorry about this, but you're the only person I can think of." He mumbled to John.

John nodded slowly, "Yeah?" He asked, finding the secret talking weird for a teacher.

"Clara's Mum was killed yesterday...In a car crash." Mr Simons said slowly, watching John's face drop. "She has been crying in my room and someone needs to be therefore her, but she's too stubborn to admit that she is sad."

John looked to the classroom door and nodded his understanding of the favour Sir was asking. He smiled gratefully back and John walked to the door. He opened it slowly, not wanting to make too much noise. He heard a gasped sob stop midway as he entered the room.

It took him a few moments in the dark, but he quickly found Clara huddled in the back corner. She stared at him venomously, but also with a shred of thankfulness.

He took his time walking towards her, not wanting her to feel like he was chasing her in anyway. When he got within a step of her, he saw her tense body drop in a sob and he quickly fell to his knees to catch her.

She leaned her head into his shoulder and clung to his shirt, crying onto him. He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back soothingly. He felt like he should tell her it would all be okay, but how could he when he knew it wouldn't be?

He'd never met Clara's Mum, but she'd often spoken of her and it was clear they were close. More than close in fact. They were like sisters or best friends.

Time passed by, but as Clara still cried John wasn't going anywhere. Even when the bell went, they stayed in the classroom. Sir came in to tell them he had excused them from register and the classroom was free for the rest of the day, but Clara barely noticed as she continued to cry.

By the time it came to the final hour of school, Clara had ran her eyes dry of tears. Her throat was croaky and dry from the sobs and she felt physically exhausted. John had a huge wet patch on his shirt from her tears, but he didn't care. He didn't even complain when she moved to his other side for a comfier place to rest her head.

He knew that she wasn't sleeping, but they sat in silence for most of the hour and he held her close.

She may have never known it before, but he was exactly what she needed. She didn't know how he knew exactly what to do and how to respond, but it was clear he understood in a way that others wouldn't.

"I'm sorry." She finally whispered. "For making you sit here with me."

John shook his head slowly. He placed a soft kiss to her head, but they both disregarded the action as a symbol of comfort. "Never be sorry. You need a friend, and that's what I am."

John found it funny to say that he was her friend, but now that he had thought about it, he cared for her more than anything. Like a friend.

"Thank you." She whispered after a lingering silence. "For everything."

John stayed still as Clara finally turned to face him. She knew her eyes would be drained and she probably looked a mess, but she didn't care. He looked down to her and smiled. It was like he was saying "I know that you're messed up right now and I know that you're damaged, but I don't care. I still like you."

Clara decided that John's smiles could tell stories. They could make him say things without actually saying it.

She slowly pulled her body up so that her face was next to his. Then, slowly, she leaned in and pressed her lips softly to his. His eyes widened in shock, knowing that she was doing this because of her emotional state.

Despite his mind saying he should push her away, he allowed his lips to gently brush hers once before she pulled back. She stared at him blankly, trying to figure out what was going on in her head.

"Clara." He mumbled, trying to figure things out in his head himself.

Before he could open his mouth to speak again, Clara had attacked his mouth once more and this time it was much fiercer. But John knew that the fierceness came from her anger at her situation rather than passion, and he guessed that she would regret the kisses later.

He gently pushed at her collar bone until she pulled away. She looked at him with her big eyes and all John wanted to do was hold her and kiss her once more if it would take away her pain. But he knew that he shouldn't, and he didn't want to hurt Clara any more than she already was.

She looked down to her knees, realising dawning on her face as to why John pushed her away. She opened her mouth and closed it twice, unsure of what she could say to him.

"I don't know what came over me." She whispered to herself, looking in horror to her knees. John stared at her awkwardly, unsure of what to do.

"Great." She said in annoyance out loud, her volume rising by a significant amount. "I'm so fucking stupid. The only real friend I have in the entire fucking world and I go and fuck it all up." She stood up quickly, shocking John at her sudden outburst.

"And now you probably think I'm a fucking maniac with issues and I'm so fucked up." She shouted. John stood up after her and took a step towards her. She took a step back, avoiding him as if she was scared.

"Please." She begged. "Please, just go away and save yourself from this stupid mess."

Her tears had started up once more and she was crying to herself. John wasn't sure what to do, but he knew that she still needed him there despite her protests.

He took a quick step to her so that she couldn't get away and wrapped his arms tight around her. At first she tried to fight him off, which made John feel awful, but eventually she sunk back into his arms and allowed herself to cry.

John leaned back against the wall and comforted her some more, hoping to help her in some way.

As he held her, she began to cling to him as tight as she could, making it impossible for him to leave.

"I need you." She whispered shamefully, holding him tighter than ever. "I need you to help me." She sounded like she was guilty of a crime, but John simply held her even tighter.

"I want to help you." He replied, kissing her head once again. He didn't even know what this meant for them anymore, but he knew that right now he was there for her and that was that.

As the school bell went for the last lesson, John looked down to Clara for answers as what to do. He knew that she wouldn't want to go out looking like a state, but she couldn't exactly stay in school all day. Besides, it was only a Monday and she still had the rest of the week before she got any rest.

They stayed in silence until Mr Simons came back into the room twenty minutes later. Upon seeing the couple, he offered them both a lift home and they both accepted gratefully.

John spent the next few hours at home thinking of how Clara was holding up. Her Dad was probably not much better and he doubted they would be comforting each other too well in their states. From what he had heard, John guessed that Clara had been much more closer to her Mum than she had been to her Dad and that would make a serious impact on the relationship now.

* * *

It didn't shock John one bit when Clara texted him at five in the morning, asking him to skip school with her tomorrow.

She sent him her address so he could come to hers, and instead of getting the bus to school, he hid around a corner until it had gone and then walked in the opposite direction to Clara's house. He was slightly thankful that she only lived half a mile away, as no buses would take him until he ditched the uniform and if his Mum saw him before then, he would be in huge trouble.

As awful as it sounded, he wasn't too shocked to find that Clara lived in a much larger house than he did and on a much nicer estate.

It was simply the way she reacted around people and the way she had spoken of her family. It sounded like his, but he guessed from a better background.

He walked up to the wooden door and tapped the knocker three times. He didn't feel quite comfortable outside, in case anyone on the street was eyeing the uniform he needed to change out of. He had brought spare clothes, but hadn't yet had a chance to change.

It took Clara less than ten seconds to answer the door and she seemed to look a lot happier once she saw him there. She stepped aside, allowing him entrance, as she allowed him into her house.

She had quite a big entrance hall and John looked around in wonder, but didn't dwell on it too much. He was here to comfort Clara. Simply from the way she looked, John guessed that she had told her Dad she was ill and he probably hadn't even questioned it in his state either.

She was still wearing her white onesie and her hair was flowing loose on her shoulders. "Sorry about this." Clara mumbled, smiling at him for his favour.

"It's my pleasure." John replied sweetly, holding out his arms for her to fall into a hug. His school bag, which was actually filled with spare clothes, hung off his shoulder painfully, but he didn't care. Clara rested her head in his chest for a short while before standing up straight once again and nodding towards her stairs.

She led the way as she took the stairs by two. They went to the second room along the corridor and Clara ran straight onto her bed, sitting down cross-legged, patting the space beside her.

John shut her bedroom door behind him, sitting next to her slowly. He smiled at her and she smiled back, the awkward tension in the air rising.

She looked happier than the day before, but that didn't mean she was actually happier. It was clear she had cried some more all night and if not that morning already. But having John there seemed to make her happy.

John shrugged in his itchy blazer and Clara stroked the shoulder of it gently. "Do you have any spare clothes?" She asked gently, looking around.

"Yeah." He mumbled, pointing his head towards his rucksack. Clara smiled at him shortly.

"Um, I'll just leave the room a minute if you want to change...?" She suggested, standing up to give him some privacy.

"You don't have to if you..." John protested, but she had already shut the door. He felt awkward changing in her room, but it gave him a moment to look around. She had a double bed in the centre of the room that kept everything looking neat. Around, she had a wardrobe and some drawers, also a desk with a chair next to it and some other stuff around.

At first sight the room looked very tidy, but John could tell from his small peep under the bed that she had thrown everything randomly into drawers before he arrived.

He quickly changed into his jeans, shirt and hoodie. He had do admit that he felt a bit gangster-like in them, but they were comfortable to wear.

Clara knocked once to check it was okay to enter, waiting patiently outside. John walked to open the door and she smiled upon seeing his appearance.

They both went to sit back on the bed together, Clara leaned against the headboard. John took it that he should do the same and rested beside her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He mumbled, looking to her slowly.

She shook her head slowly at first, which John accepted. But then she opened her mouth, taking a breath that showed she had changed her mind.

"She didn't even know it was coming." Clara whispered, looking broken and torn up. "She was driving to work and someone's car slipped in the rain or something."

She looked down to her feet, tears pooling up in her eyes. "They said it was an accident, but the other driver was fine."

John put his arm around her and she instantly curled up into his side.

"When I got to the hospital, she was already brain dead they said." She whimpered, her fingers digging into John's skin instinctively. She paused a long while before speaking again, but this time with more hate and disgust in her voice. "I wish they hadn't made me see her. She didn't look right." Clara's tears fell freely now. "Her face was all smashed in and she had a...had blood everywhere. She looked do mangled and destroyed and I...I..."

She couldn't finish her sentence as she clung onto John and wrapped her arms around his neck. She felt like such a burden, but there was something in the way that he held her that allowed her to know she wasn't being one.

"How can you live without a Mum?" Clara whispered, looking to John for advice. She knew he had something to say but was biting his tongue.

As the silence dragged on, he finally opened his mouth. "I know it's different, but my Mum died when I was three."

Clara stilled for a moment before leaning her head further towards John's. "What?" She gasped, confused as to why she had never known this before.

"Yeah." He whispered, not knowing if this would even help. "My Dad too. They were both in the police force and...well, let's just say it was a drug bust gone bad."

Clara looked into John's eyes and she suddenly realised why he could be so cold when he was being serious. They looked like the eyes of someone who had seen way too much.

"I'm so sorry." Clara whispered, reaching out to his hand to hold it.

John carried on, needing to get across the point he wanted to make. "My brother and I went into social care. And then, a few months later, this woman decided she wanted to adopt us. That's rare for any kids, but for ones our age...it was a miracle. But David hated it, said we were betraying Mum and Dad. He made it really difficult for Dinah. That's our new Mum by the way. And that's why he hates me, even after all this time. Apparently, I'm the favourite child."

He looked to Clara, who had an unreadable expression on her face. Probably one of confusion.

"But, what I wanted to say is, not that you'll find a new Mum, but something good will happen to you, no matter what. Things will get better. In that care home, I thought I'd hit the bottom and I was only three. But it got better for me, and it will for you."

John stared at Clara for a moment. She simply squeezed his hand and it was enough comfort for him. It was the simply knowledge that they were there for each other no matter what.

They spent the next hour simply talking about things, mostly Clara's Mum. They spoke of all the funny things that she remembered and the stories she told. It was good to hear Clara laugh and smiled for the first time since her Mum had died, and Clara had to admit that she was feeling so much better.

John made her better, there was no fooling anyone about that.

In the late morning, Clara was curled up with her head in the Doctor's lap. She hadn't slept the night before from nightmares of what her Mum's dead body looked like, and she was finding it easier to rest with John around.

He was thinking over some things briefly when Clara suddenly spoke out of the silence. "You know I kissed you yesterday?"

John froze and his heart started bead faster, which didn't miss the attention of Clara, before his body stilled. "Um, yeah?" He mumbled slowly, not liking the sound of this conversation. He could tell that it was going to be weird, no matter what.

She looked down to her mattress before slowly sitting up and facing John, their eyes level. "It's just..." She began, unable to form the right words. She knew that it was a haste thing to be saying, but she had to get it off her chest. "I didn't kiss you because I was upset."

John's brow furrowed and she shut her eyes in realisation that she would need to clarify. "I mean...I mean, I did, but that wasn't the first time I'd thought about it. I'd actually thought about it...quite a lot." Clara turned her face away, brushing crimson red.

John's mouth dropped open slightly and he searched his brain for an answer of what to say. "Me too." He finally replied, making Clara's eyes widen too.

He looked over to her, realising just how inappropriate this talk was when he was here to comfort her for the loss of her Mother. He would feel like a shit if he took advantage of her in this situation. Especially with her emotions.

Clara leaned in closer to John, sliding her body further onto his lap but keeping a good distance between them. "You know, that was my first ever kiss?" She bit her lip slowly and John looked at her in shock. "Apart from a few boys in, what, year two?"

She giggled after that and then looked back to John seriously, who still looked like he had gone into shock.

"But...Aren't you dating Kyle?" John mumbled, trying to get his words out right. "And last year I heard you were with Bradley Knights."

He looked down to his feet guiltily as Clara's eyes widened in horror. "That Bradley Knights rumour was insane." She stated. "I'd never actually talked to him until the rumour came out and I had to apologise for it. And Kyle...don't even go there. He is a disgusting pig and I'd rather die than let him kiss me, or touch me in anyway...which he has tried...multiple times."

"Oh." John said quickly, looking at her apologetically. "Sorry, I...actually, yeah Kyle is a real slime ball isn't he?"

Clara nodded, pulling a face that showed her opinion. They both laughed softly at it, their faces slowly inching towards each other's.

John knew what was going to happen if he didn't move away, but he suddenly didn't want to. Any brain signals that were talking sense were lost entirely.

Clara shifted in his lap to get closer to him, and John knew that he was lost from that moment on. She closed her eyes slowly as her lips met his, quickly grasping his bottom lip in-between hers. the both inhaled at the first contact, their breaths shaky and unsure.

The second touch of their lips was with much more confidence. Clara placed her arms around John's neck and deepened the kiss, allowing some passion to pour in.

They were both very aware of all the places their bodies were touching, one disadvantage of being hormonal teenagers, and John knew that they would have to get this under control very quickly.

Clara poked John's lips with her tongue and he quickly granted her access, allowing the tongues to play and fight for dominance. John could hear the quick breaths Clara was taking in-between the heated kiss and it was driving him crazy. One of his arms was now wrapped around her waist, whilst his other hand was tangled up in her hair, stroking through the soft locks, gripping and gently tugging on them.

When his nails grazed the back of her neck, it made her moan lightly and John could feel it send shivers all down his body.

The situation hit him when he realised he had a beautiful girl half-on-top of him and he was kissing her. Actually kissing her.

She slowly began to move her body down, and soon enough she was lying on top of him on her bed, their lips still attacking each others.

After what seemed like forever, Clara slowly pulled back, a mischievous twinkle in her eye still remaining but looking guilty.

"Sorry about that." She mumbled, looking down at him slowly.

"Never feel the need to apologise to me." John reassured, touching his lips to hers lightly once more. He had no idea when he had suddenly grown so confident. "Never."

Clara smiled at him, giving him one last kiss before moving her body to rest her head on his chest, his arms looped around her waist to hold her firmly on top of him.

Just as Clara felt the silence become peaceful, John softly said, "By the way, I've never kissed anyone before either."

The small admittance gave them both a sense of relief and a small bit of happiness.

She quickly found her eyes drooping now she was in his arms and he managed to fall asleep too, finding some peace with each other around.

* * *

Dave Oswald was a sophisticated man. At least, that is what anyone he knew would say about him, and it was the truth. But he also had a huge heart. To say his relationship with his daughter was a strong one would be lying though. They had never been especially close. It had started when she became a teenager. He guessed that she just needed her Mum there for all her girly problems, but it put a slight damper of the relationship they used to have.

He still loved Clara more than anything, and would give up the world for her, but he doubted she really knew that. He knew that right now, more than ever, they needed each other, but Clara had barely come out of her room in the days that followed her Mum's death.

He hadn't even questioned it when she claimed she was ill on the Tuesday morning. He knew that it was caused from grief, but she looked like she was in a state and he highly doubted that it would actually be suitable for her to go to school. He had gone to work, as he always did, much to the distaste of Clara. She had pointed out how horrible it was to act like nothing was wrong, but it was the only way Dave knew how to cope. Otherwise he would end up spending his time thinking about Ellie, and then he would fall into a pit of sorrow from which he might never escape.

Dave was allowing his daughter to grieve however she wanted to, including giving her space, but that didn't mean he wasn't overly-concerned about her. In fact, she was all he was thinking about at the time. How could she cope without the one person she had in the world who was always there for her?

The moment he got home from work that day, he decided he needed to go and have a talk with her. A decent heart-to-heart that they both needed.

He climbed the stairs slowly, not hearing any noise from here room. But then, she had been virtually silent most of the time anyway.

When he reached her door, he hesitated before knocking. He didn't want her to get angry with him or start a fight. But his instincts very quickly got the better of him, and he knocked on her gently, calling out her name.

When he received no reply that told him to go away, he slowly opened the door. The sight he found on the inside was far from what he had expected and he was stuck in-between running away screaming or shouting at Clara.

His daughter was lying on top of a random boy, who was in her bed. Better than that, she was asleep on top of him.

Dave felt his face burn up in anger and he gave a loud cough, which Clara stirred at.

She gently rubbed her eyes as she heard a noise once again. Clara sat up, moving off John slowly to turn around and face whoever it was. Her mind had been slightly side-tracked away from her brain in that moment, and it didn't occur to her until it was too late on who exactly the person behind her would be.

Her eyes widened at the sight of her father, who looked angrier than she had ever seen him before. But most of all, he looked confused and hurt. She had no idea why he had decided to come into her bedroom. He never came into her room, not for anything.

"Oh my God Dad, get out!" Clara shouted, suddenly feeling wide awake. She was extremely aware of John's body moving beside her, waking up from the sudden scream. She was also very aware of her father's eyes which were glued on John.

Clara felt herself getting angrier that her Dad had chosen to burst in on her private life when he never had felt the need to before. When he didn't move, she stood up off the side of the bed and pointed to the door. "Now!" She screamed one more time.

John fully woke at that and rubbed his eyes as he realised what was happening. He also noted the position him and Clara had fallen asleep in and knew that this wasn't going to be good for them. Considering he had never even met Clara's father before, he knew that this was going to be one hell of a conversation.

He jumped out of the bed at a mega speed and shot a panicked look at Clara, who looked more angry than he'd ever seen her before. It seemed that she had a very short temper when it came to her father, although John really couldn't blame her in this one situation. But he definitely felt sorry for Dave.

Clara stormed out of the room, following her father's quick exit, and eyed him as he made his way down the stairs. They both remained in a deathly silence until they reached the living room. It was a completely different story however the moment they closed the door.

"What the hell Clara?" Dave shouted, stepping forward into face. She was entirely unphased by his shouting though and she had a few things that she wanted to say to him.

"Don't _ever_ come into my room uninvited again. Ever." Clara spat, taking a step towards him. "There is a thing called privacy which you are meant to acknowledge."

Dave shook his head in anger, trying to make it clear that he was the parent and had the right to shout. "Not when I find you in bed with a random boy!"

"I wasn't _in bed_ with a random boy!" Clara shouted back, watching her father as he seemed to grow angrier and angrier.

"Well then, what _were_ you doing exactly?" Dave spat, seeing how Clara's face twisted as her breathing sped up. He could see very clearly that this argument was about to turn explosive if neither of them stopped it, but they had barely talked since Friday and all of the anger and hurt was finally hitting back on them.

"He was here to comfort me." Clara shouted. "We just fell asleep as he was trying to help me out. Because, you know, he actually cares about me, unlike one person I know."

"What are you implying young lady?" Dave shouted, his face turning red.

"I'm not a young lady. And you know _exactly _who I am talking about here." She waited a few moments before walking into his face. "You." She growled, beginning to pace around him in a circle. "You...you, you, you...you, you...you, _you._" She was teasing him, making him even more mad than before.

This wasn't a fight between father and daughter, this was a fight between two people who had lost almost everything and were very close to losing the only real thing they had left.

"I do care about you." Dave argued, hating what his daughter was saying about him.

"Then prove it then!" She shrieked back, hearing the echo of the sudden noise hit the walls around them. The silence that hung was deadly, and it made Dave's words slice through Clara's heart even worse than they should have.

"Are you doing this to spite me?" He grumbled, staring her in the eye. The look of shock that suddenly hit her face showed that she clearly had been affected my his words, but he had too much anger to stop there like his sane mind would have known to do. In fact, they would have stopped long before this point.

"Are you doing this to make your Mum angry? Because she really would have loved to see you sleeping around." Clara flinched at the mention of her Mother. They hadn't even so much as said her name in the time since she had died. "What do you think you would have thought, huh?" He asked Clara, watching as she tried to fight down the angry tears that made her throat thick and sore.

He then looked up to the roof and aimed his words skywards. "Ellie, what do you think?" He shouted spitefully, Clara's body shaking at the sight he was making. "Are you ashamed of your daughter? I bet you would have loved to have seen her fuck every guy on the planet, wouldn't you? Don't you love the disgrace she has become? How selfish is she being about this entire thing? Don't you think she is selfish and childish? Don't you..."

If Dave had maybe seen the shakes from his daughter's body sooner, he might have stopped. But he didn't, and the words cut Clara into a million pieces to be scattered around the room like confetti. He only stopped when he heard the heavy gasp and he realised that she was sobbing into her hands.

His mouth opened agape in horror at the sight of Clara falling apart and he took two small steps towards her. "Don't come near me!" She shrieked at the sound of his footsteps, making him freeze where he stood.

She allowed herself to cry of the current tear, unable to ward them away. She could feel her father's eyes on her, disgraced at himself and at her, but she felt no sympathy towards him. She may have shouted, but he was the one who had taken it way too far.

"The boy upstairs is John Smith." She finally spoke, slowly pulling her face out of her hands to look at Dave. "Do you remember me mentioning him?"

Dave's face was washed over in guilt as he recalled Clara going on about him and how he was the persons he studied most with. He was also the person she called her closest friend and the smartest boy in her year.

"I asked him to come over." She mumbled, looking at Dave with some form of hate, which he couldn't quite accept. "Because...he is the only person in the world who knows how to make me feel even the tiniest bit better."

Dave took a deep breath as another tear spilt down Clara's cheek. He didn't even want to think about how many would fall as a consequence of this argument.

"So, I'm sorry if that's _selfish _and _childish._ I'm sorry if simply _needing comfort_ is insulting and disgraceful. I'm sorry if I'm not the perfect fucking daughter who does everything she is told, but you know what? I didn't realise I needed to be."

If anything now, Clara's words had cut Dave up and he felt awful as she slowly turned to leave the room.

"Clara!" Dave called out, walking towards her as she ran away from him. She took no time in running through the hallway and up the stairs. "Clara, I'm sorry! I didn't realise!"

He knew that his words were useless and that she just needed some time to cool off. that would be best for everyone, he thought.

John snapped his head up as he heard the door open. In a moment, Clara had flung herself into his arms and was sobbing into his chest. Although she wished he hadn't, she knew that he heard the entire argument. He gently stroked her hair, holding her tight to try and soothe some of the tears that fell.

He felt awkward in the house of a man who hated him in that moment, but he couldn't leave because Clara needed him now and he wasn't abut to run out on her.

He carefully manoeuvred them both back to the bed and he sat Clara down gently as he wiped away some of her tears for her. Her sobs were heavy and full of sorrow, and there was a moment where he generally wasn't sure if anything would ever be able to take away the pain she was feeling in that moment.

They both decided that it would be best for Clara to leave the house for some time. No doubt by now, Dinah knew that John had skipped school and would have several harsh words to say about it, but his house still seemed like the best place to go.

Clara packed some overnight things, her school things too in case Dinah made them go, ad they slowly crept down the stairs. Not to Clara's surprise, Dave had left the house. She had no idea where he had gone, and she didn't really care too much, but at least he wasn't there to start another argument up.

They slowly walked together, Clara clinging onto John's arm along the walkway. she knew that he lived in a slightly rougher area than she did, but she honestly didn't mind. She could tell that John was nervous about taking her home, in case it gave a bad impression, but she was more grateful than ever for his hospitability.

After what felt like hours, they finally reached John's house. He slowly opened the door and let Clara in, counting the seven seconds it took before Dinah was running to the door in a mood.

"And pray, tell me, where the hell have you been?" She asked, looking shocked at the boy who looked guiltily down to his feet. "I thought you'd been killed or something!"

"I..." John began, trying his hardest to explain, but he was beaten to the chase my his Mum.

"You never miss school! So to be told that you just hadn't turned up this morning scared the life out of me! I was going to call the police if you weren't back within the hour!" Dinah looked quite relieved that her son was home, but he knew the anger for skipping school would come within the next few seconds.

He counted the time as her face changed from worried to mad. Dinah was a lovely woman. She had bright blue eyes, and quite dark hair. She truly did care about her sons very much, but she was also very strict with them. She wanted to make sure they had a good chance at everything in life, which meant that she was very strict when it came to school and work.

"Why did you skip on school?" Dinah raised her voice slightly, but it was in the tone that made you feel more guilty than anything else. "What on this Earth possessed you to do such a..."

Clara had been hiding behind John in the doorway as best she could, but she dropped her case when it slipped out of her fingers and she made a small shriek of surprise. She could tell that she had interrupted the current shouting, and she felt really awkward.

They were still stood in the doorway, the door slightly ajar. But as Clara stood away from it, it closed with a light bang. She could see Dinah staring at her and she bit her lip in fear of what she might say. Clara knew that she looked as if she was in a state, and her tears from earlier had run her mascara around. She had tried her hardest to remove the marks in a hurry, but her eyes were still stained black.

"My room is second on the left." John suddenly piped up, turning to stare at Clara. He smiled softly and nodded towards the stairway on her right. "See you up there in five?"

Clara nodded slowly, not feeling quite comfortable in the atmosphere, but she did as she was told, knowing of Dinah's stare on her as she ran up the stairs quickly.

John turned back to Dinah, an apologetic smile on his face. He waited until Clara was out of earshot before carrying on. "Let me just explain very quickly." He raised his finger in the air as he took a few steps towards Dinah so they could talk. She raised her eyebrows expectantly.

"I bet you will." She replied, very confused by the situation but knowing that John would have some sort of reasonable explanation.

"That's my friend...Clara." John mumbled. He saw the look of recognition on Dinah's face and she continued to still look slightly confused.

"The one Amy mentioned?" Dinah asked, knowing her answer from the look on John's face. He nodded slowly and she opened her eyes wide again, curious to know what on Earth could be going on. She knew her son and she knew him well, so she didn't suspect they had been up to anything in the day. But John Smith definitely was not the kind of boy to bring girls home without notice of some kind. That being said, he never brought girls over at all, unless it was Amy, who in his own words, "didn't count."

"Basically...Her Mum died on Friday. I was at her house today because she needed a friend and she asked me to go over. But she had a major blow up with her Dad just now and I was kind of wondering if..." He motioned his hands around in a hopeful kind of way, studying Dinah's face for the answer he needed.

"If she could stay?" Dinah finished and John dumbly nodded his head, looking up to the stairs with a look of concern planted on his face. "Well..." Dinah began, feeling unsure about it. She had never met this girl before, but she wasn't a woman who sent people out on the street. "Fine." She finally decided, feeling happier once she saw the look of elation John was radiating.

"Thank you so much!" He chanted, giving her a tight hug. She smiled back and patted his shoulder.

"No problem. Just be good to her." Dinah warned. She laughed as he ran to the stairs to go up and greet his friend. "And dinner is in one hour!"

John opened his bedroom door to find his brother standing in the doorway, talking to a very uncomfortable looking Clara.

He coughed angrily, making his brother jump, who then chuckled mischievously.

"How cool is it that Clara's Dad and I have the same name?" David said to John, raising his eyebrows.

John rolled his eyes at his brother's behaviour. It honestly wasn't a shock that he was already flirting with Clara. She was stunning after all, even when she had been crying for several days. And David knew her from around school and from John's non-stop ramblings, so he knew that his brother was going to try and wind him up however he could.

"It's a popular name." John grumbled, shooting David a death glare. "Now get out of my room."

David raised his hands in defence. "Woah, sorry if I wanted to talk to the hot chick that is sleeping in my asexual brother's room!"

John took no hesitation in thumping David in the chest, making him pull a pouty face. "I'm not asexual, and she is my friend. Now get out." John demanded, opening the door wide and trying his hardest to push David out. His brother was unfortunately taller than him, and a bit better looking, which he definitely used to his advantage pretty much all of the time.

"Touchy." David mumbled as he left the room. "See you Clara." He winked towards her before leaving, making John sigh against the door when he finally got it shut.

"Sorry about that." He mumbled, walking to sit on the bed next to Clara. "He's an arse sometimes."

"Yeah." Clara agreed, smiling to herself cheekily. It made John happier that Clara was actually smiling and her mind was off all of the disasters in her life. He was happy that he could do that to her. "He just came and told me all about your wet dreams when you were eleven." She grimaced at the words and gave a sorry-looking face to John.

"He didn't?" John gasped in half-annoyance, half horror. She nodded again, trying not to laugh.

"Fucking arsehole." John mumbled to himself, making Clara laugh. "Ignore whatever you heard please." He begged, looking to Clara for some sympathy.

"Don't worry, I will." She guaranteed, moving towards him to lean her head on his shoulder. She felt comfortable next to him and she had missed the simple comfort of being beside him for too long, although it had been probably under an hour since they had been at Clara's.

She looked up to John, asking him for the confirmation of the essential question and he nodded happily. "Yes, you can stay." He smiled, leaning down to peck her lips lightly. She seemed to appreciate the action and smiled back at him.

"Thank you John." She mumbled, closing her eyes as she rested on his arm. "Thank you."

* * *

John and Clara grew incredibly close after that. They went back to school on the Friday, by which point their relationship had grown ridiculously strong, and they weren't afraid to hide it from anyone, much to the disgust of Clara's friends.

By the time she was back, everyone knew about the death of Ellie and were whispering about it behind Clara's back, but she ignored it as best as she could and stuck with John if she ever felt sad. He was her coping mechanism for getting through the day.

She had managed to make it up with Dad quite quickly, but to say that their relationship was good again would be building it up. They were getting by, but that was it.

But if Clara hadn't already hated Kyle enough as it was, he pushed a limit that made her insides cringe and want to die. He found her towards the end of lunch on the Friday she returned. She was on her way to see John when he suddenly grabbed her arm in the hallway and made her face him. She instantly knew who it was, because no-one else would be so cocky in such a move and manage to still make it feel gross.

He looked down at her in his best "sympathetic" face and smiled. "I hear you lost your Mum." He started off by saying. Clara straight away wanted to stick a knife in his gut and she felt her own anger building up, but she wouldn't let it surface. Not for some lame-arse loser like Kyle.

"And...you know, I'm here for you." He mumbled, moving his hand to stroke her shoulder. She quickly slapped it away, but he carried on speaking. "And I was wondering...if you will go to prom with me?"

Clara had to laugh at the irony that he would be the only person in the world that was stupid enough to link those two sentences together. "First of all," She began, wanting to smack his face in with a hammer, "Prom isn't until July. Two, how many times do I need to say no before you get it? And three, I already have a boyfriend."

She spoke out her last sentence slowly, making him sound like a baby and making sure that everyone around heard once again. He usually gave up for a while if she hurt his reputation.

"Who?" He asked quickly, leaning back in some kind of offense. Clara looked over her shoulder relieved to see John walking up behind her, curious as to what was going on at the end of the corridor. "Him?" He exclaimed in horror, staring at John who looked more confused than ever before.

"Yes, _him._" Clara confirmed, waving to John slowly.

Kyle shook his head, as if he couldn't accept the fact that it was true. "But...why? I mean, come on Clara, I'm popular, you're popular. I'm beautiful, you're beautiful." Clara scoffed at his last statement, laughing in his face. "We're meant for each other."

Clara didn't even get a chance to reply before John had come up behind her and pulled her into a soft kiss. She had to admit, he really knew when to pull those kind of stunts. She was extremely grateful for his action and took great pleasure in hearing the annoyed groans coming from Kyle.

When she pulled back, she simply smiled towards Kyle before walking back down the corridor, hand-in-hand with John. From behind, he made big arm movements of annoyance as she walked off with a boy he had never even spoken to before.

Clara didn't allow the idiot to see her face fall as she whispered to John, "Oh thank God for that. I thought that if I had to take any more I would either lash out or cry." She admitted, seeing his small smile drop a little at the sides. He kissed the side of her head softly as they walked, comforting her some more.

Nina and Kelsey were not amused when they started having to sit with who they called "losers." But Clara chose to sit with John at lunch time, and they always sat with Clara. But if you could have divided a table in half without physically doing it, those two knew how to make it seem like they didn't even know the people at the other end who Clara was talking to.

They would have liked to have thought they could get by without Clara's popularity, but no-one blinked an eye on what she chose to do, because everyone gave way for her. John very quickly realised that Clara didn't really know just how popular she was. She just accepted how everyone treated her and thanked them all for it.

She didn't see that she could pretty much do what she wanted and say what she wanted without anyone getting mad. Whereas John had to keep to the shadows, not getting in the way of people like her in case they were shoved into a wall.

When John said that to Clara, she had called him stupid and was shocked at the idea that she would ever shove him into a wall, or her friends for that matter. But John and his friends knew otherwise of them and didn't really like the idea of being punching bags for the other guys.

That being said, dating Clara meant that a lot of them left John, Amy and Rory alone. They didn't really want to get on the wrong side of the tiny girl who could kick all of their butts, and they really didn't want to be ridiculed for the rest of the school lives over it.

Clara and John spent a lot of their lunches with Mr Simons, revising for their Chemistry and other sciences to make sure they got A*s.

One time when Sir was out, Clara was moaning about how grateful she was to escape Nina and Kelsey for a while. It always confused John why she never wanted to hang around with the girls she called her friends. And that was coming from long before they were even dating.

He finally perked up the courage to ask her about it, hiding behind his textbook slightly in fear of her small temper which she could often get if he said the wrong thing. "Why do you hang around with them if you don't even like them?" He mumbled.

Clara looked to John angrily for a moment before relaxing her stare and thinking over what he had asked. It took her a while before she finally replied, trying to make sense of it all. "I just...I guess they're the people it's assumed I hang around with. And I don't really have anyone else."

John looked at her gently and she shook her head slowly. "Apart from you of course." She laughed, playfully smacking his forearm as he grinned childishly.

"But seriously," He carried on, "Why not find someone better to hang around with?"

Clara thought over it a second before quietly admitting, "Because then I would be a loser." She mumbled, looking away from John. She had never even considered that she was basically the top of the food chain before, but now it hit her she realised that was why she got away with so much.

John felt like he couldn't say much in response, but he understood where she was coming from. No-one wants to live out the years in high school being humiliated. It's everyone's secret dream to control what goes on, and Clara didn't want to be laughed at all the time. Although, John highly doubted she would be as her friends were only really popular because of her, but she didn't know that herself.

* * *

Exams were coming quickly. Clara was stressed as hell, especially about her Maths. She just had this awful feeling that she would fail. Which was why she spent most of her days on study leave over at John's house.

Loads of people made jokes about what she was doing over there, but in all honest she was just studying. She spent most of her time getting John's help and pigging out on the food in his kitchen. She had very quickly learnt that there was never a shortage of fatty foods in his cupboards and she marveled at that fact.

Dinah was very used to Clara spending most of her time and her house, and Dave had slowly accepted that John would spend quite a bit of time at his. That was when they weren't both at John's house anyway.

Clara enjoyed being a part of John's family. They accepted her with open arms, and David had quickly got used to the idea of having her around. She had learnt all about him and his girlfriend, Rose, who sometimes came over too. They were both applying for university though and their exams were hitting them much harder.

If Clara had to say she was scared for her exam, she would have been playing it down by a long way. She was absolutely terrified that she would mess it up and fail, although she had never done that before.

John was constantly there to tell her she was doing well, and she was so grateful to have such an amazing boyfriend and best friend.

She had begun to spend more time with Amy and Rory too, meeting them at the park with John to talk for a bit whilst they had their time off. She knew that Amy wasn't particularly keen on the idea of Clara, mostly because she hated the idea of John being with her, but she secretly liked Amy and wanted to be her friend. She liked how she was really tough and had a no-nonsense attitude to everything in life. She was much more organised than Clara would ever be.

Rory was a great guy even so, and he volunteered to help Clara with the study for her media. They were both in that class and she was very grateful that she had someone's help on the work. The media exam was the first up, but probably the easiest.

She just needed to double check she had everything. John told her she was making a huge fuss about nothing, but she needed to be sure. Exams brought out a whole new side to her that she didn't even realise existed before then.

John wasn't worried about his exams. He knew that he would pass them with flying colours, but he didn't want to seem so cocky around Clara until they were over. She knew him too well for that even so, and she constantly made him help her instead of just lounging around and doing nothing.

Each exam came and passed and in what seemed like no time at all, they were done. that meant they had a whole month and a bit of school being over. Then it was prom and then it was the summer.

As exciting as that month sounded, it wasn't brilliant when it actually came around. They spent most of their times doing what they had been during study leave, without anything fun to do.

They had a certain allowance each to spend for that time, but they both wanted to save up for their holidays.

On one sunny day, two weeks before the end of July, John was lying on Clara's bed as she licked an ice cream cone on the carpeted floor next to him. She had heard the noise of the van come down the road, and John hadn't even had a second to ask where she was going before she was out of the door with some cash to buy herself an ice-cream.

John had laughed over it for a minute, stealing a lick or two himself, at her childishness, but secretly envious that he didn't have one.

"Stop pouting." She warned, watching as he eyed the ice cream melting on her tongue. He looked upset that she hadn't got him one, but it just made her laugh.

"I'm not." He argued, still looking like a four year old in a strop.

"You are." Clara laughed, watching as he shook his head childishly.

"I want some!" He moaned, throwing his head back on her bed so he was lying straight on it. Clara giggled, taking another lick.

"Would you still want it if you had to lick it off me?" She teased, eyes widening the moment she finished her sentence. That had sounded way more suggestive than she would have initially liked.

John felt himself go a shade of red at the mental images that suddenly flashed through his brain, and he crossed his legs in fear of an awkward situation that was just waiting to arise.

"Yes." John gulped, barely audibly as Clara heard the strain in his voice. She didn't even need to see him to know what he was thinking about, even though it was the same thing in her head. this was something they hadn't yet talked about, although it was open for the whole world to see.

The sexual tension between them was constantly mounting, yet they still hadn't done anything about it. The fact they always slept with each other in their beds wasn't something new in their relationship, and they were always showing lots of affection to each other.

But this was something that needed to be talked about. It couldn't just be assumed.

Clara threw her ice-cream in the bin beside her as the silence dragged on. John felt uncomfortable lying on her bed, but didn't want to move in case it just made the situation feel more weird than before.

He heard her slowly get up and move to lie beside him on the bed, her body lengthways facing him. He knew he couldn't stay staring at the ceiling for too long, but he didn't really want to look at Clara's stare right now.

Eventually, after Clara lightly tapped his shoulder, he turned to face her. They stared into each others' eyes for a long moment, unsure of what to say. The sun from the window was beating down on their bodies heavily. John couldn't help but notice how Clara's body glowed as if she was heavenly.

He was snapped out of his daze when Clara suddenly opened her mouth so speak. "I don't know if you..." She started, looking to her pillow awkwardly as she tried to word it correctly. "I...would you like to, you know...have...sex? Any time soon?"

Clara couldn't believe that she was blushing. She never blushed at this kind of thing in front of anybody, but she suddenly felt so shy right now.

John nodded slowly, making her feel more at ease. "I would like that." He smiled, trying to find a way to not sound really creepy. "Whenever you feel ready to. I don't mind waiting or..." He trailed off his words, finding himself unable to form proper sentences at the idea of what they were talking about.

Clara moved her body closer to John's, her fingers now trailing lightly on his lower stomach. "You know...my Dad has to go away on prom night. Said I am allowed the house to myself..." She looked at John slowly, watching as his face turned to one of understanding.

"That sounds perfect." He whispered, seeing the small smile grow on her face. She leaned in slowly, touching his lips lightly at first.

Sure, their kisses had become heated before, but this time it wad different. The kiss suddenly was filled with lust, their hands tangling in each other's hair as they pulled lightly, making the other moan.

John moved his mouth down to Clara's neck and began to suck on the soft skin, applying a small amount of pressure with his teeth. He knew that she would probably kill him later if that had left a mark, but he didn't care in that moment.

In that moment, they both knew something between them had changed. Whether that was boundaries or trust, they both felt different around each other. john could help but find it amusing how ice cream had managed to trigger such a reaction from the two of them.

* * *

Clara pulled her dress on slowly, looking in the mirror uncomfortably as she looked at herself. Prom was meant to be the night were you felt most beautiful, and she had bought an absolutely stunning dress to make sure of that. It was scarlet red, matching her blood red lipstick that she was wearing. It was strapless and had a beautiful crimson belt around the middle, making flow as the silky material just hit the floor.

She wore red strappy heels underneath to up her height so that could feel taller. Her brown locks were hung in curls on her shoulders, with the two front parts pulled back with a crystal-like hairpin holding them together at the back of her head, which her Dad had given her.

She generally felt like a princess, yet she was still nervous. She knew it was because of the plans she had with John that night, but she didn't want him to think she was having cold feet. It was quite the opposite in fact, although she still felt tense.

Her father was waiting until he had seen her in her prom dress and taken some pictures before he left to go and see his mother in Blackpool for the weekend. That meant Clara had the house to herself until Sunday, and she didn't know if she should feel guilty about that or not.

She made her way slowly out of her bedroom once she was ready, slowly walking down her staircase. She saw a camera flash and tutted as her Dad took several pictures in a row.

"Really?" She whined, as he held the camera in her face.

"Yes." He insisted, taking a few more. "I want to remember how beautiful my baby girl looked on this day."

Thanks Dad." She smiled, opening her arms out to hug him tightly. It made her smile that he had made such an effort and it generally warmed her heart. She heard small sniffles in her ear and pulled back when felt a teardrop hit her shoulder.

She looked to Dave, concerned for him, as another tear fell down his cheek. "Dad?" She asked, wanting to know what was wrong.

"It's just..." He started, brushing away his tears quickly and smiling them off. "Your Mum would have been so proud of you. You look so beautiful."

Clara nodded slowly, understanding where the sudden outburst had come from. It took everything in her strength not to cry herself and she felt a wave of relief flood over her when the door bell rang.

Dave beat her to opening it and smiled at John as he entered the room. He would have been lying if he claimed his jaw hadn't dropped at the sight of Clara. She was beyond beautiful and the only think that snapped him out of it was Dave telling him to "Watch yourself. You're one lucky man."

"Dad!" Clara exclaimed, sounding embarrassed as both Dave and John shrugged it off.

"It's true." They said at the same time, making her blush bright pink. As John entered the house, Dave waved off his goodbyes, leaving the pair alone together to go to prom.

"You ready?" John asked, smiling gently to her. She knew he was asking about more than just the prom, but she smiled back anyway.

"Yeah." She replied, kissing his lips gently, not wanting to smudge her lipstick, as he led her out to the car he had waiting for them to take them to the prom.

He had hired a limo, much to the embarrassment of Clara, but then so had everyone else. It was only a short ride to the venue, but the champagne that the service served was worth it, meaning they hadn't gone without alcohol the whole night. And that was assuming no-one would spike the drinks.

The hall they had hired was huge, and music was blaring out from it as they entered hand in hand. Clara could see people dancing all around. It was hard to see anyone through the crowds, but she eventually saw Nina and Kelsey and went to talk to them.

John made his way over to Amy and Rory, grinning like an idiot.

"She really does look beautiful, doesn't she?" Amy mumbled, looking over to Clara. It was true that she had turned heads as she walked through the door and everyone had their eyes on her.

"You do too!" Rory argued, kissing Amy slowly. She gave him a bashful smile as he pulled away for his well-timed comment, but then she turned back to John who was still staring at her.

"She is though. You must be very happy John."

John nodded slowly, turning back to face them. "Feel like I've won the lottery." He admitted, looking down to his feet.

His friends knew everything about him, even what they shouldn't. So it hadn't shocked him a last week when Amy had guessed his plans with Clara for after prom, simply because of how excited he sounded about the end of the evening.

She made a point to walk over to him dramatically and say in his ear, "You're gonna get laid tonight!" John blushed bright pink, looking around with his jaw dropped open.

"Amy!" He shouted, checking no-one around had heard. It seemed the music was loud enough, but he was still glowing red.

"What?" She asked, defending herself, "It's true isn't it? You are going to get laid tonight." She repeated, making John want to curl up in a shell and die.

"What was that?" Came a small voice from behind John, as Clara peeked out behind him, popping her head into the circle.

"Nothing!" John blurted out, feeling his fingers starting to burn red too.

Clara giggled as she faced the rest of them, intent on making John blush even more if she could. "That you're going to get laid tonight?" She asked loudly, making sure Amy and Rory could hear over the music.

The two both started laughing at John's face, who looked like he was a tomato, and so did Clara. "Only if you're good." She teased, pressing a small kiss to his lips just to embarrass him further. "But you're doing pretty well so far." She then mumbled in his ear, just so he could hear.

His embarrassment was soothed as they walked into the middle of the dance-floor to dance. It turned out someone had managed to spike the drinks, although even strongly suspected it was the teachers.

Clara guessed it would be Mr Simons, as he pulled both her and John out to the side to tell them how proud he was of them in that year. They both had smiled their thanks to him and Clara got another round of people mentioning how gorgeous she looked.

The compliments were nice she guessed, but everyone was giving them. John felt like she really deserved to hear all of them after the year she'd had.

Mid-way through the night, they popped in their votes for prom king and queen. Everyone took the piss though and put in random names. john flashed Clara her name on his piece of paper before he put it in, and Clara flashed his name too.

He made a joke about how he would never win, but Clara was going too, which earned him a smack on the arm and a kiss for being soppy.

When it came down to announcing who had won the names, Clara and John stood at the side. They found the whole thing hilarious as no-ne really understood what it was for, but it seemed fun anyway. John made a comment about how it was only because of American TV shows, which had caused Clara to give him death glares.

The name they chose for Prom King was Bradley Knights, which no-one found surprising. Clara had to admit that puberty had done that boy well in year eleven and she knew that most of the girls would have voted for him because of it.

So when Clara's names was read out for prom queen, she had to admit that she was far more shocked than she should have been. She didn't really understand why anyone would vote for her.

As she slowly made her way to the front of the hall, she got a huge cheer and the most disturbing amount of wolf whistles, but she felt strangely happy about it. It was the first time she had ever been elected or chosen for something in her life, and it made her feel good to know that people chose to vote for her, and weren't all bitchy behind her back.

She smiled as she was given a small glittery crown. It was beaded and shiny, and in all honesty quite pretty, but Clara still could tell it was cheap.

As she made her way off the stage after a massive round of applause, she ran into John's arms. He was grinning like a lovesick fool, which he was, and he hugged her tight.

"I love you so much." He mumbled into her hair as she grinned into his neck.

"Soppy bastard." She mumbled, making his laugh out loud as the music recommenced. It was a slow song, but she quite liked it.

She waited a few moments until she could lean up to his ear to whisper, "I love you more."

John smiled at that, wrapping his arms around her lower waist as the song started to play. She had to admit that it was so typical that they had chosen this of all songs.

Everyone was suddenly slow dancing with a partner and she could practically hear everyone waiting for the chorus so they could join in.

What she hadn't expected was for John to pull her closer, so he could sing into her ear.

"I could be your hero baby." He sand, making Clara's heart beat faster.

He already was her hero, in so many more ways than he had ever realised. He had helped her through so much, and she was eternally grateful for that.

"I could kiss away the pain."

Clara smiled to herself as she thought of how he had done exactly that. She couldn't believe she was actually feeling sentimental over _this song_. But this was a special night, and she wanted nothing to ruin it.

"I will stand by you forever."

Clara's arms tightened around his neck and she pressed her face into his neck, planting light kissed there and making sure she remembered to tell him that she loved him so much later.

"You can take my breath away."

She chose that moment to brush his lips with hers and fully absorb herself in the moment. You only get one prom like this, and she wasn't going to waste it.

* * *

They somehow managed to stay calm as they walked through the door of Clara's house. Slowly walking up the stairs, she pulled him by the hand and helped him up.

It felt like everything was going to strangely. That was until they had shut her bedroom door.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, grabbing onto him as she attacked him in a fierce kiss. He responded enthusiastically, grasping her waist as they kicked their shoes off, and John leaned down every few moments to remove his socks.

They both moved back until Clara's knees hit the bed. When they felt that resistance of movement, they both pulled apart and stared at each other lustfully.

They could even explain how long they had been waiting for this moment, but now they felt like they were rushing things and going too slow all at once.

Clara slowly reached behind her and unzipped her dress, allowing it to drop ceremoniously to the floor. John's eyes widened at the sight of her body and she stood still for a moment, allowing him to drink it in.

She had to admit that she felt awkward standing there with so little clothes on, but she didn't want to seem scared in case he changed his mind.

She took a big step out of dress and picked it up off the floor, folding it over a chair neatly so that it wouldn't crumple. It may not have been the best moment for laundry, but the dress cost way too much to damage.

Clara looked down awkwardly at her sleeveless bra and red lacy pants, biting her lip nervously.

John took a step forward, grasping her bottom lip and un-tugging it from her teeth. "You look beautiful." He murmured honestly, before grasping her bottom lip with his own teeth and starting their kiss back up again.

Clara quickly shrugged off his jacket, putting it over the chair too, in case it cost a lot, and then began undoing the buttons on his shirt.

She moaned into his mouth as he moved his mouth down to her neck, nipping and sucking hard and occasionally biting into her skin, which was bound to leave a mark. But in that moment, she didn't care, and she moaned louder, urging him to do it again.

The temptation to close her eyes in pleasure was hard to fight as she undid the last few buttons and threw the shirt to the side. Her hands instantly roamed his chest and she pulled herself back onto the bed, John falling with her.

They moved into a position in the centre of the bed, Clara opening her legs so that John could rest in-between them. She could feel his hard member pressed to her centre and she groaned at the feel, shifting to cause some friction which made both of them cry out at the same time. His trousers were getting painfully tighter by the moment and he wasn't sure if he could hold on much longer.

She knew that they needed to slow down, but she was desperate to get his trousers off him, undoing the button and fly hastily and allowing him to kick them off as best he could with her assistance.

Clara pulled back from the passionate kiss they had been sharing, her lips bruised and swollen, her cheeks flushed, so that she could stare at John.

"We should slow down." She mumbled, looking to him and licking her lips at the sight before her. His hair was ruffled and his lips were also swollen from their heated kisses.

"Yeah." He agreed breathlessly, continuing the kiss but more gently. It was just as passionate even so, if not more loving and longing.

His hands moved from her hair, down her shoulders, and to the back of her bra. He unclipped it expertly and instantly moved his hands to her breasts, kneading them and tugging them at her pleasure.

She arched her back up and writhed beneath him, moaning his name over and over again from the thrills he was sending through her body.

She could feel him through the thin layers of clothing that were holding them back, and she moved her hips against his once more. That was when she chose to take actions into her own hands and she slowly moved her hand south, underneath the waistband of his briefs, and she grasped him underneath.

The gasp he gave as his eyes suddenly closed, his mouth hung open in pleasure, made Clara feel somewhat accomplished. 'as she gently pumped him, he pressed open mouth kisses to her shoulder, groaning and moaning.

He grasped her wrist after a minute, pulling off his briefs that were straining his hard member. She gasped as he was suddenly bare, fully exposed to her in a way he hadn't been before.

She grasped his cheeks and pulled his lips back to hers, allowing him to quickly pull down her pants and discard them somewhere.

Her breath hitched as she felt John's fingers running through her slick folds. She wondered how he knew how to do this so well, but her mind was too clouded with pleasure to say anything.

She cried out his names as he applied pressure to the one place where she need it. Her head dropped back against the pillow and she thrust her hips into him, begging for more.

She had never felt so much pleasure in her life. To be touched in such a way, and by _him_, was unlike anything she had ever experienced. It was so intimate to know that he was the one that was able to make her feel this way.

He slowly pushed one finger inside of her, making groan as her muscles tightened around him. He could sense how tense she had become and he kissed her jaw over and over to make her relax.

John slid a second finger in and soon he found a rhythm that made her cry out for him steadily. She felt the pleasure inside her building. She felt like a wave, building and building, preparing to crash on the sand. It felt strangely odd and desperate, yet so satisfying all at once.

He moved his fingers around until they found the place that made her cry out even louder, and then he attacked that spot mercilessly until the wave crashed and she screamed out his name, grasping onto him tightly as she came down from the high she had been on.

She could feel John's heavy breathing against her forehead and she was suddenly extremely aware of the fact she could feel his length pressing into her.

She pulled back for a moment to stare him in the eye and they both nodded to each other to check it was okay.

Clara leaned over to her bedside table and opened the top drawer, pulling out one of a few condoms in there.

"Sorry. Better safe than sorry." She mumbled, staring at the packet nervously.

John nodded in agreement. "You sure?" He asked, looking down to her. He was holding himself above her body on his forearms and Clara moved her head to kiss his wrist lovingly.

"Yeah." She replied, looking back to him. "You?"

He nodded in reply, allowing her to rip open the packet and roll the condom on to him. She looked down to see the length of him, her eyes widening in shock.

She remembered once measuring out eight inches on a ruler with Nina in year eight, and laughing about how tiny that seemed, but actually seeing that size in reality put a whole new perspective to it.

"Just..." She blurted out, making John look panicked all of a sudden. "Be gentle." She reminded him, smiling reassuringly.

"Of course." John replied, nodding to himself. "Oh God..." He mumbled, unsure of how exactly he was feeling. He knew he was nervous, but he also excited and afraid all at the same time. "You ready?" He asked shakily, planting a kiss on Clara's lips to emphasise that.

"As ready as I'll ever be." She replied, staring him in the eye.

John moved himself so he was stationed at her entrance. She pulled him down to kiss her deeply as he slowly pushed in.

She tried to absorb herself in the kiss, ignoring the pain as best as she could. It was a strange kind of pain.

It hurt quite a lot, but not in the way that would make you cry out and want to stop. There was some element to it that made you want to carry on.

John pushed in further and Clara gasped into his mouth, trying to mask the slight wince but also the pleasure.

She pressed her lips firmly to his once more, telling him that it was okay to carry on. He then slowly moved back out and pushed back in again.

The pain hit once again, but she didn't care this time. She looked up at John, who's eyes were squeezed tight shut in immense pleasure, his mouth hung open as he occasionally planted open-mouthed kisses to her lips.

They started to gain a steady pace, Clara gradually being getting used to the strange feeling of having someone inside of her. She moved her legs out the side slowly and wrapped them around his waist, locking her heels together around his back.

This allowed him to go in slightly deeper, making him cry out all at once. "I love you." She whispered in his ear, making sure he knew. She needed him to know that.

"I love you too." He whispered back, his pace beginning to grow sloppy.

His thrusts started to get uneven as he built towards his end. He wrapped his arms around Clara as he pushed into her one final time, crying out her name in ecstasy as the stars shattered around him. He felt like she was the only thing grounding him in that moment, and yet, she was the person that was making him explode around the universe.

After a few moments, John opened his eyes and looked down at Clara. They were both a sight to see, with flushed cheeks and a thin layer of sweat covering both of their bodies. Their hair was tangled up in knots and their lips were bruised and swollen, but they both felt happier than they had in the rest of their lives.

John slowly pulled out, making them both groan one last time. He quickly threw the condom in the bin, then wrapped his arms around Clara and pulled her body close into his.

Her face was pressed up against his chest and their legs tangled. Even though they both felt exhausted, Clara still managed to find the energy to kiss his chest and mumble, "You're perfect." Before closing her eyes to rest.

"Mainly you." John replied softly, brushing his fingers through her soft locks and kissing her head multiple times until he fell asleep.

That night was the start of many new things. It shaped a new Clara and a new John. And it started something else entirely; something that these teenagers had definitely not bargained for.

* * *

**Heya, sorry if this says it updated- I tried to correct some of the grammatical errors etc, although I know that I have still missed a few :/ Also, I will try my hardest to have a chapter up at least once a week, but they are going to be longer chapters (Not as long as this) so they won't be every day. Thanks!**


	2. Month 1

**So, this is where the story really begins. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed and read the first chapter! You guys are amazing!**

**I re-uploaded the last one with as many corrections as I saw, but I know I have missed at least one. I'm not aware of many in this chapter, but I have a habit of updating at 4am and by now my correction skills have failed me. So, sorry about that as always. **

**This chapter goes slightly over one month by a week, because I felt like I needed to establish it. So this chapter should technically be called "Month 1 and 1 week" but it didn't seem so effective. It would also mean the next chapter would be called "The next three weeks in month 2"**

**So, thank you to everyone once again! Please review and tell me what you think! (By the way, most chapters will be approx 9k words from now on, so no more huge ones like the intro).**

**Thanks to Kosovaheartland for being a massive help as always! :D**

**-OhMyStarsShiz xoxo**

* * *

"Do you have to go?" John whined, trailing his fingers on Clara's hip lazily.

Clara's Dad had a business trip out in the states for the whole of August, and he was taking Clara out there with him so she could help babysit his friend's kids. They had recently lost their Mum too and he thought it would be good for her.

And as much as she didn't want to go, she hadn't wanted to go to America since she was a little girl. Especially since she would be staying in Pasadena, and she had been promised to be taken to Disneyland, which was secretly her dream.

"Yes." Clara smiled, watching as John pouted miserably. "But I'll facetime you every day if you want me to. I can be on the beach and you can be in rainy old England."

He groaned loudly, watching as the small smirk on Clara's face spread into a wide grin.

"What's the point in going to America if you'll just be talking to me the whole time? Might as well just stay here." John grumbled, moping to himself.

Clara raised hey eyebrows and laughed at him. "Well then, I just won't talk to you at all whilst I'm..."

"No, no!" John interrupted, suddenly much more awake than he was before. "I can live with that, it's fine."

She tutted to herself, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on his lips. "Thought so." She hummed, her nose knocking his playfully as she brought her hand up to caress his face lovingly.

It had been an entire week since their prom night. An entire week since they'd learnt a whole new side to each other. They had spent the Saturday cuddling, wanting to rest before going at it again. They didn't talk about it much. They had just somehow mutually decided that they wanted to watch TV for the day. Although, that changed a lot that night when they got back to the bedroom.

But before they knew it, Dave was home on Sunday and John was running out of the house to avoid being seen, just in case Dave decided that he wanted to kill him for defiling his daughter, although he had been the one to leave them alone for an entire weekend together.

It was barely a day before he was back at her house though, unable to stay away. He had expected to spend the whole holiday with her learning all about her, inside and out, which is why he was so annoyed when she suddenly announced she would be going to America in a week's time for the rest of the holidays.

In truth, she hadn't known either, but it still annoyed him. It entertained her that he took it so personally. She had honestly not expected him to act like such a lost puppy, but then, they had barely been apart since they had been together earlier in the year.

Being away from him for an entire month wasn't going to be nice. But it could be her only chance to go to _sunny LA_ of all places in the world, before she so much as finished University, and that was a long time to wait in her opinion.

Besides, she could tease John all about her time there with the tan she was bound to get. That was if she didn't burn. She had never before, but her Mum was known for it. She was slightly grateful that she had received her Dad's skin in that respect.

It would be weird going on holiday without her Mum. It wasn't really a holiday so much as a business trip, but it would still be in a different country. Dave wasn't going to be there much, and although she would never tell John she had done this, she had begged her Dad to let him go with to keep her company. She didn't particularly fancy spending lots of time alone, and she had only met the kids she was babysitting once in her life when she was four and the eldest was just two.

Still, it was only a two year age gap between her and the girl, and a five year one with the boy. But she guessed that wouldn't matter too much. Fourteen year olds can be pests, but they're usually just out of that annoying phase. At least, she hoped they would be in America. She heard kids were different there, or that's what the TV had said anyway.

There was plenty she could probably teach the girl. Maybe not loads, but she would most likely want to talk about boyfriends and stuff. She would have a good chance of either being her friend, or completely grossing her out, but she guessed it would have to do.

Her mind diverted it's attention back to John, who currently had her cuddled on top of his chest as he lightly dragged his fingers through her silky smooth hair. He was humming some song, but she couldn't quite make it out.

"Great singing skills." She teased, mumbling into his chest. "You should be on the X factor."

John smirked. "I totally should. When your in America, I'm going to become a global sensation and when you get back, you'll be begging at me feet to be my girlfriend."

Clara chuckled lightly, moving her body up the bed once more to look John in the eye. "You wish." She teased, kissing his jaw lightly. "If anything, you're the one who will be begging for me, when I get back from the states with my super hot body."

They both laughed lightly, Clara kissing John again. She loved his adorable little banter. It was one of the things she found so endearing about him.

"Yeah, there is always that." He mumbled, admiring how her lips quirked up in a smile that she saved just for him. At least, he'd only ever seen her use it around him. His friends had even noticed it, telling him that she had this look whenever he was around that no-one else could ever receive.

Telling Clara that he was still nervous she would find someone better would be counter-productive, but it was his constant worry. All you had to do was look at Clara to know that she could have anyone in the world she wanted, and they would happily run around at her feet like a lost puppy. Hell, she could throw John in a ditch and he might even send her thank you flowers for even giving him that much of her life.

So, in all honesty, he just didn't particularly fancy the idea of Clara finding someone else whilst she was out in LA. The chances of her doing it there was just the same as in England, but it still made him slightly anxious. You hear all these things on TV about the LA boys, and John knew that Clara would not hesitate in teasing him about this over facetime.

"Earth to John." He suddenly felt fingers snapping in front of his face and Clara was raisin her eyebrows. He guessed she must have been saying his name for a minute as he'd zoned out.

"What were you mumbling about LA boys?" She teased, laughing inwardly as she watched John's face fall in horror. He hadn't realised he had been mumbling. God, what did she hear?

"Nothing." He quickly replied, making her laugh even more as his face turned bright pink.

"Don't worry. I'll tap as many of them as I can." She teased, watching as his face screwed up and he put his fingers in his ears childishly.

"La, la la la, laaa. Can't hear you!" He shouted, making Clara hold onto her belly from the raucous laughter he was making her let out.

"You're such a five year old!" She laughed, moving off him as she dragged her blanket that they were lying on with her to wrap around her bare body.

As she fully moved off the bed and walked over to the other side of the room, John rolled off the other side from the blanket being pulled out underneath him.

Clara turned when she heard the loud bang of John's body hitting the floor, and she giggled when she heard his small groan and his mumbled of "I'm fine."

"Need any help there?" She laughed, peering over the other side of the bed frame to take a look at the John who was now face down on her blue carpet.

She looked down at his backside, which was now directly in her view and hummed as she watched it slowly.

John turned to his head to the side, facing her direction and smirked as she shamelessly checked out his arse.

Her eyes moved to meet his, and for a moment he swore he could see her give him that bashful smile, but she simply pulled her blanket tighter around her body and smirked playfully again.

"I give it a two." She said surely, raising her eyebrows as his face fell, faking offense.

"Out of five?" He asked hopefully, watching as she bit her lip to prevent herself giving away her game.

"Out of ten." She confirmed, trying her hardest not to laugh as John opened his mouth in shock. He stood up quickly, not bothering to grab something to cover himself up.

She had never known him to be so bold in broad daylight, but it entertained her and she made a point to check his whole body out the moment he was facing her. She knew she was acting like a schoolgirl, but it was all worth it to see the beautiful expressions on John's face, and he secretly loved all of her teasing.

"Oh, I definitely think it's at least a seven." John argued, stepping towards Clara seductively. This time, it was her turn to slightly flush as his body moved closer to hers. If John was the devil, then he definitely had her in his grasp. All it would take would be one touch from his fingers and she would gladly tear Earth apart just because her wished her to.

His voice and his body were intoxicating to her. Her own personal drug that drove her absolutely crazy, but she was sure she was the same to him.

"Are we talking about your behind right now?" Clara asked as seductively as she could manage without breaking her face. "Or the entire package?"

John ignored her comment and continued to take small steps towards her, smirking softly. "But I would say it's closer to a nine." He continued, watching as Clara's breathing rate sped up. "Or maybe even a ten."

He swore he heard a small whimper come from her lips, but her face hadn't given it away. "Oh, you really think?" She challenged, her legs beginning to tremble behind the blanket as John took a steady grasp on her wrist and pulled her body to his so that their skin was touching in almost all places.

The only thing preventing that was the thin blanket she was still gripping hold to.

"Yeah." He confirmed. Her heart was thumping in her ears as his lips ghosted nearer to hers. She had no idea he could be this sexy if he wanted to. From how loud her heartbeat was, there was no doubt that he could hear it.

He slowly brought up his hand that wasn't still holding onto her wrist, and placed it gently over her heart. Clara's breath hitched and she closed her eyes for a small second to take it in.

He moved his lips even closer to hers, if that was physically possible, so much so that when they talked their lips touched.

"What you measuring that on?" She asked, trying to make sure her voice didn't crack. But she could see from John's silly smirk that he knew how sexy she was finding him, and he was rolling the pleasure of it.

To be fair, he could barely contain himself if she so much as touched him, so this must have been a taste of her own medicine.

"On the way your mouth is watering right now." He half-whispered, lightly running his tongue over her bottom lip. Her lips separated from anticipation with a quite "pop."

Clara tried to regain control of her breathing, but she knew she was too far gone for that as John's arms wrapped around her body and started tugging lightly at her hair.

In a small moment, John suddenly was tugging on Clara's hair harder to move her face upwards and his lips were attacking hers hungrily. She moaned into the kiss, dropping the blanket as she brought her arms up around his neck, pressing her body fully into his.

He groaned from the contact, realising that they had diverted off course slightly. He could have sworn they were meant to be getting out of bed, not back in it.

"Eleven." Clara suddenly gasped as her lips took a small moment to move away from his, before seeking them out once more.

He groaned his confusion in response and he could feel Clara's cheeky smile into the kiss. "Out of ten." She confirmed, slowly pulling away so that she could face John.

His cheekbones stuck out beautifully and she wanted to kiss them each multiple times. She would make sure to do that the next time he was over. Although, in the heat of the moment, she often forgot all these side things she needed to remember to do to him.

She could practically hear John's ego screaming at her last comment, but she didn't care. It was the truth in her mind, and she had teased him enough.

She placed a small final kiss on his lips before slowly moving across the room to her clothes drawer so that she could put something on.

Even though she had never particularly felt comfortable around other people, she had a new found confidence to herself around John. She wasn't afraid to be around him wearing nothing, and it made her feel good to know that he knew this too. It was

something that John had provoked in her, and in all honesty, she kind of liked it.

As she pulled out some new underwear, grabbing leggings and a jumper-top to go with, she could feel John's eyes on her once again. He was behind her, grabbing his clothes that had been taken off quickly.

He had turned up at her house early that morning, waving goodbye to Dave as they crossed paths in the driveway as he set off for work. Clara had still been in her vest top and shorts when he had gone into her room, and they had barely wasted any time in activities since then.

It was now eleven-thirty, and it was about time they got dressed and did something relatively useful with their day. Even though it was the holidays, Clara didn't particularly fancy waking up late and not doing much. She always felt so lazy when she did that.

"Twenty-nine." John suddenly said, making Clara turn her head, her eyebrows quirked up in confused amusement.

"Out of thirty? Clara questioned, quickly slipping on her underwear and her bra as John looked up at her knowingly.

"That's for me to know." He smiled, watching as Clara's face fell. She folded her arms expectantly, waiting for him to tell her.

But he wasn't giving in that easily and continued to get dressed as Clara stood there in shock at the fact he was actually going to keep it from her.

"Huh." She mumbled, turning back around to quickly get dressed.

It would take a while to get a brush through her tangled locks, and she knew that she still didn't look half-decent, but she was content to just lie around the house with John some more. After all, that's what he was there for, to make her feel better.

* * *

She hadn't been lying when she had told John she would facetime him. But that, she had meant it would be practically every day, or so he quickly found out.

He could tell it was sunny, simply by how gorgeously tanned she got. Her skin was slightly darker than usual, bringing out her brown eyes. And her chocolaty hair turned into five different shades of brown, with blonder highlights seeping out at the top.

It was a pain that she always had to either message him at seven in the morning for him, or eleven at night, because of the huge time difference.

But it meant that she was mostly free and he didn't have to wait up too much for her.

John hadn't realised how much his texts were costing him until Dinah showed up at his bedroom door, demanding fifteen quid from him for all the messages he had sent. Better than that, half had been picture messages and they were a fortune.

He'd had to show Dinah every picture he had sent in the first week and a half she was there. He was more than grateful that all were rated PG and under, although it was much to the disappointment of David.

"Just use snapchat mate." He teased, laughing at John as he had to give up his money. "Take dirty snaps all you like, and they only last ten seconds or less."

John rolled his eyes at his dirty-minded brother, although he was definitely going to take his advice so that his bill wouldn't be extortionate.

* * *

"Angie is nice I guess." Clara grumbled down the phone. It was eleven in the morning for her, and it was another day of lounging around, doing nothing.

"Where are they?" John questioned, not seeing them in the background of the video. She was sat in what he had learnt was the front room, and it shocked him that they weren't there.

"At some movie thing. I don't check up on it."

John furrowed his brow at that, watching as Clara slumped her head down into her knees lazily.

"Aren't you meant to be supervising them at all times?" John asked worriedly, seeing as Clara shrugged her shoulders.

"They said they know the city. And LA isn't too dangerous to be honest. It's all just beach." She grumbled, biting her nails from boredom.

It took everything in John not to laugh out loud at Clara as he faced her seriously. "You do realised that LA is one of the most dangerous places in America. Everyone has guns."

Clara suddenly looked up, ore alert than ever. "You're having me on?" She asked hopefully. John could see the colour practically drain from her face as he shook his head guiltily.

"Shit." She moaned, her head hitting her knees once more. She bit her lip nervously looking back to John who was looking quite unsure of what to do. He was a few too many miles away to really help.

"She'd fourteen. That's responsible, right?" She looked hopeful to John, who simply shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know! I've never met the girl!" John pointed out, seeing as Clara gave him a despairing look.

"Well...She'll be fine!" She looked down to the floor nervously, glancing back up at John once more with an adorable look on her face. "I think."

In honesty, it all made John giggle and they soon both found themselves in fits of laughter.

"So, what are they like?" John questioned, seeing as she rolled her eyes.

"They're fine. Girl is nice, average fourteen year old. She spends half her time talking to boys and probably spends the other half playing Barbie."

She could see John tutting in the background as she carried on, ignoring his disapproval of her childish comment. "And the boy is sweet, but he is only eleven and has already spent way too long ogling over me for my liking."

John chuckled, looking to her seriously. "You do realise that any eleven year old boy would ogle you? And you have basically spent the whole time you are there wearing tank tops or bikinis!" John couldn't really blame the boy. After all, he would have done the exact same thing. Although, he supposed, it was a little different at his age than it would have been if he was eleven.

"Well...!" Clara began, unable to finish her sentence as she started to shrug it off. "Yeah, I guess that didn't help too much." She mumbled, admitting her defeat.

"What was that? Did you just admit that you are wrong?" John teased, making her look up in annoyance.

"Don't get used to it. I'm rarely wrong." She teased back, leaning forward to stick her tongue out at the camera.

"Mature." John teased, laughing as she began to giggle too. He missed that gorgeous laugh way too much, and it had only been a week and a bit since he had said goodbye.

She brought her legs up to hug as she began to rock her body back and forth on the small sofa she was sat on. "What are you doing for the rest of the holiday then?" She asked, watching as John shook his head.

"I'm meant to be going with Amy and Rory to Paris for three days in a week, but I'm not too sure I want to go to the city of love as the third wheel." He grumbled, their moods switching places.

"I wish I could go with you." Clara smiled, thinking about it in her head. To go to the city of love with John, a cliché as it would sounds, was actually something insanely romantic that she really wanted to do.

"I would you could too." He replied, smiling at her as she smiled back.

"I also wish you could be here with me on the beach." She mumbled, giggling as John's eyes widened excitedly.

"I could get a ticket in five seconds online!" He exclaimed, pulling his Ipad out from beside him as he began to search for them.

"No!" Clara cried out all too quickly, making him worry as he slowly put the object down.

"Why not?" He mumbled, wanting to know why she had sounded so urgent that he didn't come out there. After all, hadn't she just said she wanted him there.

"Because..." She stumbled nervously, looking down to her camera. "I may have already asked my Dad and he said that he wanted me to make new friends in America and so it would only make him mad."

John couldn't tell why she was nervous to say that, as it simply made him laugh. "Is that short for, he didn't want us having sex on the beach in the city of Angels?"

Clara began to chuckle lightly and nodded out of reason. "Probably...actually yeah." She smiled, feeling happier from the sound of John's laughter too.

"I miss you." Clara mumbled, sounding completely love-sick.

John nodded. "Yeah, I'm doing fine without you too." He teased, watching as her eyebrows raised once more.

"Oi!" She exclaimed, making them both laugh again. Even thousands of miles apart, they were still able to enjoy each other's company.

At that moment, a door on Clara's end opened and she looked over her shoulder to see two children walking in. She looked over to John nervously, knowing for a fact that she would have to give them a telling off at some point.

"Gotta go." She mumbled to John quickly, not allowing him to say anything. "Love you, bye!" She exclaimed, blowing a quick kiss into the camera before turning off the call.

"Love you too." John mumbled to himself as the screen went blank. He would have to wait way too long to speak to her again.

Somehow, even though he now had a partner, he hadn't quite felt this alone in a long time.

* * *

Clara made sure to take hundreds of pictures of her on the beach in her bikini. Most of them were just to tantalise John, but she was beginning to have fun in LA. Her and Angie started to get on better than she had initially expected they would.

It turned out that she was a nice girl, and they spent loads of time together. As much as Clara found Angie's younger brother, Artie, adorable, he was a pain to have to take everywhere.

Especially when they went to the beach and someone offered to buy Clara some fries, and then he came up to her asking for an ice cream and she couldn't exactly tell him to fuck off.

She wasn't really expecting anything from the guys, although loads of them were hot. It was fun to have a laugh with them, but at the end of the day, it was John she wanted to be with her on the beach.

Her loneliness hadn't escaped Angie's notice, and she had made a point to stay up late with Clara so they could talk about everything from boys to school and to the beach.

The chats included long interrogations from Angie about her first time, but she strangely felt okay with the talks She had expected to feel awkward, but it was like having a younger sister who you could tell everything to without her getting grossed out.

As any fourteen year old girl is, Angie was nervous about dating guys and her first time, although Clara made her promise to wait until she was at least sixteen. Angie was quite a pretty girl, and no doubt would she be lining up the boys any time soon.

Although, Clara had never done that, despite the numerous offers she often got. She had been teased mercilessly by Nina and Kelsey for never taking up anyone's offers.

She'd never really taken anyone over to her house either. She often spent time with Nina and Kelsey, but her Mum had always disliked them and claimed they were a bad influence. Especially after the incident in year nine, which involved all their parents getting involved.

Clara still needed to really tell John about that. He'd heard things mentioned about the mess in that year, but he'd never dared to ask as the gentleman he was.

It hadn't been her fault that it had all turned into a disaster. It was all because of the stupid party. Nina and Kelsey had dragged her to it when she was far too young to go.

It was right at the beginning of the year, and she was still thirteen, although she was dressed up way older than that. It would have been hard for anyone to tell whether she was thirteen or seventeen, despite her tiny height.

Which was why people hadn't questioned giving her plenty of alcohol in the night. And when it had come down to the crunch, no-one had hesitated into giving her an ecstasy tablet. By that point in the night, she was too far gone to even make sense of what it was and took in unknowingly.

But the side effects had been disastrous. Mixed with the alcohol she had consumed, she was dizzy and sick and her heart rate had elevated way too much.

She had walked into her house that night feeling paranoid and sick. Ellie had seen her on the way and instantly knew something was extremely wrong with her daughter, and it wasn't just alcohol. After almost lashing out at her Mum, she had passed out and whacked her head on the side of the counter.

Dave had already come downstairs because of the screaming, and they quickly got her off to hospital. They had been told it was just in time, as he heart was beating way too quickly and she could have swallowed her own vomit.

When Clara had finally come around the next morning, Ellie was being sick with worry and she had no idea where she was or how she had got there. She didn't even remember taking anything, although the nurses had made it very clear what had been in her system.

After that, her parents had banned her from going out or bringing Nina and Kelsey over. They blamed her friends, which she hated at the time, but looking back she realised why.

She had been told all about what she had done the next morning, and she swore that she had never felt so disappointed with herself in her whole life. She vowed to never do it again. Seeing her Mum torn up over it had destroyed Clara, and that had only added to the stale relationship growing with her Dad.

So she had never really had anyone over at her house after that, which was why Ellie had even thought she had no friends. It hadn't helped that the only ones Clara could count for were the ones that Ellie hated to pieces.

She was truly scared of telling John, in case he looked down at her for it. It was mostly from hesitation when they first started their relationship, but now she felt like they were too close to suddenly tell him that. He might feel betrayed or something akin to that feeling.

After the incident, Nina and Kelsey had always laughed at her for being a goody-two shoes, but she was not eager to have a repeat of the last time she had gotten drunk at an illegal party.

They had felt "sympathetic" for her at first, but very soon they were complaining that she was no fun anymore. She wasn't really sure how to get it into their heads that waking up in a hospital after nearly dying and trying to attack your own Mother is not a nice feeling. They just never seemed to understand that.

But Clara knew that Angie would never do anything like that. Clara had been far too stupid at that age, and Angie was clearly much more mature than she had bargained she would be. People often thought Clara had been mature at thirteen because of that incident, but in her mind it simply made her more childish for being so stupid.

That was something her friends didn't really get. They talked a bit on facetime over the holidays, Clara tuning out as they ranted on about how many guys they had tapped in their free time.

She also didn't care much from the insistent questions of her first time with John. She slightly wished she had never told them, but they weren't letting her up until she had shared pretty much every detail and told them to piss off at least fifty times.

They had gone on holiday together to Barcelona for two weeks. They had invited Clara, but it was another last minute thing and she was already off to LA. She would have probably lied to them anyway so she could stay with John.

Putting up with them at school was hard enough, but two whole weeks would have been torture. And they were only going to get laid and to get drunk, so it wasn't exactly Clara's cup of tea.

* * *

John had been an idiot, and left his charger for his phone back in England when he went to Paris, so he'd had to beg Amy to borrow hers to facetime Clara, who wasn't amused when she found out.

He had finally agreed to go along with his friends when discovered that one day would be spent in Disneyland. They had all, even Clara in America, rolled their eyes at this, but she was glad that he would be getting out of the house for a while.

She could tell that David was ready to drive John insane. He was moving out to go to his University, and he not only talked about it non-stop, but spent the rest of his time telling his girlfriend who he then spent hours with, _extremely loudly_, in his bedroom.

So John was getting no break from it whatsoever. He couldn't wait until David was happily stashed away up in Durham and he could do what the hell he pleased without his brother teasing him for it.

So going to Paris was a secret relief, and he had really enjoyed going to see the sights. It had always been his dream to travel, but he had never been able to. Paris was one of the places he had always wanted to visit, along with Los Angeles, although he only saw that through a camera phone.

But Clara had sent him plenty of pictures of her time in LA, including her time at Disneyland, which he was seriously jealous of, although he was going too.

He managed one phone call with Clara whilst they were in France, and it cheered him up significantly. She had tutted at his excitement to see the Mona Lisa on that day, knowing how crowded it would be. But he still got a decent selfie with it, so he wasn't complaining too much. Mind, it was very small in the background.

It made for interesting conversation though when he got home, and it gave Clara break of having to find something to talk about. He didn't show her the presents he had bought her in Paris, but he was sure that she would love them when she got home.

He didn't even tell her about them, which was hard for John as he struggled to keep much from Clara at all. It was on the facetime call, two days after he had got back, that he suddenly remembered something from this thought.

"Out of ten." He suddenly piped up in a random silence between him and Clara, making her frown in confusion.

"What?" She asked, wondering what on Earth he could have possibly been talking about.

He swallowed softly, unsure if she would remember or not. "Twenty-nine out of ten."

Clara's face slowly lit up as she recalled their conversation and she began laughing nervously, watching as John's face relaxed in relief. "Why twenty-nine?" She giggled, twiddling her fingers, anxious for his answer.

"Why not?" He replied, watching as she rolled her eyes typically.

"Why not a whole number?" She asked again, watching him intently. "Why something just short of thirty?"

John smiled to himself, looking nervous again and she wondered what is was he was going to say. She could tell it would be cheesy, simply from the way his lips were quirked up, but he also looked a little scared to say it.

"Because I first spoke to you on the twenty-ninth of November." He mumbled, looking away so that she didn't see his bashful face.

Clara's smile softened into something heartfelt as she realised how beautiful it was that he had remembered that. She certainly hadn't recalled the date, and now she regretted that. It showed her up a lot. She was filled with a feeling she couldn't quite explain, and even though they had told each other they loved one another before, this time she generally felt like it meant more to her to say it.

Before, she had been sure it was love, but feeling what she did now was so overwhelming and powerful, she realised she had only been hit by half of it. And simply put, she was completely and entirely in love with him.

"I love you." She mumbled truthfully, watching as his face saw this admission for what it was; something new. "you know that?"

John smiled softly back at her, wanting nothing more in that moment than to pull her into his arms and kiss her, but she was too far away. "Not as much as I love you." He replied, making her bite her lip happily.

"Wanna bet?" She smiled, feeling her body fill with happiness as John laughed.

"Five hundred." He grinned. She leaned back in exaggerated shock, making him giggle.

"Well, you surely don't love me then. I would have said fifty thousand!" She teased, making him grin too.

"Five hundred-thousand." He returned.

"One million."

"Ten million."

"Fifty million."

"Five hundred million."

"One billion." Clara said loudly, watching as his eyebrows raised.

"One trillion." He tried to match, making her giggle.

"Infinity." She suddenly mumbled, looking up at him. "Nothing beats infinity. It's never-ending."

And to that, there was nothing John could say back. Because she was right, this was their little infinity, and nothing could beat that.

* * *

"I look hideous." Clara complained, her head in her hands as she looked into the camera. "I'm ill."

John tutted sympathetically. "Aw, what's up?" He asked, babying her. She simply groaned as her first reply, not wanting him to see her in the state she was in. She felt like crap.

"Was sick all morning. I think it must have been some dodgy crab or something. I dunno, they eat weird shit here. We had a grill last night and Mr Maitland thinks that I have food poisoning."

"Ah." John replied, suddenly realising that she had actually meant that. He had assumed she meant she had a headache. "Have you gone to a Doctor or something?" He asked slowly, as she groaned once more.

"Ugh, no." She moaned, rubbing her temples. "It's too...ah...expensive." She winced mid-sentence at the sharp pain in her head. "And Dad can't be asked to pay. Where's the fucking NHS when you need it?"

John laughed softly, looking over to her. "On a scale of one to ten, how bad is your head ache?" He asked, recalling some Doctor knowledge from one of the books he had read. As much as he hated admitting it, he had a photographic memory and he remembered things like this easily. Lucky for him, Clara didn't even question his knowledge.

"Eleven." She mumbled. John chuckled lightly, making her stick up her middle finger at the camera.

"Sorry, that just seems to be your favourite number." He laughed lightly.

"That's because you're an eleven." She slyly reminded him, wincing once again as her headache consumed her thoughts.

John smirked happily, but not happy over the fact that his girlfriend was sick. "I would hug you." He said softly, "But I can't really."

She moaned again, mumbling something to herself that John didn't quite catch. "The thought and smell of food is making me vomit." She wined, her head suddenly perking up as the door from the kitchen opened.

In walked Angie, smoke billowing everywhere as she walked out of the kitchen eating bacon and eggs. John could have sworn he smelt the food from his end of the camera, and there was no doubt that it had hit Clara's senses like an avalanche.

She quickly jumped over the back of the sofa, rushing past Angie and nearly knocking her food to the floor. "Oi!" The girl called back, annoyed that she had been ignored.

She began to run after Clara, when she suddenly heard retching from the downstairs bathroom. "Walking away!" She announced as she quickly took her food upstairs with her.

John waited a good ten minutes before Clara came back, and when she did, she looked like a mess. He hadn't got a decent look at her face before but now he could see just how pale she was. It definitely looked like food poisoning.

"You okay?" He asked, watching Clara as she grabbed two hairpins and clipped them onto her nose.

"No." She whined, groaning as she felt sick once again. She wanted desperately to spray out the food smell in there, but when she had sprayed a bit of deodorant in the bathroom, it had set her off all over again.

"I would hold you hair back for you if I could." John told her, trying to make it sound sweet.

"How unromantic." She replied, but sounding gracious for his words. "You should screencap this, then next time you want to break up with me, look at it and remember how ugly I truly am."

John laughed to himself, screencapping it for his amusement. "If I _ever_ want to break up with you, I'm going to look at this sight and remember just how beautiful you still are in this moment, and so I'll never do such a thing."

Clara smiled in response, feeling so lucky to have such a kind boyfriend. She didn't have much else to say, and John respected that she had a headache, so they simply slept, the line still open to soothe them.

"When do you come back?" John asked. It had been a week of throwing up for Clara and she was still sick. It was like torture for her, but he had been supportive.

"Next Friday." She mumbled, looking awkwardly at John as he realised what that meant.

"But results are..."

"Next Wednesday, I know." She whined, hating it. Her Dad had to stay in the US until next Thursday, but she wanted to be home for results day so badly. She hated the idea of waiting to find out what she got when all her friend and John would already know.

"That's shit." John grumbled.

"I know!" Clara agreed, sounding pissed off. "I love LA and all, but it's growing weary with nothing to do. And Dad might not even let me fly if I don't get this food poisoning cleared up."

John looked down to his feet, not particularly enjoying the conversation as there was nothing he could do to help. "I hope you get better." He said affectionately, watching as she whined again.

"Feels like it never will. I swear, I've never felt this shit since..." And there was the crunch point. She was about to say year nine. John would have probably remained oblivious if it hadn't been for Clara's eyes widening and her hand smacking over her mouth.

"What...what is it?" He asked, concerned about what she wanted to say now. She looked down to her feet as she tried to un-tense her body and avoid the conversation at once.

"Nothing." She replied smiling to him. "Just felt sick, that's all."

John wasn't stupid, and Clara knew it. So when he persisted, it didn't shock her too much.

"Clara?" He asked nervously, reading her like a book. "What is it?"

"Nothing, okay?" She replied, feeling agitated. Fuck her stupid mouth sometimes. She had never been more grateful for Artie suddenly bursting into her bedroom door asking for ice cream, because it was her perfect get out.

"Gotta go, love you, bye!" She said quickly, ignoring John's confused protests. It didn't bother him that she kept secrets, but John just felt like this one was something he should know. As a boyfriend at least, but he decided to leave it until later.

* * *

John was leaning on his counter, trying to message Clara. She hadn't messaged him since the evening before, and he wondered what was wrong. Tomorrow was results day, so she was probably annoyed with him as she was still in LA.

Dinah watched him from the other side of the kitchen, tutting at how glued his eyes were to his screen. It was clear that he was waiting for something from Clara, but bit annoyed her that he was practically dead over it. He seemed to only be blinking once a minute, and it was terrifying Dinah.

"Stop it John." She warned, as she cooked some pasta for dinner.

"Stop what?" He argued, watching as she looked up to him to raise her eyebrows.

"Moping over her." She warned again, raising her finger before John could argue. "It's so clear, you might as well save your breath."

John mumbled something to himself that she didn't quite catch. She was about to turn around and tell him to repeat it when there was a sudden knock on the door.

"Getting it." John moaned, his eyes still attached to his phone as he walked.

He quickly opened the door, not looking up to see who it was. "She's just inside." He mumbled, not paying attention. He still was waiting for Clara to reply to some of his messages.

When the person didn't step inside, he slowly realised from the corner of his eye that they were smiling at him. He also realised that the person was very short, with her brown hair and chocolate eyes waiting for his reaction.

He lowered his phone as he looked up to Clara, his face breaking into a massive grin.

"Hello." She smiled, watching as he looked completely shocked.

"Hi." He managed to choke out. There was a space of about three seconds that seemed to strangle anyone nearby, before Clara suddenly squealed and jumped into John's arms fro him to lift her up and swing her into his house, holding her tight.

Dinah turned around to see what on Earth the commotion was at the door, laughing to herself when she saw Clara. Although, who else would it have been?

"What are you doing here?" John laughed, kissing Clara's cheek as he spun her around repeatedly before putting her down on the ground.

"Dad let me get a flight home. Hadn't been sick for a few days, so he paid for my flight after a few hours of complaining, and here I am." She smiled.

John looked to the doorway to see her suitcases, but only caught sight of the bag strung across her shoulder.

"I went home for a bit first." She explained. "To grab some new clothes. I was hoping I could...stay here?" She asked, diverting the end of her question more to Dinah.

"Why do you even ask?" The woman said nicely, watching as Clara jumped up and down with glee.

"Thank you!" She exclaimed, finally calming down as she had a moment to look into John's eyes for the first time in nearly a month. Properly, at least.

He looked different to her. More grown up. But then, she did too. Her skin was browner and she certainly felt much more mature. She wasn't sure if that showed in her face, but she just felt much older in total.

"I'm glad you're back." John mumbled, smiling down to Clara.

"Me too." She agreed. "Me too."

And that was all it took before John's lips were on hers, hungrily mapping out the areas which had missed so much. It even made him dizzy, her too.

"Okay, that's enough!" They heard from behind them, as Dinah tutted. "The food doesn't want to have to witness that thank you very much."

Clara smiled bashfully at John, biting her lip as they pulled apart. "Your room?" She asked quietly, smiling as he nodded. He was unable to keep his eyes away from her lips for too long, and they both knew that the moment the door was shut it would stay that way for a while.

They both quickly ran up the stairs together, giggling as Dinah called from behind them.

"Dinner in five!" She shouted, watching as her son seemed happier than he had all holiday. "And no funny business!"

Clara giggled as she skipped into John's rooms, lying down on his bed like starfish.

"Thanks for leaving me a space." He said sarcastically, making her laugh as she budged over so he could lie next to her. She turned her body to face his and instantly their mouths were one each other's again. It had definitely been far too long. The rest of the world could wait, this was their time for now.

* * *

Clara woke slowly, cuddling into John's warm chest. Around her wrist was a silver chain. John had given it to her the night before. She smiled as she remembered him telling her it was from Paris. In the middle of the chain, there was a small heart that was filled with what looked like diamonds. Clara doubted they were real, although John often said things as if he had money, although he didn't act like he did.

Maybe his birth parents had left it for him?

She kissed the space above his heart gently as he stirred in his sleep. She could see from the clock on the wall that it was already eight-thirty. She was shocked she had slept that long, considering her jet lag should have kicked in by now, but she hadn't slept on the flight and she was exhausted.

She hadn't slept on the flight, mostly due to the thing she suddenly remembered about when she woke up.

In a small moment, she had thrown John's arm, which was wrapped around her body, off her and was running to the bathroom next door before she was sick.

John quickly stirred, waking up as he heard the sound from next door. It took him about ten seconds to get out of bed before he was at her side, pulling her hair back as she was sick into the toilet.

"I swear you said you were better." he mumbled, as she continued to retch, but nothing seemed to be coming out.

"I lied. I wanted to be back for results." She admitted guiltily, hearing John's heavy breath from behind. He hadn't really expected much more, but he was shocked that she had hidden it from her father so well.

"Idiot." He mumbled affectionately, making her groan as the last bout of sickness passed over her and she was grateful nothing more came out.

"Sorry." She whispered, falling down against the wall beside the toilet after flushing it. "You didn't have to do that."

John sat down beside her, stroking her hair out of her face as he felt for her temperature, which was quite normal.

"I said I would, didn't I?" He asked, smirking when she groaned, because he was right. He was always right.

"I will show you how much that meant to be after I have brushed my teeth a million times and showered." She mumbled.

John laughed, standing up and extending a hand to her so she could too. Once she felt okay again, she forced him to leave the room so she could brush her teeth and shower to get the awful stench off her some.

They got a bus to the school, arriving there at ten. They weren't shocked to see it was crowded at this time, but they were quick to get in the queue.

Clara was shaking from nerves, but John's hand was comforting. "You'll have done great." He encouraged, and she smiled at him for his help.

When she got round to picking up her envelope, she moved to the side of the school hall and sat on a chair.

She wasn't eager to read it, yet at the same time, she was. John found her quickly and sat beside her, the same feeling hitting their guts.

"On three?" She asked nervously. John nodded and they both moved their hands to open their letters.

"One." John started, watching her intently.

"Two." She continued, feeling her heartbeat begin to race.

"Three." They both slowly opened the envelopes, hands shaking at what was inside. They knew it was weird to be nervous, but they both were.

Clara read her results slowly, eyeing each one carefully.

She wanted to go into shock when she read them. Six A*s, Three As and one B.

She wasn't shocked that the one B was from French, since it was a compulsory subject and she sucked at it. There was slight disappointment from the A in Physics, when her other two sciences were A*s, but she had always hated that particular side to the subject. The A in Maths was a miracle, since she hated it, so she was over the moon about that. She had an A in RE, but again in had been compulsory and she didn't care much for it. A* in Media and History too, so it meant that she had done pretty damn well.

"What did you get?" Clara whispered to John, who eyed his paper slowly.

"You?" He replied, holding out his sheet for her to take. They swapped slowly, and it didn't at all shock Clara that he had ten A*s on his sheet.

She laughed to herself, not at all surprised by this. Everyone knew that John was a genius.

"I'm so proud of you." John smiled to Clara, pulling her into a huge hug at her results.

"You too." She replied, over the moon that they both had done well. To say she had been worried about it would be a huge under-statement and this had definitely made her year. Or at least, part of it.

"Well done." They heard the happy voice from behind them, and Clara jumped up to give Mr Simons a quick hug.

"You know the results." She smiled.

"Well, I may have had a little..."

"It wasn't a question." Clara laughed, making Sir look at his feet happily. "You know the results."

"Well...yeah." He admitted. "So happy for you two! Thanks for the A*s in my subject by the way!"

Clara and John laughed, John standing to join in the conversation. "Let's hope you two can keep it up next year." Sir smiled, before walking off to talking to some other students.

"What have you chosen?" Clara suddenly asked, realising that she didn't know John's options. It was weird how it had slipped her mind.

"Physics, Chemistry, Biology, Maths and History." John replied quickly, making Clara laugh. She should have known he would have opted for the academic ones. "You?" He asked slowly.

"Umm..." She began, rattling her brain. "English Lit, English Lang, History, Chemistry and Psychology. But I'll probably drop either History or sadly Chemistry next year. You?"

"Probably Biology or History. Which, is a shame really." John muttered to himself, knowing that he would end up doing all of them in the end.

"Yeah right." Clara laughed, knowing the same thing too. They both smiled at each other, happy with what they got and ready to go home.

* * *

They were back at school the next Tuesday, and already in the sixth form. That meant they no longer had to wear the itchy school uniform, and everyone loved it. It was suddenly colourful in their year. But they were told in the first hour that the girls had to have decent cuts on their shirts, and no butts, boobs or stomachs were allowed. Clara had no idea how people still groaned at that, believing they would have ever been allowed. It was common sense after all.

She was with John in both History and Chemistry, so she didn't feel too alone in them classes. Mr Simons had started off the lessons by letting them sit anywhere they wanted.

John and Clara ran to the centre of the room, but right at the back where they were most alone. The other two couples in the room ran to the side benches, making Clara laugh.

The first thing Sir said to the whole class, as he walked down the aisles, was, "I don't care if you don't work. If you fail, it's not my life I'm ruining. So you can sit where you want and do what you want. _But_, If I catch any hand-jobs going on at the back of this room, then I will make sure you never live to see the light of day."

Clara's jaw had dropped open along with John's, and she removed her hand from John's thigh, which she hadn't even realised was placed there.

Even though there were two other couples in the class, they both knew the sarky comment was directed to them, which was emphasised by the small wink Sir gave as he walked past, before going to the front of the class to start up the lesson again.

* * *

Friday lunchtime. The moment when Clara felt her entire world turn upside down.

She was sat in the sixth form lounge, John, Amy and Rory one her one side, with Nina and Kelsey facing her.

She wasn't really listening to what Nina was saying, tuning out to pay attention to watch John was saying to Amy. She found his voice much more interesting, although she tried to her best to look like she cared.

"Clara?" Nina called, making her turn her attention back to her.

"What?" She'd asked angrily, suddenly feeling ashamed as John turned to check she was okay from her loud tone. She'd forgotten how easily she could be rude to people if she wanted to.

"I asked if you had any paracetamol?" She repeated, watching Clara as she suddenly paid attention.

"No, sorry. Why?" She replied, leaning over to Nina as she moved away from John.

"Because I have cramps and it's killing me. Ask Amy for me?" Nina begged, looking over to the redhead as Clara leaned back against the chair she was sat in.

"You!" Clara argued, watching as Nina was stupid. "It won't kill you." Clara mumbled, looking away.

Nina stood up out of her chair to walk over to Amy and decided it would be best to ask her as loudly as possible. Clara rolled her eyes to Amy as the girl looked her way.

"Sorry." She mouthed, making Amy dig through her bag for some pills.

Clara thought about the situation for a moment, wondering why she had no pills on her. Usually she carried some, just in case she ever needed them, which she rarely did, or usually for Nina or Kelsey.

During her thinking, Clara suddenly froze. Period pains. Periods.

She thought back to the last time she'd had one, but she couldn't think. The colour must have drained from her face, but luckily no-one noticed.

In a panicked daze, Clara slowly began to dig through her bag for her phone, pulling up the calendar she had on there.

She scanned through the dates. Her last period had been a week before the prom. She had left for America a week after prom. So she should have had one in her third week in America.

She was late. Hell, she was very late.

"Clara?" She heard John's voice and quickly tried to act like she was okay. But all she wanted to do was scream Fuck as loudly as possible. No. Her hunch couldn't be right. It simply wouldn't be.

"Yeah?" She asked quietly, turning slowly to face him, her eyes still trained ahead of her. She had quickly put away her phone, but now she was in a daze.

"You okay?" He asked, pulling her face into his hands as he examined her features. She looked shell-shocked to say the least. "Do you need to go to the nurse?"

Clara finally moved her eyes to John and stared at him blankly for a moment. "I..." She began, unable to form a sentence. "I...Yeah." She finally managed out.

"You feeling ill again?" He asked, concerned for her well-being. She was still being sick as far as he knew.

"Yeah." She mumbled, standing up abruptly. Everyone turned to face her, a worried look on most of their faces. In the light, she did look awfully pale. "I'm gonna go to the nurse." She then walked off slowly, unsure if she would be able to support her legs for enough time to even get there.

She sat on her bed, legs crossed over as she stared at the white sticks in her hands. The nurse had excused her without question, giving her time to go into town and buy a pregnancy test.

The fact she had even made it home was a miracle, as right now she felt so nervous and sick she wanted to cry.

The timer had gone off long ago, but she couldn't bring herself to turn the two sticks over. It was too scary. If they were positive, she knew it was over. Her life would be over.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she pulled it out quickly, seeing it was from John.

_Hope you're okay, I'll be over in twenty x_

She wanted to quickly reply, telling him not to come, but in her haste to stop him, she jumped up too quickly and knocked the sticks onto the floor.

"Fuck." She groaned to herself, quickly getting off her bed to pick them up.

She was too busy panicking about John to realise that she had turned them over, and the result was now staring her straight in the face.

"No." She gasped, falling back onto her bed as she sat so she wouldn't pass out. "No, no please." She mumbled.

Tears of anger and self hatred filled her eyes, but the result on both the tests out-ruled her hopes. "No, stop it!" She cried out at the objects, her hands shaking as a single tear made it's way down her cheek.

But it was too late. The plus sign was as clear as day. And Clara Oswald, was pregnant.

John opened the door hesitantly, knowing he was allowed inside at any time. But Clara hadn't replied to his text and he was worried she was asleep and he didn't want to wake her.

He walked up the stairs quietly, opening Clara's bedroom door as sneakily as he could and peering inside. When he saw no-one in there, he frowned and walked over to the bed to sit on it.

He was waiting for no more than three seconds before Clara walked in from the bathroom. "Ah, what the fuck?" She cried out upon seeing him, frightened by his sudden appearance. It wasn't unlike him to let himself in, but she hadn't been expecting him so soon.

As much as she had tried to hid it, the tears stains were evident on Clara's cheeks and she looked a mess. "Clara, are you okay?" John asked slowly, standing up to make his way towards her.

"You gave me a fucking panic attack!" She complained, barging past John in an attempt to hide her sadness in anger.

But what she was most panicked about was the pregnancy test on the desk beside her bed. It was there, clear as day, and there was no way she could get to it before he would see it.

"Clara?" He asked once more, following her as she pretended to pick clothes off the floor, hoping it would distract him. "Are you okay?" He asked once more, watching as she was clearly agitated.

"Fine." She mumbled, quickly grabbing the white stick of the side and shoving it up her sleeve, hoping he didn't see it.

But she would have been stupid to think anyone was fooled with that move. Especially when John had been studying her every move so intently.

"What was that?" He asked quickly, walking over to her. He had no idea why she was acting so strange. She'd never seemed so scared of him in her life.

"What was what?" She replied, not looking at him as she threw the dirty clothes into the hamper.

"That thing in your hand, what is it?" He asked again, making a point to walk towards her and point at it with his head.

The edge of it was sticking out of her sleeve, and there was no way she could deny it was there now. She had ditched the other one in the bin, but she hadn't been quick enough with this one.

She considered lying to him, claiming it was something else, but she knew it would never have worked. She considered running away, screaming and crying, but she knew that it wasn't going to change anything.

So she stood still as John extended his hands to her wrists, testing her, and then slowly pulling the stick out.

She waited five seconds, looking to the floor in misery as John came to terms with what was in his hands. No way. That was impossible. There was no way she was...

Clara choked a sob and it instantly made John look up in fear, watching as another tear made it's way down her cheek.

He tried to pull her into his arms, but she turned away from him, sobbing into her hands as she tried to regain some control of her emotions.

"I'm sorry." She gasped, barely able to breathe. "I've ruined everything, I'm sorry."

John could barely make sense of anything in his head, but he knew that she wasn't to blame for this. He took a step forward, wrapping his arms around her from behind and holding her tight.

"This isn't your fault." He said into her ear, hearing as she continued to cry. "It's not, it's not." He refused to allow himself to cry. Not when Clara needed him. Not now.

She turned her body around, hitting her fist into his chest continuously as he rubbed her back and held her close. Her tears drenched his shirt, but he didn't care.

Her shaking shoulders were violent in their actions as she struggled to stop the sobs that racked her body. "It's over." She began mumbling. "My life is over. It's over, it's over."

And as she repeated those words again and again, John wanted nothing more than to correct her. He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and tell her that it wasn't and everything would turn out okay. But he couldn't, because he would never lie to Clara. And simply, she was telling the truth.


	3. Month 2

**This chapter is slightly shorter that the last, but it's over less time. **

**Thank you to everyone who has read this fic so far! Please, please, please review because it makes me ultra happy :p**

**Quick warning that my updates may become once a week as I'm going back to school on Tuesday, but I will try my hardest. **

**Thank you sooooo much once more- and I hope you enjoy!**

**-OhMyStarsShiz**

* * *

Clara was retracing the same three steps by her door, over and over. John was five minutes late. It didn't usually matter, but she was getting panicked that he wouldn't show up at all.

They hadn't even talked after she had told him. She had cried for a short while, but her father had got home early and wanted to take Clara out for a family dinner, so John had to say she was ill to get out of it. Unfortunately, it meant that they couldn't exactly talk about it, so John left with the promise to be back at nine the next morning.

At least it was a Saturday. That might be the reason he was late. He probably had a late night and slept in. She shouldn't really be a stressed out about it as she was.

But she was scared that her wasn't going to come back to her. She was scared that he had left her in this mess all alone, although John would never do such a thing. She had spent the entire night scared about what on Earth they were going to do.

This kind of thing happened to girls who's parents encouraged them to sleep around and have kids young. Not _her_, who's family expected her to be four years married before she even began to start _trying_ for a child.

Her mind was racing, and her brain hurt from the lack of sleep she had got. She was sure she looked a mess, but she just needed John back. They needed to talk urgently. They had to sort it all out before she drive herself crazy with worry. It would all be fine, she just needed John to help her.

When she heard the small knock on the door downstairs, it was like a wave of relief had flooded her body and she was somehow able to relax some, although not entirely.

She could faintly hear the short conversation John had with her Dad as they exchanged greetings, before she heard John running up the stairs and in moments he was in her bedroom.

He opened the door wide, causing her to step back for a moment. But she barely had a second to even move before he had pulled her back into a hug. She'd never realised just how much she had needed that, but he could clearly tell how tense she was bound to have been and it seemed he had been that way too.

He stroked her hair softly, laying a kiss on her forehead, as she rested her head in his chest. She wasn't crying, or really doing much apart from breathing, but it was comforting all the same.

"John." She whispered after a few moments feeling how rigid his muscles were. It was like he had been put in a freezer all night and every bit of blood in his body had turned to ice, which was in a vast contrast to the warmth his skin was radiating.

"Yeah?" He replied quietly, starting to slowly loosen his grip around her body so that they could actually talk.

They slowly pulled apart, facing one another. Clara's question was nearly lost in her mouth when she saw the dark bags under John's eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept a wink, although she assumed she looked exactly the same.

"Are you..." She wasn't sure if the word was the right one to use, but for lack of any others, she finished her sentence. "Okay?" She breathed out, eyes fixated on his chest in fear of finding awful feelings behind his eyes.

John waited a painful few seconds, which seemed to last forever, before he answered, "Yeah." She gave him a small nod in acceptance of his answer, and once again the dismal silence last a tiny few seconds, but each one felt like an eternity. "You?"

She simply nodded in response at first, unsure if she could muster the courage to say yes and lie to him. It felt wrong to do that. Especially in this situation, it felt like betrayal.

"I guess." She softly mumbled, not looking into his eyes, knowing that he knew she was trying her best to make him more at ease.

More silence. Except this time it felt more eternal. Yesterday they had been laughing like absolutely nothing was wrong, and now they were standing in front of each other, unsure if they would ever be able to utter a single world ever again.

Clara chose to take action into her own hands, moving slowly towards her bed so that they could sit and have an actually conversation. No words were said, but John followed, knowing her intention.

As they walked, John heard Dave's car door shutting from outside, and he was slightly grateful he had left so quickly. He had some sort of meeting in town which Clara had been told about, which meant that they had originally planned to spend the morning together. But, for obvious reasons, they had thought it would have been for other uses back then.

Clara sat down on her bed with a small bounce, perched on the edge lightly in case she had to make a quick getaway to the bathroom. She had been sick already that morning, but she still felt like her stomach was twisting. Although, that feeling may have just been caused by the nerves.

John sat down on her right, his knees faced slightly inwards so she didn't feel like he was turning away from her. That was the exact opposite of wanted he wanted to do to her in that moment. He felt like he should be holding her and making sure she was okay, but it was clear she needed some space to think.

"I thought you wouldn't come." Clara piped up, fiddling with her fingers on her lap as she stared at them as if they were the most interesting thing in the room. "I thought..." She gave off as light chuckle, that seemed as hollow as a drum, resonating all the sadness within somehow. "That you...you know..." She coughed to clear her throat twice, trying to stop it growing thick with tears. She didn't need anymore tears right now. "Weren't coming back." She finalised, making her fears clear.

She didn't look up to see John's face of horror, but she felt it in his body language as he placed his hands over her fingers, which stilled their fiddling, and faced her seriously.

"I would _never_. _Never_ would I not come back for you." He whispered, trying to make Clara look him in the eye, but she was still staring where she had been before, as if he hadn't put his hand there at all.

"Clara?" He mumbled, trying to get her to look at him. When she still remained frozen to her spot, he gently moved one of his hands to lift her chin lightly. She snapped her head towards him, and he saw the small drops of water that were building up in the base of her eye-lids.

"Mum had wanted me to help her with the washing. I felt awful for trying to say no. I'm sorry." He generally looked guilty, as if he had committed some awful crime, but it made Clara feel a little bit better. "I will _always_ come back." John re-affirmed, making it clear as he looked into her eyes.

"I know." Clara whispered, staring him back properly. There was something about the depth in his eyes, so insecure and scared, that managed to make her feel somewhat safe and protected. Maybe it was the simple knowledge that he too was going through what she was, but in his own way.

She shuffled closed on the bed to him, leaning her head on his shoulder gently, finding comfort in him being so close. His hand immediately went up to stroke the hair that dangled off her shoulders, and the motion soothed her tense mind.

"So..." John began, looking down to her as she stared straight ahead at her dresser. They had to discuss this; she knew that. But it simply felt so alien to her to even feel the need to talk about it. How could this have happened to_ her_? If it was Nina or Kelsey, she would have got it, but not_ her_.

"The morning before I left for America." Clara murmured, making John look down to her. Her gaze was still fixed on the point it was before, but her voice sounded less monotonous.

"What?" John asked, confused by what she meant. She often had a way of saying things before she elaborated.

"When it must have..._happened_." She sighed, moving her face away from John's shoulder to look him in the eye. She twisted her hands around to hold his in a tight grip, staring at him unsurely. "I..." She looked around the room, shutting her eyes for a breath moment to inhale deeply. "That second time we...went at it. I don't..." She shook her head as her throat grew think once more and she felt like a tear was about to fall. She desperately tried to swallow it down, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. "I don't think we used protection?"

It sounded more like a question, and she was definitely unsure about it. "I don't know." She whimpered, looking around as if her room could provide some explanation. John pulled her into his arms once more, resting her head on his chest as he allowed her to rest and close her eyes.

"I just don't know how this happened." She gasped, grabbing onto John's arm as she prayed her knew.

John could barely remember that morning at all. It was possible that he hadn't put on a second condom, but he wasn't even sure of anything that had happened all that time ago. It was too far back for anything else to be recalled.

"I'm sorry." John mumbled, kissing her hair apologetically. "This is my fault, I'm sorry."

Clara took no time in moving her head out of his chest to face him, bringing her hand up to his face and cupping her palm around his cheek softly. "No." She said simply, looking him deep in the eyes. "It's not your fault."

John didn't even now how she could possibly blame herself, when it should have been his responsibility to check they were using protection. Was he honestly _that_ stupid?

"It is." John said, looking her in the eyes as she squinted like she didn't understand. "I should have used protection. I...I'm _so _sorry." He gasped, unsure if the message would come out clear.

Because in this situation, there were only about three possible options. And in the end, all of them would work out badly for Clara, whether that be physically, mentally or for her future.

"I'm sorry too." Clara choked. "You're a good person, you don't deserve..." She waved her hand around, vaguely moving hear her stomach and then pointing up to her face as a teardrop scraped down her cheek after she blinked hard. John's eyes were following it's quick path down her pale skin, moving to her jaw before it dropped down onto the neck of her shirt to be lost within the fabric forever. "_This_." Clara finished.

John could tell what she was meaning, but he wouldn't accept that. He quickly pulled her escaped hand back into his and grasped them tight, moving her so that her body was fully facing his. He took his chances, leaning in to lightly scrape her lips with his, before kissing her nose and her forehead just as affectionately. "Why would you deserve this? You're the best person I know." He mumbled, kissing her lightly once more.

The affection hadn't gone amiss in Clara's eyes, but he simply received that deathly chuckle once more as she looked down with her big sad eyes. John remembered once thinking that her eyes were like a doe, but all he could think of now was that awful moment in Bambi when the mother realised she was going to die, and her eyes were filled with so much hurt and sadness. "There a things you don't know about me." Clara mumbled, certain on the idea now that she must be cursed in some way. Because no matter how hard she had tried to be good and better, she still ended up in the shit she had been in before.

"Then help me to know. Because, I assure you, you are _not_ a bad person. Not even close. And you may not have said it, but I can see it in your eyes." Clara looked up at this, allowing John to see back into the eyes that screamed volumes of what she would never want to say. "You're _not _bad."

Clara looked down again, throat thick as another tear fell. She suddenly felt incapable of stopping herself from crying. Ever since her Mum died, she had been able to shut off these things that made her sad. She had built a brick wall around her sad feelings, never allowing any to leak out. But now it seemed there was a leak in the wall, and everything was pouring out of her and there was no way she could stop it.

"I must be." Clara whispered, curling her body over to wrap her arms defensively around herself, as if that would somehow help. "Because _you_ don't deserve this. And I've messed it all up for you."

John shook his head, appalled that she could even think that. He felt no hesitation in pulling her into his arms once more, allowing her to find some comfort in the sound of his heart beating in his chest. "You haven't messed up anything. I _love_ you, and this is what I signed up for. I put my name on the top of that list when I first told you how I felt about you. And, if anything, it's me who got us into this mess. So I'll be the one to hold your hand."

Clara nodded slowly, kissing the area on his shirt that was wet from her tears, but he didn't care.

"Did you sleep last night?" Clara asked slowly, changing the conversation.

"No." John said simply. "I was...thinking."

She looked up at him, finding his honesty something comforting. "What about?"

"All the possibilities." John replied simply, knowing there was no need to elaborate.

Clara looked down to her feet, knowing he would have said that. After all, she had been doing the same. She had considered all the variables long and hard, and she knew there was only one that would be practical. That was if she had the guts to even go through with it.

"I..." Clara said, her voice sounding choked once more. "I think I should..." Clara moved back so that she was facing john in the eye, needing to see his reaction to what she said. "Get rid of it." Her last words were a mere whisper, and John knew that she hated the idea.

Once upon a time, Clara would have seen this as the only option, knowing what would happen if she didn't. Besides, all her friends would have done and it seemed practical. But there was something about killing someone else who might mean something to her. Ever since she had lost her Mum, her view on this had been hazy. She hadn't been sure of what she could say, because she wasn't sure if she would be able to bear living through the loss of something else.

John nodded slowly, looking back directly at Clara. He felt relieved that he wouldn't be the one to say it, but they both knew in their hearts that this was the only way they could get on with their lives and move past this easily. "Yeah." John agreed quietly, gripping her hands even tighter than before. "But...you need to know...I will be there with you, _every step of the way_. I'll hold your hand and do anything you need me to."

Clara nodded, grateful that John was such a gentlemen. He had her back, even when he should probably have run away to the mountains and hid. "And if you...change your mind." John continued, making Clara's eyes widen in slight surprise. "I'll still be here to help you." He promised, bringing her into a tight hug.

She closed her eyes as she rested her head on his shoulder, her arms looping back around his body as he rubbed her back soothingly. She had never been grateful for a more loving boyfriend than now.

"I love you." She whispered in his ear, confessing it as if she had never done so before.

"I love you too." He replied, kissing her cheek softly as she clung onto him for what felt like dear life. She needed him with her, whether she felt like he should abandon her or not. She would be lost without him admittedly.

* * *

They had set a date at the clinic for three weeks time. They had tried to get one sooner, but it seemed like there was a waiting list for the NHS, and there was no way they had the right amount of money to go private for it.

She had never felt more relieved that she was already sixteen when she read that some doctors wouldn't perform the termination under that age. She'd been panicking they would ask for her parent's signature, and she wasn't sure she would be able to do that.

Clara wasn't oblivious to just how close and protective John was being. It was clear to almost everyone else too, but they just assumed it was because Clara looked constantly pale and ill. Also because they were both acting weird, so everyone assumed it could be a simple relationship issue they needed to resolve.

But Clara felt more and more paranoid by the minute that everyone knew. No-one was treating her any differently than before, yet she still somehow felt like everyone was glaring at her.

John had assured her that it wasn't the case, but she still felt so vulnerable.

But by the end of the first to weeks of waiting, Clara had made herself sick with worry. She was scared about the abortion. She just felt like she couldn't do it.

She was seven weeks pregnant, yet she somehow felt like the small thing inside of her was already a part of who she was. She could barely explain it, but the more she thought about it, the more it ate away at her thoughts.

She constantly started to wonder what the child would be like in the future, and all the things it wouldn't have if she was to get rid of it. She kept on thinking about her mother, and what her mother would say. Her Mother would have helped her through the pregnancy if she had asked her to.

But her Mum was dead and now she had no-one else who could hold her and tell her it was all okay. That's all she needed right now. Someone who wasn't as divested in this situation as John was, to tell her it would all be okay and that she would be fine.

The worry was what people started to pick up on. In particular, it was her Dad. She had acted strange a lot in recent times, but never quite like this. She just seemed so distant and constantly scared of him. The only other time he had seen her like this was when she had avoided him after the year nine incident, and he found out later that was because she was still talking to the same friends and she feared he would kill her for it.

It was the same fear she was harbouring now. She didn't want to be caught, and she was scared of what her Father's reaction would be if he ever found out. The first thought that came into her mind was that he would beat John with a club to the death. And simply, that thought was enough to make her go completely paranoid.

So when Clara sat down to dinner on the Friday night, one week before her appointment was due, she certainly had not expected her father to stare at her the entire time as if he was trying to work out a puzzle in his head. It was unnerving to say the least, and Clara didn't like it one bit.

She held her breath as she looked down at the chicken on her plate, unsure if she would be able to stand the smell , let alone manage to digest the food without being sick. But her Father, for the first time in what seemed like forever, had demanded they eat at the dinner table. He had mostly done it to see what was bugging Clara. he was afraid she had broken up with John or something, although he seemed to be around at the house every other day still.

Clara stared at the chicken breast for a good five minutes, trying slowly to accept the smell. It was strange how her sense of smell had suddenly become so strong, and she could no longer accept half of them. After a few sniffs, she wanted to shrivel up her nose and cry, but she couldn't. Not in front of her father. He was watching her acutely, and she knew he was.

She took a biter out of her food, managing to slowly swallow it. She started to imagine how much worse her sense of smell would get if she was to carry on the pregnancy. She could see it being awful, along with the never-ending morning sickness. She knew that would not in fact happen, but she was hoping it would so that it would make the decision she had would be so much easier on her part.

Clara waited until Dave had finished his food and taken his plate through to the kitchen to wash it, before she quickly ran to the bin and scraped what was left into it. There was no way her Dad hadn't heard her do it, but it was more polite than saying something along the lines of hating his food. She could tell that he was upset about it still, but Dave was too polite to say anything about it. Especially when his daughter had seemed so ill as of late.

Clara walked into the kitchen to clean off her plate, watching as Dave ran around and washed up a few more random things.

Dave moved to the corner of the room to put on the kettle, before leaning against the counter to try and make some form of casual conversation. "Tea?" He asked, pointing to the mug cupboard as he leaned over to it from his side and pulled out a cup for himself.

"No thank you. Clara mumbled, finishing her plate before leaving it to dry as the water dripped off it. She found her eyes drawn to the sight, the soap from the hot water she had used to wash it, bubbling up and sliding down gently.

"You sure?" Dave asked, but it escaped Clara's attention. She was in another world as her Dad spoke to her. Dave noticed the way his daughter has suddenly frozen up from behind, and he stepped forward to place an arm lightly on her shoulder.

"Clara?" He asked again. In a moment, she had turned to face him, her face seeming paler than before.

"I have to sit down." She said softly, running through into the living room, leaving Dave behind, bewildered. He couldn't understand what on Earth was going on in his daughter's head. She seemed distant and torn away. And there was a pained look in her eye, whenever he caught her glancing into the distance or when she thought he wasn't looking.

He'd only seen her with that look once before, and it was when her Mum had died. It was like something had gone from inside her, or she had lost hope in something. But God only knew what it was Clara had lost now. Dave just knew he had to fix it. Things may have been scratchy between him and his daughter, but that didn't mean he couldn't try.

Dave moved into the living room, finding Clara sat cross-legged on the sofa. She didn't even try to hide the fact that she was staring at the pictures on the mantelpiece opposite her. Dave couldn't quite seem from where he was, but her eyes were fixated on the picture of her Mum holding her as a newborn. She had always seen so much love in that picture, but now all she saw was a mess of so many bad and good possibilities.

Dave moved so that he was sat next to Clara on the sofa, watching as her back slumped over slightly and her face began to seem more and more pained. She was in a world of her own, and Dave felt slightly useless.

But nothing could have prepared him for the moment when his daughter suddenly turned to him and slumped down into his arms, sobbing her heart out.

He had no idea what to do, but he caught her in an instance and pulled her into his chest, rubbing her back soothingly.

"I can't, I can't, I can't." She sobbed, praying for some miracle to try and help her. She couldn't help it anymore. "I can't go through with it, I just _can't._" Her last word was a gasp, a confirmation of what had just fallen out of her mouth.

Dave didn't know what on Earth his child was talking about, but it scared him to see so distraught.

"What do you mean Clara?" He asked gently, trying to find out what she was talking about. He worried that it was John once more, but it didn't seem right with what she was saying.

He gently pushed Clara's shoulder's back, her arms held tight onto his as she leaned on them for support. Her head was hunched over as she tried in desperate gasps to get her tears under control. It was in that moment that Dave decided there was not a sight he would ever not want to see again more than this of his daughter breaking down. She looked so broken and torn, and it truly tore through his heart like a spear.

"I can't get rid of it. I can't, I can't." Clara sobbed, her eyes closing tight as her shoulders heaved once more. She was barely ale to get her words out, heaving for air in between her sobs with a noise that sounded like her throat was closing up. "I _can't_. It's a part of me, I can't do it."

Dave looked over to his girl, watching as she squeezed her eyes tighter, which he was certain would sting with the tears underneath, and she curled over in a protective ball, bringing her legs up to hide her face as she sobbed into her knees.

"What's _it_?" Dave asked, looking at his girl who sounded like she was saying...no. there was no way that she meant _that._ Not Clara. That wouldn't her. "Clara, what's _it_?"

Clara didn't even bother looking up as more sobs racked her body. Dave waited for about a minute, needing to leave her time to get it out.

She felt like her lips were frozen in place as she tried to push the words out. They seemed stuck in her head, unwilling to make an appearance.

"I'm..." Clara wasn't sure the word would ever come out. "Pregnant, Dad."

Dave felt his whole world turn upside down as he heard the words he definitely hadn't expected or wanted to hear.

"What?" he said simply, unsure of how to react. There was no way Clara could be pregnant. He wasn't stupid, he was out of the house enough to know that John and Clara were probably up to things, but he hadn't expected _this _to come of it.

Clara simply sobbed harder, unable to even believe that she had just told her Dad that. He would certainly kill John and probably her too.

"You're _what_?" Dave said angrily, but it didn't seemed to be aimed at her.

"I'm sorry." Clara sobbed into her knees, not daring to look up in fear of the disappointment that would be evident on her Dad's face. "Please don't hate me." She whispered, begging to not lose the only parent she had left.

Dave looked down to his daughter who didn't dare so much as look him in the eye. He quickly pulled her into his arms, rubbing her back softly as she cried even more.

"It'll all be okay. I'll sort this out, it'll be okay." He soothed, allowing her tears to die down a little.

"I wasn't going to keep it. I swear, but..." Clara simply shook her head at what she had already said, and Dave knew what she meant. It hurt him that she felt like he wouldn't want her to keep it. In all honesty, he didn't know how he truly felt about the whole situation, but he knew that he wasn't going to make Clara do something she was distraught over.

"Ssh, it's okay." He hushed, allowing her tears to die down. She cried on him until she felt like she could no more, and then he slowly released her, finally getting a glimpse of her face as she looked up with the most heart-broken expression he had ever witnessed.

"Do you hate me?" She asked, knowing that he was going to give her an honest answer.

And that was the thing that made Dave consider how he truly felt. "No." He said simply, staring at her as she looked shocked. "I'm not over the moon with you right now, but I could never hate you. Not over something like this."

Clara nodded, but she could hear the silent but at the end of sentence. "You hate John, don't you?" She whispered, looking down. She didn't even need his nod of confirmation to know that much.

She felt the sofa dip as her Dad got up, but she didn't even realise what he was doing until she heard the sounds of the keys of a phone being pressed.

In that moment, she panicked knowing who he was going to call. She prayed that they wouldn't be in, but she knew that there was no way they wouldn't. It was a Friday night, and they were always in on Fridays.

She heard Dinah on the other end of the receiver, and she panicked, looking to her Dad who had his back faced to her. Her heart began to race, and she panicked about what her Dad would say.

"Hello, Dinah? It's Dave, Clara's Dad." He introduced, making Clara's skin shiver as her breathing picked up. She wanted to scream at him, but she couldn't find any way to move off the couch.

She barely heard the other end of the line before Dave spoke again. "Hi, we have an issue at my house to do with your son. Would you be able to come over here immediately?"

Clara shook her head, knowing that he was going to blow up on John. "No, Dad, please don't!" She begged, but he ignored her as she realised he wasn't being talked out it.

She reached into the pocket of the hoody she was wearing, pulling out her phone quickly. She jumped off the sofa, running to the window and dialling John's number as fast as she could.

He answered on the second ring, which she was grateful for, and she took no time in speaking. He could hear from his end that she was in a panic, and it generally scared him.

Dave was hanging up the phone on his end, and Clara felt like she was being rushed. "I'm sorry." She managed to choke down the phone, making John confused. "I didn't mean to..."

Clara could feel Dave standing behind her, angry for warning John. But she could tell immediately that John knew what this would be about, because Dinah was in his bedroom door asking him what he'd done, because she had been told to go to Clara's house urgently.

Clara hung up the phone quickly, turning to around to face her Dad who looked angry again. She didn't know what to say to him as she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to turn into a tiny ball that might shrink away from the rest of the world.

* * *

"What did you do?" Dinah laughed as they got out of the car at Clara's house, John knowing exactly what was about to come in a few minutes. And for one thing, she certainly would not be laughing.

They knocked on the door, and they barely had to wait a second before Dave had answered it.

Dinah was very aware that he looked flaming, but as she had never met this man before, he could tell he was trying to somehow not lash out at something.

"Hi, you called?" She said politely, extending her hand to shake. Dave took it politely, shaking it gently and stepping aside for them to walk in.

"Yes." He said simply, unsure of how not to lash out when he saw John's pale face behind Dinah, avoiding his eye sight.

John could see Clara in the corridor, leaning against the wall, her eyes red raw and her cheeks were puffy from the tears.

She looked up the moment she saw him, half in relief and half in fear. They both looked like they were about to get shot, and Dinah noticed. She had never seen Clara looking so upset. It was a disturbing sight, but not as bad as the one on her son's face, which said he clearly knew why she was crying and he was scared too.

John saw Clara's nose twitch, which he had learnt was the first sign she was going to cry. He took a few steps forward, walking towards her to hold her, but he was stopped in his path by a large hand on his chest.

Dave faced him angrily, staring John in the face. "Don't you dare go near my daughter." He threatened menacingly.

Clara stood up straight from where she was in the room, moving towards them. "Dad, stop it." She begged, her voice sounding strained and upset. Her tears were filling her eyes once more. "Dad!"

"Excuse me?" Came a loud voice from behind, but John continued to be tense even then. "How dare you speak to my son like that?" She accused, angry at this man she had never met. The door behind them shut with a thud as Dinah walked further into the corridor.

"Mum, leave it." John mumbled, knowing full well that she wouldn't be siding with him in a moment.

But she carried on, ignoring her son's quiet plea. "Just because you know him, doesn't mean you have a right to..."

"Do you know what your son has done?" Dave asked simply, facing her eye-to-eye.

Dinah stood still, looking to John in confusion. He was a good boy, so she doubted he would have ever done anything bad. At least, she hoped.

"He _impregnated_ my _daughter_!" Dave shouted angrily, thumping John hard on the chest as he grabbed the back of his shirt and held him forward angrily.

"Dad!" Clara screamed out, grabbing the back of his shirt in an attempt to pull him away from John. She'd never seen him hit anyone before, but she figured he was very close to doing so.

"Is this true?" Dinah asked John, watching as he cowered away from the man that seemed ready to kill him.

John didn't even need to say anything. The way he bowed his head was enough to let Dinah know it was true.

"You didn't." She said in disbelief, walking over to John, grabbing him by the neck and pulling him away from Dave. "You. Did. What?" Dinah shouted, making John fear his life even more.

"He got her pregnant." Dave butted in, sounding more angry than ever, but it was more laid back now. In some ways, that made it so much scarier. "And then, he expected her to get rid of it. So I have to deal with my daughter crying, saying that she can't, because of _this_ little twat!"

His last words were emphasised with him coming up behind John and grabbing the back of shirt once more. And the worst part was, Dinah didn't even bother trying to stop him.

"It wasn't like that, Dad, please!" Clara screamed, running over to them to pull her father's hand away from John. She managed to release his grip, pulling John into her arms as she gave up on even trying to maintain any form of composure.

"_I _was the one who chose to get rid of it. It was_ me._ John didn't do anything." She said softly, looking her Dad in the eye. Dave instantly looked at her, confused by what this meant then. "Which is why I realised I couldn't do it. You know, if John had asked me to then I would have. But he didn't. He told me that he would just help me, and that it was _my_ choice. He didn't even _ask_ for a say in it Dad. He just promised to be there, no matter what."

For the first time in a few minutes, the room was silent as Dave and Clara stared each other in the eye. Clara was holding John's hand tight, not letting go. He was the only thing stopping her from running away, and she needed to make sure that she didn't.

Dave slowly accepted what his daughter had said, and slowly began to walk away.

Clara and John were both tense even so, and with good reason to be. Because it only took two seconds before Dave had turned back around and socked John in the jaw.

John's mind went hazy from the impact. He vaguely heard his Mum saying that it had been unnecessary, and Clara's screams at her Father as his mind tried to re-concentrate.

"Are you crazy?" Clara screamed, punching her Dad hard in the chest. "How would you like it if I. Punched. You?" Each word was emphasised with a hard whack to any part of her Dad's body.

He didn't seem to be complaining, which made Clara continue on. "How would you like it if I kick you in the nuts? Not like you need them for anything anymore, huh? No fucking use for them, so I should just..." John quickly grabbed onto Clara as she attempted to kick her father, knowing she would regret that later.

John waited for Clara to visibly relax more, allowing Dave to move away. He had been the end of the Clara's punches once or twice before, and as much as he didn't in this moment, he pitied the man slightly.

Clara turned around to face John, looking at the swollen skin on john's right jaw. "That looks really bad." She murmured, bringing up a hand to lightly touch his bruise.

He winced at the pain and she grimaced. "We'll have to get you some ice on that." She mumbled, taking his hand and walking him through into the kitchen.

Weirdly enough, the adults seemed to go in the opposite direction into the living room, leaving them alone for a few minutes. Clara quickly walked to her freezer and pulled out a full bag of peas. John was resting against the counter, waiting sorrowfully.

Clara moved over to him, the peas in her hand. She very gently raised it up to his jaw, lightly touching it at first. "Sorry." She mumbled as he winced the first time, but allowing her to put it back again. "It might sting for a bit, but it should numb it down." She said softly, watching as John looked back down to the floor.

He soon took it off her, holding it himself as he thanked her gently. She moved to stand beside him against the counter, looking down to her feet.

"I'm sorry he did that." She mumbled, her voice no longer as cracked as before. "It's not your fault, he had no right."

John shook his head slowly, wincing again as he pressed too hard against his jaw. "No, he did. I don't blame him. I would have done the same." John said, trying his best to sound light-hearted.

The silence wallowed over them as they tried to bring up the most urgent thing. "Do you want to keep it?" John suddenly spoke up, looking down to Clara.

She shrugged her shoulders, looking nervous once more. "It's not that I want to keep it, it's that I'm not sure if I can get rid of it. It would be easier if I just lost it. then it wouldn't be my fault."

John nodded, understanding what she meant by that, even though it was hard for him to hear. He imagined it was the closest thing to saying "Neither" in this situation.

"You don't have to, you know?" John asked, making her look up to him. "No-one says you have to do anything you don't want to."

The real question was hung in the air now. _But would you help me with the baby if I choose to bring it to term?_

John made sure she was looking at him when he said honestly, "And if you keep it, I will be there for you. I will be whatever you need me to be."

Clara nodded, remembering the promise he had made a few weeks ago. If she had known it would end up like this, she would have definitely made sure she held him to it.

They didn't need to say much more after that. Clara knew that it was back in her hands once more, and John would only support her in any way he could. Sometimes he just wished he would be selfish and asked for her to do one thing, so she could make an easier choice.

They slowly made their way through to the living room, finding Dave and Dinah already sat in chairs on opposite ends of the room, conveniently leaving the sofa for Clara and John. They both knew that this was probably purposeful, but they were happy that they weren't making them sit apart.

"So?" Dave asked quietly, watching as Clara looked over to John. She was holding his hand tight, but she gave it an even tighter squeeze for a moment, as if to reassure him. He still had the ice pack on his jaw, and Dave had to admit that he was beginning to feel sorry for the boy. He'd only ever been nice to him after all.

"We don't know how this happened." Clara mumbled, looking up at her Dad honestly. Now all the tears were gone, she was able to finally speak without blowing up. "We were careful. And we only did it a few times. I mean..."

She looked down to the floor, embarrassed that she was saying this to her father. This was like her worst nightmare, magnified.

"We used protection." John finished off, looking down to the floor to avoid Dinah's gaze. He knew that it would be nothing if not hurt that he had betrayed her in some way. He knew that she wanted him to be a perfect student and become rich and successful, and this was far from that. "Something must have gone wrong."

"Clearly." Dinah said, her voice crisp and icy. She had always loved Clara, but right now she was mad. She recalled Amy once telling her that Clara would use and manipulate john because she was "that kind of girl" and she had never believed it. But even now, when this clearly wasn't the case, she felt herself remembering those words.

"It's not like it was illegal. We're nearly seventeen..." Clara began, looking up to her Dad. but she stopped when she saw his glare.

"How far along are you?" Dinah asked Clara, making her turn to face the woman for the first time. Even though Dinah was a mother, she had never had children of her own.

Clara suddenly felt so alone in this room, and it made her feel slightly uncomfortable. "Seven weeks." She murmured, looking down to the floor. "At least, I took a test last week that said I was six. So, I'm just guessing."

The silence drowned over them and Dave took a heavy breath before taking his turn to ask them something else. "How long have you two known?" His breath was heavy after he spoke, and he knew that he would probably not like the answer.

"Two weeks." John and Clara mumbled, at different points, but the answer was clear. Both parents in the room sighed at the answer, and they both sagged their shoulders.

Every parent would like to think that they are extremely close to their child, but both adults knew in this moment that they weren't as much as they would like to be. It's the awful realisation that every parents will one day come across, but it didn't seem like it would be so abrupt.

"I thought you wouldn't get into any more messes Clara." Dave groaned, watching as she gave him an icy glare. "Not since year nine. You promised that you wouldn't..."

"Well, I slipped up. How about that?" Clara snapped back, making it clear that she didn't not appreciate his comment. "Would you have preferred it been _that_ instead?" She asked honestly, looking him in the eye.

She knew that he wouldn't, and he shook his head slowly as she raised her arms up in defence. "I rest my case." She mumbled, ignoring the confused look from John on her right as she continued to stare at her Dad.

She waited a long few moments before looking back up, moving closer to John so he could put his arm around her shoulder comfortingly. "I'm going to have it." She told the room, watching as they all took in that news. But she was most interested about John, who remained calm and simply held her tighter.

"And...I don't know if I will keep it when it's born, or give it away, but...I just can't get rid of it. Not now." Clara took a deep breath, relieved to see that no-one was putting up an objection.

John pulled her gently into his chest and kissed her forehead lovingly, softly smiling down at her in a way that only John could.

Whatever the parents had to say was lost, when they saw the way their children were so comfortable together. If anyone could do this at their age, it was them. The problem was, could they cope with the consequences?

* * *

Clara waited at the end of her Chemistry class on Monday. She had told John to go ahead without her, leaving her a moment to quickly ask some help of Mr Simons.

She felt nervous as she walked to the front of the room, her books still in hand as she approached him.

"Clara!" He exclaimed happily, watching as she gently smiled back. "What can I do for you today?" He asked cheerily, in his usual manner.

"Um..." Clara began, unsure if this would even be a good idea. "I was wondering...do you have a wife?" She suddenly blurted out, her eyes going wide at how rude she felt saying that.

"Yes." Mr Simons laughed, allowing her to relax a little.

"And...children?" She continued, watching as he looked at her in confusion.

"Yeah, I have a son and a daughter." He said simply, watching this girl, not knowing what to make of that. He knew Clara well, but she had never been curious about his life too much before. He knew he must have mentioned his family in passing, but she was double-checking.

"I was wondering if..." She continued, looking down to the floor. "If I would be able to talk to you wife?" She mumbled.

Sir's eyes widened as he moved slowly towards Clara. "Um, I'm not sure that's entirely allowed." He asked simply, watching as Clara bit her lip softly.

"I just needed to ask her something." Clara mumbled, looking away. "Sorry, it was stupid of me to ask."

She began to move towards the door, but felt her arm being grabbed by her teacher as she turned back to face him. "What was it you needed to ask? I can do it for you?"

Clara knew in that moment that she should never have bothered. She had been looking around for advice about pregnancies. She knew no-one who could help her, and all the websites were crappy. And Dinah had never given birth, so she couldn't help, and he Dad was...well, her Dad.

"It doesn't matter. Just a girl thing." Clara mumbled, looking up to Sir with a sorry smile. "I shouldn't have bothered you..."

"No, are you sure?" He interrupted, suddenly remembering that Clara might need a motherly figure in her life. He guessed that was probably what she needed.

Clara looked to the floor for a moment before looking back up. "Yeah." She finally decided. He couldn't help but noticed how terrified she suddenly looked. "Yeah, I'm sure."


	4. Month 3

**Oh My Gosh, I am extremely sorry for the long wait! I've been writing in bits because I've just been so exhausted all the time! I really owe the lot of you for putting up with me and not unfollowing. And to all those who I promised certain days for updates, wow my promises are badly kept! I apologise profusely!**

**Thanks to Kosovaheartland who, not only put up with my moaning for weeks on this, but I think I gave you a cold/small illness. Sorry! This is my show of gratitude and apology so it feels cooler!**

**To all those who messages me on tumblr, thank you- feel free to tell me to hurry up any time (This is serious, feel free to tell me to get my arse in gear).**

**Please, please, pretty please, please review. I can see you guys are reading and I feel awful for asking, but when you don't get many it's saddening and they definitely make me write ten times faster. So please tell me what you think and leave a message- they're much appreciated! **

**- OhMyStarsShiz xoxo**

* * *

_"We are pirates at sea with the world at our feet, sailing on waves made of stars"_

Clara had never really thought about the stars too much before. She hated physics, so she found no appeal in the scientific facts too much.

But there was something about the way they were shining this one particular night. It was something in the way they were all scattered around randomly, some shining brighter than the others in small and big constellations.

There was something so beautiful about these tiny lights that lit up the dark skies. For once, they were not being concealed by the clouds and hidden away; they were out there for everyone to take a look at.

In all honesty, stars are more a symbolic thing then anything actually literal. They re always portrayed in stories and books as these things of wonder that guide people through the night, but they're not really that way. The truth is, they're hundreds of balls of gas that probably existed four billion years ago and are actually the equivalent to what we call the sun. They are the heat and gravity source for millions of other solar systems across the Universe.

And the light that we actually see shining down on us was actually emitted when the dinosaurs were probably around. So, if you truly think about those stars, it's almost like it was time travel. Looking at a star is like looking into the past.

And one you take that into account, thousands of other things can be calculated and theorised, and suddenly the beauty of that idea is destroyed by science once more.

But then you have to think about what those stars will probably be now. They will not be the beautiful light that we want them to be and we think of them as. They will be a massive vacuum, killing and consuming all life and things around it. The whole fabric of reality is absorbed into the nothingness. There is nothing inside a black hole but the void.

And so, if there is nothing but void inside the black hole, what is it that's in there? Because there must be something in there, but that would say that the nothing is in fact a something that exists. Because there can't simply be _nothing_ there. Because the nothing would have to be something for that space to exist.

And suddenly, once again, these beautiful things that humans have symbolised and looked upon for thousands of years is once again ruined by facts and hypothesis.

And that's the same as life. Because, as much as you still want to believe that those stars are beautiful, you now know the truth and it will never be the same for you ever again. So, when you try and pretend that the situation is actually nice and going to be okay, you have to think about all the down sides to it. What the truth really is, and how distorted your perception actually is.

Clara looked out of her window to the stars once more. She didn't know why she'd been doing it. Maybe hoping for some kind of miracle that will come and save her, even though she knew that it wasn't going to happen.

A small beep started sounding from the alarm clock by her bed, and Clara smiled for small second before looking out the sky again.

It was three minutes past one, the exact time which she had measured carefully. "Happy Birthday John." She whispered softly, smiling as she leaned down to her side to pick up her phone and send the message that had been pre-typed.

She hoped he would get it soon, knowing that he'd probably be awake waiting for it.

She had begged Dinah to let him stay the night at hers, but since they had school the next day, all parents involved in the discussion firmly declined.

John sat up in bed slowly, looking over to his phone that had just gone off. He didn't even have to look at the screen to know who it was from. Who else would send him a text at the exact right time?

_Happy Birthday John. Have the most amazing day and a year filled with lots of love and happiness and all things good. I love you lots, Clara xxx_

John's face lit up with a broad smile as he read through the message several times, extremely honoured that she'd chosen to stay up.

He quickly clicked on Clara's contact and lightly chuckled at the contact picture she'd set for herself. He hadn't even been paying attention when she did it. She had been pulling a rather terrifying face, and it had really scared John the first time she called and it popped up, but now he simply found it adorable. It made him laugh when people asked if she was his girlfriend, and he proudly showed them the funny picture.

It was a nice side to Clara that John only ever saw every-so-often nowadays. Everything was just a little too tense in their households to actually have fun, and that wasn't even mentioning the tension between the two of them as it was.

John pressed the dial button, and patiently waited for Clara to pick up on the third ring.

"Happy Birthday?" Clara whispered, a smile evident on her face, even down the line.

"Thank you." John replied happily, whispering in return so that Dinah wouldn't come in and shriek at them for calling at such a ridiculous hour.

"How are you feeling? Seventeen?" Clara teased. He knew that she would be biting her lip in that moment and probably playing with her spare fingers as she lay on her bed, in true Clara fashion. He loved that he knew her well enough by know that he could visualise her actions in his head.

"No way." He chuckled in reply. "I still feel thirteen sometimes, and then at others, I feel twenty-five. Doesn't feel like I've miraculously changed overnight or something creepy like that."

Clara giggled and paused for a moment, allowing them both to smile before speaking again. "You're a whole year older than me." She laughed.

"Not technically..." John began, preparing to explain all the reasons why, but Clara simply giggled once more.

"You are, idiot. Just don't say anything. Kills my clever lines." She laughed.

"But I like killing clever lines, because I'm even smarter!" John teased, looking over his shoulder to his doorway to check Dinah hadn't woken.

"No you're not dipshit." Clara teased, smiling as she said each word.

"You're not meant to offend the birthday boy!" He gasped back, hearing the small giggles down the line that Clara couldn't hold in.

"Yes I can. It's my job to." She mused, pursing her lips to make John smile even more.

"True." John agreed lightly, thinking about just how much that statement was true, and boy, if he didn't love her all the more for it. "Thanks for staying up for me." He mumbled lovingly, smiling through his words.

"No problem." She replied sweetly, the silence an actual comfort to the both of them.

They sat through the quiet for a while, both liking the idea that they were simply next to one another in some form.

"I better go." Clara suddenly whispered, making john's heart drop slightly, even though his good mood was not tainted too much. "Don't want to wake my Dad."

John hummed in agreement. "Yeah, me too."

They had another small silence, where neither of them said nothing. They weren't too willing to hang up though.

"I love you so much." John suddenly mumbled. "I love you more than anything. You and the..."

They hadn't actually said the word properly yet. Not in those terms at least. They'd not straight out said that they loved the _baby_. Clara had even called it a thing once or twice now, which had made John worried, but neither had been too eager to confirm it's presence in their lives. Not yet anyway.

"I know, I do." Clara replied back, cutting him off early so he wouldn't need to stumble awkwardly for words. This as probably the most they'd even properly breached the subject in a few weeks. Even though it was staring them in the face, it was like taboo to be mentioned.

"I love you too." Clara replied. "And more than ever today birthday boy...especially if you give me cake."

John laughed slightly out loud, his hand clasping over his mouth as he hoped Dinah hadn't woken. "That's right, steal all _my_ cake." He laughed.

"That's the only reason we're going out...duh." Clara teased, giggling again. Down the phone it was slightly muffled, but John still believed that it was one of the most glorious sounds to have ever been heard by mankind.

"You do know I love you, right?" John laughed, making Clara tut in annoyance.

"Of course I do. Now get your arse off this line before Dinah kills you." She smiled.

"Yes Ma'am." John mumbled.

They both waited a few moments before Clara took a deep breath. "Are you going to hang up or what?" She said tiredly, knowing what hr answer would be.

"Not before you." He smiled, making her grin too.

"Well, I won't first." She replied stubbornly.

"Me neither." He mumbled back.

They both waited once more, the silence beginning to make them giggle.

"Hang up!" Clara insisted, trying to make him give in.

"You!" He replied back, refusing to stand down from his point.

"Are we really going to do this? Act like lovesick teenagers?" Clara groaned.

"We _are_ lovesick teenagers." John reminded her, making her humph in annoyance. "Or at least you are." He added on, knowing that her mouth would be open in shock offense if he was next to her.

"That's it, I can't be bothered with you loser. I'm hanging up." She declared, half laughing to herself.

"Okay." John accepted knowing that she was hoping for a bigger response from him. When she realised she wouldn't get in, she finally gave in.

"Have a great birthday loser. See you at school. Now piss off to sleep." She laughed, putting the phone down and sighing from happiness as her heart beat slowed down slightly.

John laughed as he put down his phone, lying back down into bed. He managed to pretended to be fast asleep when Dinah came in to see if he was awake. Maybe he hadn't been as quiet as he'd though after all.

* * *

Since things had changed for Clara, she'd begun to get more and more impatient with Nina and Kelsey. She hated the way they laughed about things like how many guys they'd had sex with and how they'd probably be pregnant soon enough. They thought that whole idea was hilarious and cool, but they had no idea just how horrible it really was. It may have sounded cool and fun to them to have a kid by the time they're twenty-one, but to Clara it was the exact opposite. She'd never realised just how different she was from them before.

She was sat with them at one of the tables in the sixth form lounge. She'd barely eaten a single one of her chips, picking them up with her fingers every so often and dropping them back down again. The grease on them made her stomach churn, but she felt like she couldn't excuse herself to go to the toilet yet again, so she was ignoring the disgusting food she'd bought for some reason.

"I don't get it Clara." Nina suddenly said out of the blue, drinking some of her coke.

"Get what?" Clara sulked, not really paying attention as she looked at the slimy chips once more. No, they would definitely end up in the bin within the next ten minutes.

"Why you choose to hang around with _them_." She moaned, moving her head to her right. Who she was referring to was pretty obvious as Amy, Rory and John all walked by after getting their lunch. John smiled at Clara as he passed and she smiled back, leaving him be with his friends. She always felt sorry for them that they would also have to put up with her annoying ones. "I mean, yeah he's your boyfriend, but you could do so much better."

Clara snapped her head up and squinted her eyes. "What?" She said simply, suddenly focusing on something other than the table and the food.

"I'm just saying, he's a bit of freak in case haven't noticed. Just date someone like Kyle." Nina mumbled, taking another sip from her coke as she saw Clara stare at her in disbelief. Clara had been known to shout before, but her mood swings were definitely not going to be to Nina's advantage this day, and Clara was not about to hesitate on getting mad if she didn't shut up very quickly.

"Say that again." Clara warned lowly, staring her in the eye as Kelsey looked up to join in.

"Come off it Clara." Kelsey mumbled, knowing that there was about to be a full range explosion from her if Nina didn't apologise. And no-one really wanted that, especially since the entire room would most likely take Clara's side. All those that the two of them hadn't fucked anyway.

"Shut up Kels." Clara snapped, her eyes remaining focused on Nina who was now squinting her eyes back in return.

"You heard me." Nina said defensively. "I just don't understand why you like someone who's face is basically asking for a dunk down the toilet. It's bringing your popularity down by a mile."

Clara ground her teeth together, fists clenching as she slammed one down hard on the table. "Like you know anything about guys!" She shrieked, making the whole room turn silent as they turned around to watch what was going on. Kelsey went visibly pink, but Nina didn't back down.

"You've only fucked the one!" Nina shouted back.

Clara stood up from the table, the chair she was sat on making as loud screech as it ground against the squeaky floors. "At least I'm not a whore! You think you're so amazing and cool because you take stupid risks that will end your life, but you're not! You're a mental case!" Clara shouted in frustration.

Nina's shock was evident on her face. "Woah, where the hell did this come from?" She stood up too, facing Clara as everyone around leaned in some more to find out what the argument was about. "I simply said your boyfriend's weird. Everyone can see that! Then you go all psycho on me!"

Clara turned to her side to see John wide-eyed in shock. He clearly had no idea what was going on, but there was no way Clara was backing down now.

"I'm just fed up of your crap!" Clara shouted back. "Making the whole world feel like shit unless they do what you want and say!"

Nina rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Oh stop it with the whole "I'm Mummy's perfect little girl act" Clara! All the shit in your life is not _our_ fault. You pretend to be so perfect, getting away with all the crap you do. You even blamed us, when you chose to take that damn drug! Stop the crap!"

Clara waited a few moments in anger, biting her lip as she slowly picked up her tray of chips. "Here." She smiled hatefully. "See if these can make you look any prettier." She threw the greasy chips at Nina's face, making everyone around gasp. "I'm sure that's a much better improvement." She snarled, before quickly running out of the room.

The commotion inside soon died down, but John was out of his seat in seconds, to no objections from Amy and Rory, following Clara as she ran into the girls bathrooms No-one ever really used them, so he felt no hesitation in going in.

She was facing the mirror as he opened the door, water dripping down her face that she had just splashed there.

She jumped when she saw him in the mirror and turned around quickly to face him, grabbing a hold of the counter next to it. She looked at him softly before turning back to the sink and splashing her face once more.

Only as John began to approach Clara, did he notice the reds brimming her eyes as she tried her hardest to fight off tears. In a moment his arm was around her, and he was pulling her into his chest to gently let the tears slide. It was better to let them out than to try to hold them in when you truly felt like dying inside.

"I'm sorry." Clara mumbled, sniffling into his chest as her last tear fell. "You shouldn't have to do this, I'm just really emotional at the moment."

He rubbed her back soothingly, smiling to himself. "It's my job to. Besides, she said some horrible things."

"I threw my chips at her." Clara pointed out. John simply shrugged and it made Clara giggle.

"She probably deserved it. I'm not too sure what she was talking about but..." John mumbled the last part to himself, making Clara take a deep breath. He'd obviously heard things about Nina and Kelsey from Dave a few times, and a few mentions of "year nine" as if it were forbidden to say. She felt awful for keeping him in the dark over something so stupid, but she'd never felt it would be right to tell him. At first she had been scared of what he'd think, but there wasn't really much left for him to have an opinion about her on anymore.

"I can't believe she chose to bring that up." Clara mumbled, leaning back to look John in the eye. He understood that this was her time to talk and he chose to stay quiet, offering her a small smile of comfort.

"Back then, I was so stupid. It's something ridiculous really. In year nine, I went with them to this party. There was alcohol and I got pissed, and...someone offered me some drugs. Very long story short, I took them, I went mental and next thing I know I'm in hospital after almost attacking my Mum and nearly dying."

She may have spoke quickly into her shirt, but it was enough to shock John. He wasn't hurt by the fact she hadn't told him in any way, he just simply hadn't really expected it.

"So yeah, my parents blamed _them_ when they told school, even though I said it was my choice. But, that's why Mr Simons chose to help me out and stuff. My Mum really hated those two."

John nodded softly, opening his arms up again for her to fall into. "I don't care, you know?" He mumbled. "As long as you're safe and not going to do it again, it doesn't bother me at all."

Clara squeezed him slightly tighter for a moment, emphasising how much that meant to her.

"Oh, believe me, I never will. That kind of thing puts you off for life." She sighed, laughing it off slightly.

"I bet it did." John smiled back, shaking her slightly so she would smile too. They broke apart, looking at each other as they both shrugged their shoulders.

"So...we good?" Clara asked softly.

"Course." John said simply, as if nothing in the world were a problem. "As long as you don't think I'm a freak like Nina does. Because that would be slightly damaging to my very big ego which..."

She cut him off with a chaste kiss. "You can always deal with my mood swings perfectly, can't you?" She teased as she moved her lips away, stepping back the tiniest bit.

"That's just because I'm perfect." He smiled back, making her laugh once more.

"Ignore Nina, she's just a bitch when she wants to be. I'll apologise later for the chips." Clara smiled, shaking her head in annoyance at herself for being so emotional.

"Yeah, you might need to compensate for the shirt."

Clara covered her mouth as she laughed, unable to keep even a remotely straight face at that. "I love you no matter what." Clara smiled, making him nod his head in acceptance.

He kissed her forehead gently in the silence, before beginning to leave the bathroom.

"John!" Clara suddenly called, making him stop and turn to face her.

"Yeah?" He asked softly, stepping back towards her.

She looked down to the floor, fidgeting with her hands as she struggled to find the right words to say. "Well...Would you...I mean, can you skip school with me next Thursday?"

"Skip...Sch...why?" John mumbled, confusion overriding his thoughts as he lowered his eyebrows questioningly.

"I booked my..." Clara racked her brain for the appropriate word to use. "Appointment," She finally chose, "With the Doctor for Thursday morning. And...I would really like you to be there." She stared at the shape of the floorboards, not wanting to look at John as he took two small steps towards her.

He lifted her head gently so she would look into his eyes and he nodded carefully. "Of course. You don't even need to ask Clara."

She took a deep breath and nodded gratefully. "And..." She began quickly, making his head snap up once more. "Could you please not mention it to my Dad? I kind of told him it was for Saturday. I just...I don't really want him there with me." Clara mumbled, looking somewhat ashamed. "It would just remind me how disappointed he is with me."

"And I highly doubt he would like me being there either." John mumbled, wincing slightly at the thought. Dave hadn't hit him in the face since the first time, but he was highly sure the want to was still there. In all honesty, Dave had been great allowing John over. He was there almost every evening after school, talking with her like a good boyfriend would and helping her out. John guessed that Dave secretly had a lot of respect for him, despite the circumstances, but as any Dad would be, he clearly wasn't past the line of loathing towards the teen quite yet. After all, John had knocked up his daughter. It's not usually something a Father takes lightly.

"No." Clara agreed awkwardly, looking back up to him. "So I just thought he could find out Thursday night. He probably won't be too angry. In all honesty, I think he's expecting it."

"Yeah, yeah I guess." John mumbled. The gap between them suddenly felt like it actually meant something, when it hadn't a few moments before. John took two steps forward, enveloping Clara in his arms.

She rested her head on his chest, appreciating the small gesture. "Thank you." She whispered into his shirt, leaning up after a few seconds to give him a small peck on the lips.

She then moved away, leaving the bathroom slowly. John waited a few moments before he realised he should probably get out, in case anyone thoughts he was weird for being in the girls' bathroom.

* * *

Clara was stood by the bus stop, just as she said she would be. John didn't really expect much less though. They'd begun walking to school together in the mornings, so it wasn't really an unusual sight.

Only thing that was different was that they're were going to get a different bus so they could go to the hospital. John could see that Clara was nervous from a distance.

He felt scared too. She was already at twelve weeks. There was no turning back from here. This was her way of accepting the full extent of the reality. She had been managing to brush it under the carpet, simply because no-one could really tell that she was pregnant at all. It's not like it showed, and she'd never been the one to wear tight clothes in the first place.

The only thing that was really noticeable was the sickness and the eating. Dave had already been through several bouts of Clara asking for a certain thing and then having to throw it out and make something else. He obliged without complaining, no matter how many times she apologised over it. She must have had double meals for at least two weeks, simply because her stomach and nose refused to agree with each other.

John smiled at her as he made his way to the bus stop. It wasn't a particularly nice day, the drizzling rain mixed with the cold breeze made it feel dismal and depressing. In John's opinion, this was the worst weather. When the sky was grey and there was no sign of sun anywhere, the cold nipping your skin as tiny pieces of droplets fell down onto your skin, tearing away from the clouds, layers at a time.

It always made him feel quite saddened, and he would have been lying if he said that simply Clara's small smile didn't make his day seem so much brighter than it had been five seconds before.

It put a small spring in his step, reaching Clara sooner than before with a small smile on his face. She gave him an unsure face in return and he took no hesitation in pulling her into a soft hug, rubbing her back soothingly as he kissed her forehead.

"It'll be fine Clara." He promised, trying to make her feel like she shouldn't be scared.

So far they had been referring to the baby as "The issue" or "the thing." Simply, it was the one subject they didn't talk about. No-one said _baby_. Not ever. But this would show them that.

"I know. I'm just...what if I don't love it? Like how you're meant to at first sight. You know, in the movies?" She whispered, looking back up at him for answers. He took a small breath, but her eyes didn't divert from his face.

"Clara, I know you will love it, no matter what." John mumbled, not even sure himself. They both bore a small amount of hatred for the situation, they would have been lying to say the didn't. Anyone in their position would. This would be the end of everything but at the same time, it was the start of something else. And no-one knew which one you weren't meant to dwell on. If they were six years older, people would be rejoicing, but they're not so people are pitying them.

"I...I know." She mumbled, keeping her arms wrapped around John's chest as he was warm, and it was pretty cold outside.

"You know what day it is tomorrow?" John smiled gently, changing the subject stealthily after a long pause.

"What?" Clara asked, intrigued to hear. John raised his eyebrows at her, shocked she had no idea. She shrugged in return, giggling in confusion.

"Look around!" John exclaimed happily, pointing around the street.

Clara peeped her head around, confused as to what on Earth he was talking about. "I'm confused." She said simply, looking back up to him.

He lowered his eyebrows and rolled his eyes. "It's Halloween tomorrow." He smiled, making her open her mouth in quick realisation.

"Oh yeah, it is isn't it?" She laughed, smiling at him.

"So..." John began, looking unsure. "What are you doing tomorrow night, and before you say anything, I'm not suggesting we go trick or treating!" He added in, seeing Clara's eyebrows raise in disapproval.

"I was invited to a party which I was considering going to..." Clara started, before seeing John's face. They both knew that she probably shouldn't go. She had apologised to Nina for the chips incident very soon after, but everyone knew Nina was simply waiting to get her back. And none of them would be overly-shocked if she spiked a drink or two. Clara usually wouldn't have cared, but things were slightly different now. Nina didn't mean it in a bad way, but she just wanted to prove Clara wrong.

"But...I think I'll just stay in. You know, have a nice sleep." Clara smiled, making John smile too.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I guess that I shouldn't disturb you then." He teased, making her giggle.

"Oi you! No way are you not sleeping with me. Halloween alone is a nightmare." She smiled, making John grin too.

"Fine, bossy." He laughed back, prodding her on the nose teasingly.

"And you love it." Clara argued, prodding John's chest in return. He opened his mouth to come up with some start-ass reply, but he just simply closed it again and shrugged.

"That is true." He smiled back, pulling Clara back into their hug which had slightly departed during their conversation.

* * *

If hospitals could feel more daunting than usual, the waiting room in this one definitely made it. Clara could feel the eyes of the nurses around on her and she wanted more than anything to tell them to fuck off, but she knew they would simply call her even more of a child then. Even then, it wasn't really worth it. She'd have to get used to people judging her for no reason.

John was holding Clara's hands, gripping it tighter whenever he heard a horrible whisper from someone. She appreciated it very much, even though she knew it was probably the only way he was stopping himself from going over to them and giving them a piece of his mind.

The floors were a disgusting green that made you feel sick, and the walls were plastered with leaflets about being a parent that would make any mother of any age want to vomit from tackiness. And just to add to the horrible place, the seats were uncomfortable too. Clara imagined that they were often far too busy in there to bother with decent decoration. It would be kind of nice to actually change the atmosphere a bit.

"Clara Oswald?" Her name was called from one of the rooms on the right, and Clara half-jumped out of her skin as she snapped out of her own small thoughts.

"Ready?" John mumbled softly upon seeing her scared reaction. She took a few moments to look down to the floor, closing her eyes to breathe.

"As I'll ever be." She replied, knowing that was about as honest as she would be able to get.

John carried on holding her hand as she stood up, taking small paces towards the woman who was stood in the doorway. She smiled kindly at the young teenagers, holding the door open for them as they walked in.

They both greeted her kindly on the way in, not wanting to seem rude. Clara moved to the corner of the room, crossing her arms as she stood awkwardly. John moved next to her, not quite sure of what to do.

"Clara, is it?" The woman asked gently, looking up from her notes that she was holding to smile at her. "Would you come over here for me?"

Clara took a small breath before making her way over, sitting down on a chair where she was signalled to sit on. "I'm just going to talk to you alone for a moment." She said softly, drawing a curtain around where they were sat.

Clara knew that it wouldn't actually provide any sound-proofing for them, but it did make her feel slightly better.

"So.." The woman began, smiling at Clara again to put her at ease. "How far along do you think you are?"

Clara bit her lip nervously. "Twelve weeks." She mumbled, fiddling with her fingers on her lap.

"Okay...And, could you tell me when your last period was?" She picked up a pen on her desk to write down on her notes sheets.

Clara counted it back in her head, "Um...Middle of July I'd say. I can't remember the exact date. I haven't...I mean, I never needed to..." Clara cut her words off quickly, knowing she was stumbling.

"It's fine." The woman smiled, writing down more things. "And is it the father who accompanies you here today?"

Clara nodded quickly. She sat idly for a few more moments in the silence, listening for the sound of breathing from the other side of the curtain. She was shocked at how quiet John was being.

"Are you sure that this man is definitely the father?" The doctor asked, looking down again as she did.

"What?" Clara asked, shocked.

"I'm sorry, we just have to...young parents often..." The Doctor stumbled off upon seeing Clara's shocked face in hurried confusion.

"Are you saying that I...I'm not a...I don't..." Clara trailed her words off, realising that she wasn't getting anywhere. "Yes. Yes of course I'm sure. I've never been more sure of anything." Clara confirmed, making the Doctor nod apologetically.

"I'm sorry, it's just routine." She said quickly, putting her notes down to the side. She picked up a blue and white gown, handing it over to Clara. "You need to change into this. You can keep on your underwear if you wish to. Then just lie down on the bed next to you."

Clara nodded, taking the bundle as the woman left the room for her.

The Woman asked if she was done two minutes later before pulling the curtain back so that John could step in with her. She soon busied herself with the equipment as John moved over to Clara to hold her hand.

She smiled softly at him, lipping a thank you to him. She'd never been more grateful for him being there.

The woman gently lifted up Clara's shirt, squirting the gel onto her stomach.

She flinched uncomfortably. "I always thought people lied when they said that stuff is freezing!" Clara gasped, making John laugh.

"Idiot." John mumbled, earning him a punch in the shoulder.

"You're the idiot." Clara giggled as he yelped out in pain.

They both were soon distracted however as the device was rubbed over Clara's slightly swollen belly. they both looked over to the small screen on the side.

Just as they squinted to get an even harder look, a small image came up on the screen. They could vaguely see a small head and body moving back and forth in-between the lines.

Clara gasped, shocked to the sight so quickly. John squeezed her hand tighter, watching as the baby kept on moving.

"That's..." Clara whispered, not able to finish her sentence. She didn't understand how something so real could be inside of her. It was so tiny and barely even there, but it was moving and alive.

She didn't even notice as her eyes began to fill up with tears. She quickly batted them away, feeling silly that she was crying.

"Is it...I mean...what gender is the baby?" Clara mumbled, looking over to the Doctor. John and her had already agreed that they needed to know so they could avoid using the word "It" as it could be seen as a little rude.

"One second." The woman mumbled, smiling down at the couple.

John's eyes hadn't left the screen yet until this moment, watching as the tiny thing that was part of his own DNA moved around and flickered on a small screen.

Clara looked over to him quickly, squeezing his hand herself. "John?" She asked softly.

He nodded to say he was okay and she nodded in return, agreeing with him. They both looked back to the Doctor, who was smiling at them.

"It's a boy." She smiled at them.

Clara inhaled quickly, nodding her acceptance. "A boy." She repeated, unable to tear her eyes from the screen again.

John finally managed to look away, staring at Clara. He'd never seen her look so anguished. "A little boy." She whispered again. He wasn't sure what was running through her mind at that moment, but he knew that she wasn't okay.

They thanked the lady and both took printouts and a video, knowing that her Dad would probably want to see. She had confirmed that Clara was twelve weeks, allowing them to have a due date for the end of April. He may have been angry about it, but if it mattered to Clara, it mattered to him too.

Once they got back to Clara's house, she ran straight up to her bedroom, allowing John to follow. She had been quiet the whole ride home, thinking something out.

When he finally entered her room, he found her sitting cross-legged on the bed, looking to floor for some kind of answer.

He walked slowly over to her, trying not to be too abrupt. Once he was by her bed, he sat down next to her and put his hand on her knee soothingly.

The movement made her head snap up quickly and they looked into each other's eyes.

In a swift movement, Clara was kissing John passionately. They hadn't kissed for a while, at least not like this. They hadn't felt a need to.

John accepted gently, wrapping his arms around her neck as he pulled her into his body. Their lips collided, not too forceful, but much more loving than before.

As they were kissing, John could feel a small tear falling down Clara's cheek. He pulled back slightly their noses still touching, as he wiped away the tears quickly.

His hand cradled her skull as she leaned her forehead onto his. Her breathing was heavy and hard from the lack of breath from the kiss, but neither of them cared.

"I love you." Clara said softly, confirming it to him.

"I know. I love you too." John replied softly, making her nod in understanding with herself. She took a sharp breath, scared to let out what she wanted to say.

"I'm gonna keep it." She mumbled, looking him in the eye. "I _want_ to keep _him_." She stumbled.

John looked at her for a few moments, nodding in agreement slowly. "Me too." He mumbled. "I love him too much already."

His words made Clara visibly relax as a nervous giggle escaped her system. "Oh thank God." She sighed, knowing that it was a good decision. She let her body collapse into his as he cradled her softly.

"I love you." John whispered into her ear again. "I love _him_ too. I promise to keep you both safe. I promise to be there for you. I promise anything you want me to promise."

Clara smiled as she nodded in understanding of his statement. She picked up his hand that was currently cradling her neck and moved it down to her stomach.

She hadn't really allowed him to do that yet. She felt it was too loving; too intimate. He gasped as she did it, rubbing his thumb over the smooth skin beneath his fingertips.

She put her hand on top of his and smiled at him. "Promise?" She whispered.

"Promise." He smiled back, kissing her once again.

* * *

Clara waited outside the classroom, looking in as the year seven's packed away their things before the bell. She wasn't even sure if this was the right decision.

She trusted Mr Simons more than anything, and it wasn't like she could keep this a secret much longer. A teacher had to know at some point, or this could all get messy. She knew she should probably go to her head of year, but she didn't trust him like she trusted Mr Simons. She would have felt far too uncomfortable speaking to him.

She could see Sir smiling in there and she knew that once he saw her there would be no backing down. He'd already had to ask what was wrong with her several times. He always knew when something was up with her. He'd watched her for far too long and he had seen all her worst and good sides.

As the bell rung in her ears, she stood out of the way for the small children to run out of the room as quickly as they could. As good a teacher as Sir was, there was no way he was going to get annoying eleven years olds to enjoy science. They were far too "cool" to be doing that. It made Clara laugh to think she had once been like that, having to be the coolest person in which subjects you disliked. That was what defined popularity back then; subject taste. Unfortunately, it soon turned to how many cigarettes you smoke, how drunk you had been and how many guy you'd slept with. An that was when life had to stop being some childish game and become one of idiots who should still be enjoying their childhood.

Once every last child had filed out of the room, Clara softly raised her fist to the door and hesitantly hit it three times.

"Come in!" Sir shouted, beckoning her as he saw his favourite student at the door. She nervously made her way in, holding her hand in her pocket as she took a few deep breaths.

"Great to see you Clara!" Sir said cheerily before looking at Clara's nervous state. His face instantly dropped as he made his way around from the desk to go and face her, checking she was okay.

"What's wrong?" He suddenly asked, knowing that she needed a shoulder to cry on more than probably.

"Nothing." Clara said to him softly. "Well, it's not nothing, but nothing's _wrong _exactly. Well, it depends how you look at things because..."

"Clara!" He shouted hurriedly, snapping her out of her gaze. She looked back up at him worriedly. This was her last chance to back out if she even had left any leeway for herself from this point. She knew it just had to be said, even though she was dreading his reaction. "Tell me what's up?"

"I..." Clara began, looking at how worried he was about her. He must have thought something really bad had happened. She hadn't realised how scared she probably looked. "I came to show you a picture." She said bluntly, reaching down into her pocket to retrieve the item.

Mr Simons stood back, looking more than a little confused. She held the picture face down, handing it out to him so he could look at it properly. She looked down to the floor scared, stepping back in fear of his reaction. He was like her second father, and the first one she had told had punched her boyfriend in the face, despite him being a generally good man. So she wasn't too keen on many reactions anymore.

His eyes widened at first, confused as to why she had just given him a picture of a baby-scan. Then his mind started to click into all the hooks and he looked to the bottom of the paper to read the words "Clara Oswald" down there.

He wasn't even sure hat there was he could do or say. He could tell she was extremely worried and scared, whether it was of the situation of him or not in that moment he had no idea. He started to feel disappointed, after all the time he had spent with Clara trying to get her life back on track, she had done this. But there was something in the way she had looked at the picture before giving it to him which made him hesitate. She looked like it had been...loving. Scared but loving. She loved this...baby. Clearly.

"You're..." He began, unsure of how to continue after that.

"I had to tell you." Clara interjected, looking back up at him in her fear. "I can't...I wont be able to get through this without someone by my side. I _need_ someone who isn't my father or the boy I've dragged into this mess to get me through this."

"You're keeping it?" Sir asked softly, handing back the picture. Clara nodded slowly.

"I took John to the Doctor's yesterday and we decided it was for the best. We'll look after it well." Clara didn't sound sure on that point herself.

He raised his eyebrows. "Will you?" He had to ask, knowing she would hate him even so.

Clara looked up at him, narrowing her eyes before relaxing once more upon realising his intention were not intended to be spiteful.

"I love him to much to give him up." She said honestly. "I can't lose someone else I love."

Sir looked down at her, and she new what was going through his head in that moment.

"This isn't payback for my Mum dying. Honest." She quickly snapped, looking at him surely. "It was an accident. We...we don't know how it happened. But...it has. And God knows, I've ruined John's life over this and I know that makes me an awful person, but...I just can't get rid of it. I can't."

"You're not an awful person Clara." Mr Simons stepped over, wrapping one arm around her despite how questionable it might seem. "And neither is John. But you'll need all the help you can get."

Clara nodded softly. "I had to tell you...before it becomes..." She pointed to her belly. "Obvious." She finished.

Sir nodded slowly, pulling a stool out from his side and sitting on it, signally Clara to do the same. She sat beside him, quietly, allowing him to take in the news slowly.

"How far along are you?" He asked slowly.

"Twelve weeks." Clara replied, knowing he would be annoyed she had kept it so long.

"Oh...and it's a boy, yeah?"

Clara nodded. "Yeah, a baby boy."

He looked down to his knees and took a deep breath that allowed him to think things through slightly. "And...do you have everything you need? Like all the things you might..."

"That's kind of why I came to you." She muttered. "I was hoping you could help me."

"I have kids you know." He stumbled, trying to sound like he could help, although he somehow sounded more nervous than she did in that moment, despite the fact that he was the teacher.

"Well, that was kind of the point." She mumbled, half sarky He smiled at that and nodded his head in understanding.

"Do you have any idea what kids are even like? Especially babies?" He asked softly, placing his hand over hers on her lap so she would feel safer.

She shook her head. "No. I love kids and all, but I have no...experience with them. I'd probably be there trying to feed the poor thing when all he wants is to sleep. Or I'll be keeping him up when he's tired or not changing his nappy or..."

"Clara, it will be fine!" He suddenly soothed, trying to calm her nearing hysteric state. Sir had learnt over the years that it didn't take much before Clara Oswald was able to work herself up into a state which she couldn't get out of too easily. He was extremely glad he now knew the signs.

"But..." She began, looking down to the floor once more as she cooled off. "I don't know a thing about...babies. God, I'm just a kid myself."

A small tear fell down Clara's cheek as she sniffled, trying to stop anymore. She made no move to wipe it away, fearing that a simple action would change the entire atmosphere and put everything into perspective which she just told her teacher.

He leaned over slightly upon seeing the tear and gently wiped it away.

She looked up at him, waiting for the disappointment to fully settle in. She knew he felt it.

"We did everything you're told to do Sir." She mumbled, unable to stop another tear. "We...we waited until the right time and made sure we used protection and everything. We weren't just being...you know, kids messing around and all that. That's probably what you think of us, hey?"

He shook his head quickly, grasping both hands in his. "No." He said simply. "I don't. Because I know you Clara, and I know what kind of person you are."

She moved her head away, trying to get away from his stare. "Everyone thinks I'm some kind of slut. And even if they don't, they all want to kill John. It's not his fault either. He's...he's being...amazing. He's doing everything in the world he can for me and I'm giving him fuck all in return but shit and a bloody baby, which he doesn't want."

She moved her hands to her face, rubbing a her sore eyes. "I don't." Mr Simons said softly. "I don't think you're a slut, or this is John's fault. Accidents happen, and sometimes, there's nothing you can do to fix them."

She nodded softly and looked down to the floor thinking of what next there was she could possibly say. Even though it was unspoken between them, he had already promised to help her and keep an eye on her within the next year. He hadn't even really questioned it in his own mind at all. Clara was like a daughter to him, and he'd be damned if he pushed her away in a time she needed help more than ever.

"On Saturday, I'm going out for drinks with my wife." Sir suddenly piped up, making Clara look up with confusion written all over her face.

"I was thinking..." He began to clarify, "You could look after my four and three year old. Take John too if you'd like..." He trailed off his words, wondering if he'd over-stepped a borderline.

"Look after your kids?" Clara choked, suddenly looking terrified. "Are you sure you trust me with that?"

Mr Simons looked down to his feet, smiling slightly. "Of course I do Clara." He said simply. "You're a sweet girl with a big heart. Anyone would be stupid to not trust you with their kids."

She opened her mouth in shock for a moment before closing it again. "I...I mean, What...What are they called?" She finally settled on, making Sir smile that this meant she would do it.

"The four year old is called Jamie, and he is a rascal, but he will love you to pieces. He is currently in the face of calling all teenage girls pretty, so beware about that." Clara giggled lightly and it made the whole room seem that much brighter. "And my three year old is called Lily. She is currently wanting to be every Disney princess in existence, as well as wonder woman. It changes daily. They're not a massive pain. I just think it would...help you feel better about this."

Clara took a deep breath once more. "What about your wife? I mean, she would feel uncomfortable with some random knocked up kid looking after her children, wouldn't she? Are you sure it would..."

"Clara, Clara!" He silenced her, stopping her worries. "She knows plenty about you. I'm sure she will be more than comforting, despite any opinions others may harbour. I promise."

Clara nodded slowly, smiling gently at Sir. "What time then and where?"

He smiled back in return, giving her a light hug with a tap on the back. "Thank you. This means a lot." He said honestly.

"No problem. I'm sure John will love me all the more for this." She said sarcastically. "Besides, it's not like I have anything better to do with my time."

_"Maybe it's hard to see in the darkness that is warped around our hearts, but everything changes. Nothing ever stays the same for more than a moment. Of that, I am sure."_


	5. Month 4

**I am so sorry for the lack of an update! It's just been super stressful at home and every time I've tried to write, I've failed at it. I am so sorry once again!**

**Thank you so much for all of your amazing reviews! Please keep them coming and thank you all so much for being patient with me!**

**(Just gonna say that I put a simile in the beginning of this fic and it's had me in hysterics for ages now. It had to be pointed out).**

_**By the way, Jenna and Peter have killed me. they are so cute omfg. **_

**Enjoy- please review! -OhMyStarsShiz xo**

* * *

Clara had never given too much though to the idea of babysitting for someone. She had suggested it to her father's friends several times before for money, although none had ever taken her too seriously in the moment. But the idea of doing it for her teacher was a whole new thing entirely. If she messed it up, there was no way she could back out of it. He was trusting her with his own children when most people were still treating _her _as a child herself. At least she would be doing it with John. He always seemed to have a cool head and he was relatively good at coming up with things to do. Maybe not always for children, but she was sure he would think of something.

A four and a three year old; what was so scary about that? It wasn't like they would be creepy or do anything like kill a hamster and make her bury it like you see on those weird horror movies.

So Clara wasn't exactly sure why she felt scared as she walked over to her teacher's household on the Saturday night. She was walking alongside John, who was staring at the floor in silence. The lack of talk between them only served to heighten Clara's anxiety, but she knew that it was John's way of staying collected and keeping a cool head.

As they turned the corner into the estate in which Mr Simons lived, Clara reached for John's hand, smiling at him as she did so. He looked up and smiled back, giving her hand a re-assuring squeeze. It wasn't much, but it was enough to ease some of the tension building up in her mind.

Clara carefully scanned the house numbers, double checking she had the right place before she knocked on the door.

The sound of her fist hitting the door felt like it echoed throughout the entire street, and she instantly wanted to shrivel up into a ball and roll away like a hedgehog. But she was too late for that, she knew, as the door opened and a smiling young woman, with short blonde hair and bright blue eyes, stood there facing here.

"You must be Clara." The woman smiled, holding out her hand for a shake kindly. Clara took it nervously and smiled back at the woman, nodding as she did so.

The woman peeped her head around Clara's body and waved at John, "And you're John, yes?" She asked, smiling even more. "Andy meant it when he said there was an astounding height difference between the two of you, didn't he?" She laughed, stepping aside as she ushered them into the hallway of her home.

Their house was relatively big, and Clara and John could hear the noise of small giggles and Mr Simons laughing with them from the kitchen.

"So, Clara..." The woman began, making Clara turn back to face her. "I'm Kate, Andy's wife, in case you hadn't gathered that much already. It's great to finally meet you. Andy is constantly going on about you and how well you do in school. He's very proud of you, you know?"

Clara's eyes widened in shock. "He is?" She finally said quickly, feeling a bit rude in her manner.

Kate chuckled, nodding. "Of course he is, you're an excellent student. Or at least that's what he says. You and John get the highest grades for him."

Clara nodded modestly, accepting that truth. She probably didn't know about the pregnancy then.

And if people could read minds, then Kate was the woman for it. She instantly knew what was going through Clara's head and it shocked them all that she had spoken so quickly. "And, yes, Andy told me all about your situation." Kate took a step into the front room, which was on her left, as she pulled Clara's arm slightly to tear her away from John's nervous gaze. "If you ever need anything Clara, I'm always here to help. I know that you have only just met me, and by gosh do I sound like some freaky patronising woman right now, but I can't imagine how it must feel to not really have any female adult who has been through this situation before to hold your hand."

Clara winced at the thought of her Mum not being there once more, not to escape Kate's notice, but she chose not to dwell on it, which made Clara feel much better about it.

"I don't know how you have already got this far and not been given any support of that kind. I imagine your father is doing all that he can, but it's not exactly like he's been in your place ever before." Kate smiled kindly and Clara returned it, starting to feel much more comforted by this kind woman. It wasn't rude and patronising in any way. It was exactly what Clara needed and she couldn't have been more grateful.

"So...As awkward as it may sound, you can ask Andy for anything you need from me at any time. He won't mind too much. He said that...Well, he told me that you'd asked about me a few weeks before and I though it was probably what you were needing."

She spoke quickly and hushed, although John could hear every word, but it made Clara feel much happier and she smiled, nodding in response.

"I can't tell you how much that would..." Clara began, trying to sum up the meaning of those actions in her mind for Kate, but she simply received a finger on her lips.

"No need to thank me." She said simply. "It's my pleasure to help."

Clara gave Kate a very gracious smile, that showed so much more than any words could do justice to. It was in that moment that Mr Simons came walking into the hallway, laughing happily as he saw Clara and John there.

"Hi!" He said loudly, laughing as he dragged his feet along the floor. Clara and John looked down to find that he had a child clinging on to each foot as he tried to walk with them. It made them both giggle as the small children laughed too.

They both looked up to the strangers in the hallway and clung even tighter to their father's legs than they had before.

"As you can see," Mr Simons said apologetically, pointing down to his feet, "They might take a while to remove."

Clara smiled at him, finding it really amusing. The small girl and boy looked very similar, and much more like their mother than their father. They both had golden blonde hair that curled around their faces in small waves. Although their big brown eyes were taken from their father, giving them his essence every time they smiled and their eyes' gleamed.

Clara turned around to smile at John, who smiled back. She nodded her head towards the kids encouragingly. At the same time, they both crouched down, Clara nearest to them both.

"Hi there." She said softly, sticking her hand out to the little boy first. "I'm Clara. What's your name?"

The boy looked hesitant at first, staring at Clara's hand as if it were some kind of threat. But after a few long moments, he smiled at her and stuck his hand out to meet her. "I'm called Jamie." He said quietly, pushing his face into his father's leg to hide from her.

Clara chuckled softly, moving her hand to rub the boy's back comfortingly. "Well it's nice to meet you Jamie."

At this point, John moved forward too, making the boy turn his head again. "I'm John." He introduced himself, smiling at both of the children.

I'm Lily." The small girl on the other leg shouted, feeling left out as all the attention went to her big brother. Clara laughed and turned to the tiny girl. "Hello Lily." She cooed, sticking out her hand once more to greet her.

But instead the girl had other plans, letting go of her father's leg to dive into Clara's arms and climb on top of her.

John initially jumped at the sudden action, scared that the child would hurt Clara, but both of the adults seemed fine as they smiled down at the girl.

"Woah!" Clara laughed, holding onto her as she wrapped her legs around Clara's waist and clung on like a koala. "You're very cuddly, aren't you Lily?"

Lily simply nodded, holding tighter as Clara stood up to face Kate and Mr Simons once more.

"She is very quiet at first, but just wait until she gets to know you." Kate warned, making Clara laugh.

"Thank you so much for this opportunity Sir." Clara thanked, giving him a grateful nod.

"Why do you call Daddy Sir?" A small voice chirped in from behind, making everyone turn to see John, who had just stood up, with James now firmly clung onto his leg. It didn't seem to have taken long for them to adjust to the new babysitters.

"Because, like you have teachers, I'm _their _teacher. And In big school, people forget you have names, so they just call you Sir." Mr Simons explained, making Clara giggle. It was interesting to see it from that perspective.

"Oh." Jamie pondered. "That isn't very nice though, is it?" He asked.

Sir laughed again and shook his head, "No, they're not being rude Jamie. We make them do it so it's easier." He added, knowing that they boy wouldn't understand.

He was right when he thought that as the boy simply shrugged and diverted his attention to John's shoelace that he was untying.

Kate and Andy looked back to Clara and John again and smiled once more in the silence. "Well," Kate began, getting down to the basics, "Their bed time is at latest seven-thirty, and there are fish fingers and chips in the oven for them now, so it shouldn't be too hard. The table is already set, and they only get one tiny squirt of ketchup each. Don't let them tell you otherwise." She warned.

"But Muuuuum!" Jamie moaned, pouting as his Mother laughed, shaking her head.

"You know the rules Jamie. Or you'll have bad teeth." Kate looked back up to Clara and shrugged. "I'm a dentist." She explained. "And they hate me all the more for it."

"I doubt they do at all." Clara smiled, biting her lip nervously as she smiled once again.

"Okay..." Sir started, turning his body to face the door. "Before they have a chance to run after us, we are going to leave. We'll be back at ten." He mumbled, as he paced to the door with Kate and waved at the kids before leaving.

Luckily, it was already six-o-clock now and they had plenty of time to et the kids read for bed before it got dark.

Clara turned back to John and shrugged, not quite too sure where to go from there.

It seemed it would only take minutes before the kids were running around laughing, jumping on the sofa with the teens and having lots of fun.

Lily would only let go of Clara for a few moments at a time when she wasn't running around, which Clara found adorable. Jamie, however, decided that he wanted to have a sword fight with John and kept stabbing him in the leg playfully with his wooden sword.

Every time Clara laughed, John scolded her for taking his side. He was of course joking, but Clara made sure she got a video of John being bested by a four year old. She had to admit that the children were some of the most adorable she had ever encountered. They were like little balls of energy, wrapped up in sweet wrapping paper with big hearts on top.

Getting them down to eat their dinner was simple enough, although telling Jamie to stay away from the ketchup took more than a few attempts. He kept managing to nearly sneak it back to the table before Clara or John realised it had somehow been taken from beside them. She had to give it to him, that kid was sneaky.

But he giggled and laughed every time, which Clara knew meant that he probably wouldn't have had the guts to actually squirt any more on. It was more for the game than anything else.

"John, what are you doing?" Clara asked carefully, as she sat next to Lily who was eating her chips.

He pulled a sachet out of a cupboard quickly shouting "Ah-ha!"

Clara's eyes widened as she saw the packet, getting out of her seat to scold him.

"No John!" She shouted, walking towards him so she could confiscate it, which seemed quite stupid as he was nearly an entire foot taller than her.

"But, but, but, but, it's custard for the fish fingers!" He whimpered, making her want to giggle in what she felt like should have been a serious moment.

But before she could even shut John up, the kids had heard the word custard and demanded he made it.

It two minutes, John had the custard out on the table in a bowl and was teaching them how to dip their fish fingers into it perfectly, much to Clara's distaste once more and to their pleasure.

"Oh come on," John teased, beckoning Clara over to sit next to him at the table. "I know you want it really."

And Clara knew that the moment she would take one bite, she wouldn't be able to stop. She was very grateful that they ran out of fish fingers soon enough so that she wouldn't eat them for hours. They were definitely something that she would find herself craving continuously. She wanted to curse John and his weirdly tasty foods sometimes.

They spent their time from that moment on playing with the children in the front room. Lily was desperate to show Clara her dance moves, twirling and pointing her toes as she had learnt in her ballet class, along to the song Wannabe, which Clara weirdly had on her phone and the girl had chosen.

At the same time, John was carrying Jamie over his shoulder as they continued to pretend-sword fight. Jamie was, of course, winning, despite the clear advantage on John's part.

Lily and Clara spent a good few minutes sat on the sofa together watching them. They both cheered on for Jamie, which made John pull many pouty faces. In turn, the pouts earned him kisses which the kids pulled funny faces at and shouted "ewwww!"

"Clara?" Lily asked softly as they sat on the sofa, the sword fighting continuing in the background. The girl crawled onto Clara knee once more and faced her, grasping Clara's cheeks in her tiny palms.

"Yes Lily?" Clara smiled as the girl moved her hands from her cheeks to play with her soft brown tresses.

"Is John your prince?" She asked, looking up for an answer.

"My prince?" Clara gasped, watching as the girl nodded eagerly.

"Yeah. My Mummy said that Daddy is her prince, like Cinderella and Prince Chanting."

"Do you mean Prince Charming?" Clara laughed.

"Yeah that." Lily corrected, still looking to Clara for an answer.

The teenager shrugged her shoulders softly, not really sure what she could say to that. "In a way." She mumbled. She then leaned in to the little girl's ear, whispering as quietly as she could but so she could still be heard, "He's more like a superhero. He's always there for me."

Lily smiled as she leaned back, satisfied by that answer. "Awwww." She said to herself, as if it were an adult doing it to her.

Clara smiled to and nodded as the girl curled up on her chest to close her eyes.

It was soon decided by both John and Clara that it was definitely bed time. They made sure both of their teeth were brushed and they were in their pyjamas and bedroom by seven-thirty sharp.

Jamie barely needed any help sleeping. Despite his constant protests at first about going to bed, he was spark out by the moment his head hit the pillow. Lily, on the other hand, was missing her Mum much more.

Clara tucked her in softly and brushed her hair with her fingers, trying to think of ways in which she could get this little girl to sleep. She was clearly tired, but she wanted her Mum. Clara remembered being like that with her bay-sitters when she was around that age. It was never nice to know that you wouldn't see your Mummy and Daddy until the morning.

John was done with tucking Jamie in as he walked over to Lily's room to get Clara. As he stood in the doorway, he heard her singing a soft lullaby to the girl. It was only twinkle, twinkle, little star, but it was really sweet.

There was something about the idea of Clara singing a child to sleep that really hit him deep in the chest and it made him feel like he was glowing all over. His heart seemed to well up with pride and love and it made him feel so much happier all in that moment.

By the time Clara had finished the lullaby, the girl was fast asleep. She smiled softly, placing a small kiss on Lily's forehead to say goodbye, before she quietly turned to leave the room. She may have been shocked that John was there, but she didn't show it or make a noise so she wouldn't wake the girl.

They quietly turned off the lights upstairs and made their way back down into the living room so they could talk some more until ten.

Clara fell backwards onto the sofa from exhaustion with a loud "Hmph" the moment they shut the door and John curled up beside her giggling.

Clara seized her chance and quickly snuggled up into John's side, using his shoulder as a pillow and curling her feet up on the couch.

"Tired much?" He chuckled, brushing her hair back from her face as she shut her eyes.

She merely replied with "Hmm," making John smile even more.

"You were so good with Jamie." She mumbled. "He really liked you."

John shrugged, running his fingers through Clara's hair. "Lily barely let go of you all evening."

Clara smiled at that. "She is such a sweet kid. James too."

"Yeah they are." John agreed, allowing the peaceful silence to be absorbed into their tiny bubble they were sustaining in that moment.

Clara opened her eyes softly, too tired to keep them that way for long. "Do you think we can do it? Look after a kid of our own?" She whispered, sounding scared all of a sudden. John caught onto the fear in her voice, for in an instant he was kissing her temple and rubbing her arm soothingly.

"Yeah." He said, half to himself. "Yeah, I really think we can." His second statement was much more public than his first word, showing that it was his true thoughts.

"I'm scared John." Clara admitted gently before closing her eyes once more. It made him feel nervous that she had finally said it so bluntly. Scared was the simply matter of the fact. Neither of them had any idea what the future had in store for them or what could possibly lay ahead. It wasn't the simply fear of this baby, but all the problems and possibilities it would bring with it. And fear was pretty much the only thing driving them at the present time.

John felt her head go heavy on his shoulder and he moved his body to lay lengthways on the sofa. Clara adjusted to lie on his chest and tangled her legs with his.

John could have sworn he heard her faintly mumble "Love you" before they both drifted off, but he was too far gone to register it properly by then. He was already in his own mind, blissfully drifting off.

* * *

Kate and Andy got back a bit before ten, eager to see how the duo had done taking care of the children. It was very quiet when they got back, and Kate took a quick look into the kitchen to see all the washing up from the dinner had been done, and there was no extra food in the bin that should have been eaten.

Andy wandered into the front room, smiling at the sight that greeted him. They must have been very tired after looking after them, and it entertained him that John and Clara had crashed there.

Kate walked in slowly after and made a silent "Aw" at him. He nodded in agreement, putting his finger to his lips as they slowly left the room and shut the door. They both decided it would be best to give them another half-hour before they woke the two. They were probably both shattered from all the stress at home too, and it would be nice for them to have some time that was peaceful.

"I'm impressed to say the least." Kate said to Andy as they sat at the kitchen table with their coffees. "The kids were fast asleep, and the house was in one piece. They seemed to have done really well."

Andy nodded softly. "They're great kids." He said humbly. "If I'm honest, out of all of the couples in the entire school, this would be the one least likely to be in this situation. They're so sensible and mature, it just doesn't seem right."

Kate nodded in agreement. "And you know they're going to get judged when it all comes out. It won't be pleasant for her at all." She mumbled, not enjoying that thought at all. "I honestly can't imagine what she is going through."

"Neither can I." Andy agreed. "You should have seen her yesterday Kate. She looked so scared of what I would think, as if I would suddenly hate her. I dread to think what will happen when the others start to find out."

"I doubt half her family will even know yet, poor girl." Kate whispered.

* * *

Clara woke up with a jolt, moving her body slightly from the weird position she was lying in. She was aware of a warm body beneath her, and it took a few moments to realise it was John.

And with that thought process came the memory of where they were. She could hear faint voices in the next door room and she knew they had already come back. The panic in her mind was set in, and she quickly woke John.

He mumbled and groaned as she hit him on the chest. "What was that for?" He groaned sleepily.

"We feel asleep at a teacher's house!" She hissed. "On top of each other!"

That was all it took for John to wake with a start and sit straight up, knocking Clara sideways. "Shit." He moaned, standing up quickly and as energetically as he possibly could manage.

They quickly managed to compose themselves as they stumbled through into the kitchen, the bright light burning their eyes as they smiled at the adults.

"I am so sorry about that!" Clara said softly, looking really apologetic. "We hadn't realised we'd fallen asleep and..."

"No need to worry!" Kate laughed, making both Clara and John feel at ease. "We thought you needed the rest anyway."

"Thank you." John piped up. "For letting us take care of your kids."

"I hope they weren't monsters." Mr Simons laughed standing up with Kate to take the teens home. They'd both decided it wasn't sensible for them to walk back in the dark.

"Not at all." Clara smiled. "The exact opposite in fact."

"You have lovely children." John agreed. "They are really kind and sweet."

Kate and Andy both raised their eyebrows, impressed by that. "Usually they're awful!" Kate laughed. "You must just be good."

Clara shook her head in disagreement. "You're really great parents. It's clear in the kids."

Kate smiled and took the compliment for what it was. After all, Clara meant it from the true depths of the heart.

They all gave hugs and Mr Simons insisted on giving them each twenty pounds for their time, despite their insistence they did it as a favour .He then kindly drove them both home, making sure they were safe before leaving them.

And by the end of the night, Clara had found that she, not only had someone she could finally go to when she felt so alone in this entire mess, but that she actually could look after kids and somehow not screw them up.

* * *

Clara wanted to scream. Having a birthday dinner was really the last thing she wanted to do on her actual birthday. Especially this year of all years. For the first time ever, her Mum wouldn't be there, and it she knew she was just going to feel like shit the entire time.

Even being allowed John to stay for the dinner wasn't going to cure anything, and her father had used that to convince her to actually have it.

He probably would have cancelled too if it hadn't have been for Clara's Gran coming down from Blackpool for the occasion, like she always did. She had spontaneously called up about it a week before, which Dave was grateful for or they would have completely forgotten. Too much was going on in their lives and they hadn't had much time to get in for birthdays.

And Clara really didn't want to think about being seventeen. She kept telling herself that at least is was another number up on the number line so she wouldn't seem like she was having a kid so young, but she knew she was only fooling herself by that.

The worst part about this entire birthday dinner was that they hadn't even told her Gran about the baby. the one time Dave had brought up how they could possibly mention it to her, Clara had insisted that they didn't need to tell her until she'd had the kid and had then, in a fit of hormonal anger, gone on to say about how they would hide they baby for the years until her Gran died. She later regretted saying that very much, but she wasn't going to deny that it seemed like the best idea.

Her Gran had always been so proud of her, and now she was going to let her down so much. Which was why it had been agreed there would be no mention of the baby during the entire weekend she was staying. Clara demanded it, making everyone swear it would be the silent topic that her Gran could just avoid.

Clara was closing up to four months, and it wasn't like the bump was getting any smaller, but it was still small enough to pass under normal tops and shirts. As long as they weren't skin tight she was fine, although she'd rarely worn skin tight things before anyway.

It would only be Dave, Clara, John and her Gran at this dinner, so it wasn't too fancy and it was only a small meal at home this year. Clara had insisted on that part very clearly. She didn't want to have to eat out and try and be respectable when she honestly would rather stay in the house.

This was much to her Grandmother's disappointment when she was told, but she didn't seem to care too much. She had bounded into the house, wrapping her arms tight around Clara and giving her a big hug in the doorway.

"Hello Gran." Clara mumbled softly, returning the hug eagerly as she see her father walking past her to help John in the kitchen from the corner of her eye.

"How's my favourite girl in the world doing?" Gran asked as she moved back, smiling at Clara. They were about the same height and it made them both laugh.

"I'm great Gran." Clara smiled, "How are you?"

Gran walked past Clara, leading the way into the dining room as she seemed just as giddy as ever. "Oh you know these old bones." She tutted, pointing to her knees. "But you know what I say, I'm not dead yet!" She laughed, making Clara giggle too.

She could hear the faint sound of John burning his finger in the background, and she tutted knowing that he would have done something stupid like touch a hot pan. She could hear him hissing over it, but it was clearly fine and it simply made her smile more.

"Happy Birthday!" Gran suddenly shouted, snapping Clara out of her gaze.

"Thanks Gran." Clara smiled, leaning forward once more to give her a thank you-hug.

She could practically feel her Gran shaking with the need to break away so she could hand Clara her present. She could tell that she was trying to make up for the clear loss in the room of Ellie. She had always adored her mother-in-law and it seemed her Gran was making sure that Clara didn't feel too down on that day because of that.

She finally broke away, leaning into her handbag as she raised a finger in the air before Clara could even attempt to speak.

"One second." She insisted, making Clara laugh. "My beautiful girl needs her present!"

"Mum!" Dave called from the kitchen. "No presents now- We were waiting until later!"

Gran waved him off as she called back "As if I only got one present for my _only_ grandchild." She teased patronisingly.

She turned back to Clara, smiling as she found the small package in her bag and pulled out the gift. "You better hurry up with grandchildren Clara, or I'll be in the ground before I see any."

Clara's eyes widened in nothing more than pure shock and she was grateful that her Gran simply began to laugh at her statement. She was so grateful that the sudden thumping of her heart couldn't be heard.

"Relax dear." Gran soothed, laughing to herself. "I'm only kidding you. Although, is that your boyfriend in there...?"

She occupied herself with trying to peek through the door into the kitchen, making Clara giggle nervously as she nodded softly. Her father must have warned her Gran that John would be there.

After a few moments of hilarious face pulling from Gran, she gave up and turned back to Clara, the small box that was wrapped in tiny wrapping paper held out in her hand for Clara to pick up.

She took it softly, carefully opening to paper so as not to rip as she found a jewellery box inside. She wasn't at all shocked to find a pair of the most beautiful earrings in there, with diamonds in the centre of a gold circle. It wouldn't be too shocking either if they were real diamonds.

"Wow." Clara gasped, looking down in shock. "Gran, they're beautiful." She said softly, looking up with tears in her eyes. "Thank you so much." She whispered, reaching forward to hug her Gran once more.

"Well, yes, I gave another pair to your Mother a few years ago and these were for your eighteenth, but I thought you would..."

It was then that Gran heard the sniffling, and she instantly knew what it was about. Ellie had worn those earrings at every special event, and Clara adored them. It had only taken her a few moments to know who had the other pair of them, without it being mentioned.

Clara managed to stop the bucket of tears that threatened to spill so she wouldn't embarrass herself. She felt like her father would be mad if she cried on her birthday, but not in a harsh way. She just wanted it to be happy and not full of sorrow like it was inevitable going to be. Dave was still being awkward around Clara, and it wasn't like it was hidden very well.

It became even more obvious when everyone finally sat down to dinner, ready to eat.

They had cooked Clara's favourite meal; spaghetti bolognaise, with a starter of nachos and banoffee pie as a dessert, just to change everything as thoroughly as they could.

They'd all made sure to change into other clothes before they ate, making it a smart dress. Clara wore her new earrings, which went very well with the lilac dress she wore. It was simply, but pretty, and it was just baggy enough to hide any blatant bump, but without it seeming too weird.

John had insisted on doing her hair for her, wanting her to feel beautiful. It had taken more than several appreciation kisses before she actually sat down and allowed him to tie it. He'd simply pulled the front two strands back and plaited them over the loose hair, but it looked nice.

He wore a nice shirt with trousers, but kept it casual at that. He didn't want to go too overboard, and Clara made sure to tell him many a time just how sexy he looked when he unbuttoned the end of his three-quarter length sleeves.

They sat down at the table quietly, Clara next to John and opposite her Gran. She barely let go of John's hand the whole time and he didn't blame her. It was clear she felt tense, as if her Gran was trying to puzzle something out.

There was so obviously a topic that was being avoided in the household, and Clara knew that if people didn't start changing topics well and start talking, then it wouldn't take long for the said topic to come out in the open.

Gran made a point to practically interrogate John, which made Clara laugh a lot. He often seemed stuck for answers on all of her silly questions. It was her favourite thing to ask him things like "So you're going to be a professional footballer?" or "You only take the drugs, not dealing them, right?"

Clara had no idea what was possibly being achieved, other than making John get squirmish and her Gran having a laugh, but it seemed like it was the perfect thing for her birthday. She hadn't had a good long laugh in a while, and she felt it was well deserved.

By the time they had gone on to their dessert, the meal had turned out pretty successful, and everyone seemed happy. Almost everyone at least.

Despite his belief that he had been unnoticed the whole time, it is very unlike a Mother to not know when something is up with her son. And it didn't take much for Gran to know that her son was feeling uncomfortable about something.

She could sense it in the way he tried to avoid any conversations with John in particular, but even his daughter. It was most unlike him in any way, and it wasn't going to be avoided.

So, as they started on the banoffee pie, Clara feeling like the whole meal had been a success, everything went upside-down.

"David." Gran finally said sweetly, but her intent clear from the use of his full name. Clara's heart stopped at that moment and she almost dropped her fork as she snapped her head towards her father.

The only time in all the years Clara had lived, she had only heard him being called David by his Mother once, and that was the day he had called her to say that Ellie had died. It was the same concerned, yet confused tone that Clara remembered from the other end of the line so well. She had heard it so faintly, yet she remembered it so clearly in her head. It was a shock back then, and it definitely was a shock now.

"Explain to me why you haven't properly spoken to your daughter for the entire time I've been here, _on her birthday_." She said clearly, focusing still on the pie she was eating.

Clara inhaled sharply. "Gran, don't scold him. How could he have got a word in edgeways with you and me and John talking all of the..."

Clara was met with a soft, yet sharp glare from her Gran which made her shut up instantly. No, there was no way he was avoiding this one.

"I didn't realise I had. I'm sorry Clara." Dave mumbled, looking up at Clara as she begged him to be careful in her eyes. It truly scared him how petrified she looked, but also angered him that she had a need to feel that way.

"Now, no-one just forgets about their daughter on her birthday." Gran tutted, turning to face him in confusion. "Dave, what is the matter with you?"

He shrugged as he looked at her. "Just not feeling too good I guess." He tried to pass it off once more, but she was having none of it.

"Forgetting to speak to your daughter isn't down to feeling a bit shit." She snapped.

"Gran!" Clara gasped, hearing her Grandmother swear for the first time.

"Hush now Clara." She said softly, trying to defend her granddaughter in what she thought was the best way. "David." She said again, making him look back to her. "Tell me you haven't been ignoring her like this since..."

It didn't need to be said. They all knew she was speaking about Ellie's death. It may have been true that he had changed towards her that day, but Clara could still feel John tense up with her as they knew an argument was going to blow if they weren't treading carefully.

Dave said nothing, standing up to leave the table, which just made Clara angrier. As if that wasn't at all obvious something was even more wrong than before. Gran stood up too in a rage, which make Clara have to look at the table to avoid any eye contact.

"Is this about what you told me on the phone a few months back?" Gran shouted at Dave, making him turn back around. "Because _that _was the most disgraceful thing I've ever heard you say."

"I can't believe you remembered that." He mumbled, watching as Clara suddenly looked up in confusion. She had no idea what they were on about.

"I can't _believe_ you feel that way. Because that's what this is, isn't it?" Gran shouted. "You're blaming her for something that _isn't her fault at all!_"

"Blaming me for what?" Clara chirped in, but he comment was disregarded as Dave turned back to face his Mother.

"Mum..." He warned, feeling like a child once more as she shouted at him.

"She is you daughter David! Your own daughter! She is everything you ever wanted and yet you refuse to even talk to her because she is too much like..."

"It's not about that at all!" Dave suddenly shouted back, making everything go silent.

Clara took that moment to slowly stand from the table. She knew her Father and she knew when he would crack. And she could see that it was coming.

"Then what is it?" Gran shouted, anger filling her veins. "What is it that requires you to blank your daughter on her birthday? She is such a beautiful and talented young girl and you're wasting the time you have left with her before she leaves you!"

"Oh, you think your granddaughter is so perfect, do you?" He snapped back.

Clara good see the confusion on her Grandmother's face and she wanted to scream for everything to stop and reverse the entire evening.

"Dad, stop it." Clara warned, staying quiet but knowing it was heard.

"What do you mean by that?" Gran challenged, annoyed at his tone towards his daughter. She could never believe that the boy she raised could be so rude.

"Do you know what perfect little Clara has gone and done? Because she is so sweet and talented and smart!" Dave snapped.

"Dad, stop!" Clara shouted, leaning over the table and she begged him to shut up.

Gran looked from Clara, whose tears were building up with her shouts at her father to be quiet, and her son who was acting so uncharacteristic that she wasn't even sure she knew this side to him at all.

"Don't speak about your little girl that way!" Gran snapped back, trying to gain some leverage on Clara's side.

"Little?" Dave suddenly bellowed, finally breaking in. "She's not little at all."

"Dad, please!" Clara screamed at him as his voice raised in volume, gaining anger with each syllable.

"If she was a little girl she wouldn't be pregnant!" He shouted over the top of her.

Gran stopped in her tracks, not quite sure if she had heard that sentence right. But as the moments moved by and everyone remained silent, it became clear that there was no lie being told.

She looked down to her feet in shock, not quite sure what to say.

She could hear the sniffles and sobs of Clara from across the room, clearly distressed as she tried to compose herself in some way.

"I'm sorry Gran." Clara whimpered, unsure if any words would be enough. She had no idea how this woman, who had always been there for her since she was a baby, would possibly react to this.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered again.

The silence was ever-lasting, and John wanted to run from the room as fast as he could. It was more than clear that he was not wanted there by Dave and now probably even Clara's Gran.

"Clara." Gran mumbled, turning to stare at her granddaughter in confusion and shock.

That was all it took for Clara to break, running out of the room as fast as she could. The sudden movement caught everyone off guard, but it changed the atmosphere significantly. They could hear her running up the stairs to her bedroom and the door slam quickly as it was locked.

John stood up soon after and moved towards the doorway of the room, going after Clara.

He felt a hand on his chest, stopping him in his tracks as reached the doorway. He didn't bother turning to stare at Dave, whose hand it was blocking his way, but he was extremely grateful when Gran sat down and mumbled to Dave "Let him go."

The moment the hand was removed, he ran up the stairs as fast as he could.

When he reached Clara's door, he knocked gently three times. He knew he wouldn't get a reply at first. "Clara, it's me." He whispered gently.

It took a few more moments before the door opened slowly and he followed Clara in, sitting next to her where she had curled up in a ball on the bed as she cried.

He sat next to her and pulled her small body into his arms, brushing the loose strands of hair from her tear stained cheeks. "Ssh, it's okay." He soothed.

"No." She snapped quickly. "It's not."

John had no idea what to say to that, but he kept on holding her as she turned her body to cry on his shoulder. "I can't take it John." She gasped in-between sobs, gripping onto his shirt for some kind of support. "I can't lose the only few people I have left in my life."

"You won't. You still have me and your Dad and..." Clara huffed at his last words.

"He hates me." She said softly.

"He doesn't...!" John argued, knowing there was truly no point.

"You know he does. He can't even look me in the fucking eye because of it. He already hates this damn piece of shit inside of me and it's not even been born yet." She snapped, her tears coming angrily now as he throat began to feel dry and thick.

John refused to show just how much those words pierced him in the chest, but they truly did to know she felt that way. It just hurt to hear her call the baby that, even though it wasn't his place to say anything.

"I'm _sorry_." John whispered. Clara tried to protest, but this time he refused to let her. "No, Clara this is _my_ fault. _I'm_ the one who didn't use protection. _I'm_ the one who suggested we go at it a few more times. _I'm _the one who's ruined your life."

Clara gripped John's shoulders so she could pull her body up and look him in the eye. "Don't say it like that." She whispered.

"But it's true." John insisted. "I've ruined your life and all you get is the shit that comes with it. And I just sit there like an idiot when someone should be punching me around the face and _comforting_ you instead."

"No, John, please, _please_, don't say it that way." Clara pleaded, not being too clear in her indications.

"Tell me I'm wrong then Clara. Tell me that this isn't more my fault than it is yours." John argued back, kissing her lips so she couldn't reply when she tried. "Because you can't. Not really."

Clara wrapped her arms around his neck, gripping onto him with all she had. "Don't say it like you let me down in some way John." She whispered. "Because it will kill me. Out of everyone in the world who can, has and will let me down, you're not one of them."

John shook his head to argue, but this time she was doing the talking and she refused to let him fight back. "My Mum let me down." Clara started, "She let me down because she left me here to cope on my own. She promised she would never leave me, and she did."

"Clara, you can't blame your Mum for what..."

"My Dad let me down. He hates me for being his daughter. He hates me for being Ellie's daughter. He hates that I hate him for hating me. He hates me for the way I look and act, because I'm too much like _her_. He hates me for getting pregnant and he hates me for ruining his life too. And he promised...he _swore_ to my Mum that he would protect me. I heard him hold her hand ad swear it as he they switched off the lie-support machines and those final sounds went dead. I _heard _him promise her and he lied. _On her death bed!_"

Clara's voice was getting raspy and it was clear she was nearing hysterics. "Clara, calm down..." John tried to soothe, but it clearly wasn't going to be enough.

"And now my Gran has let me down, because she promised she would always love me no matter what, and now she _hates _me. Did you see the way she looked at me? Like she can't stand to be anywhere near me!"

John pulled Clara bag into his arms as he rubbed her back to try and calm her down, which was effective. It turned her screams into soft tears as she cried into his shirt.

"Don't think of it Clara. Think of everyone who loves you."

"There isn't anyone. Not anymore. Not really." Clara said simply, and he knew he couldn't respond to that properly in any way.

After a few long moments as Clara's sniffling slowly began to subside, she mumbled into his shirt, "I wish I was dead. I wish I had died in that car crash with her too."

That was enough to make John jump, and he pulled her back so he could cup her face in his hands and stare into her eyes. "Never say that." He mumbled quickly. "_Never_ say that Clara. Please, don't you dare. Because, I know this is selfish and rude, but you saved me Clara. And if you died, I would have _nothing _and _no-one_ left. So don't ever, _ever_ say that again." John choked, his eyes filling with restrained tears as he pressed his lips to Clara forehead and held them there as long as he could.

She slowly lifted her head and whispered against his lips, "I'm sorry, I love you."

John felt as her lips grew softer from her tears and their wet cheeks were touching, "Me too, I love you too." John whispered hurriedly back before their lips touched once more. It was a soothing action rather than a passionate one, and it was the only thing that allowed them both to feel safe in that moment.

* * *

When the knock came on Clara's door and they both knew it was Clara's Grandmother outside, John was reluctant to leave, but she insisted he go to avoid the inevitable wrath.

The crossing paths of the woman and the young boy did not seem pretty from Clara's eyes, but then she really did was not looking forward to the moment her Gran sat down beside her and started talking.

"Clara." She whispered softly, placing her hand on Clara's knee, causing the girl to flinch.

"I'm so sorry Gran, please, please don't hate me! I swear, it was an accident and I'm sorry I let you down. Just say you don't hate me! Please, I can't take it anymore!" Clara suddenly screamed out, her tears coming in an onslaught of emotions.

Gran had pulled Clara into her arms in a flash second, hushing her as she attempted to provide some comfort to the clearly hysterical girl. "I could never hate you Clara. Especially not for this."

The girl took a while to calm down and pull away to look into her Grandmother's eyes. "What?" She asked softly, shocked by the words that had just reached her ears.

"Clara, I could never be angry at you for this. Never. Not in the time where you would need me the most. You could be a serial killer and I still wouldn't hate you Clara."

Clara smiled at that, finally finding some comfort in the despair she had just wound herself up into. "But..." She started.

"But nothing." Gran interrupted. She waited a few moments to think about what to say. "You're father told me everything. How far along you are and all that."

Clara nodded softly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just didn't want you to be ashame..."

"There's no need to explain yourself to me." Gran hushed, interrupting once more. "I wasn't ever angry with you Clara. Shocked? Oh hell yes, but not angry. I was angry with your father. I don't understand why he was being so cruel to you when you clearly were distraught over it."

Clara looked away again. "I don't blame him for hating me. Anyone would." She mumbled.

"No, he is just acting like a three year old." Gran snapped in anger to her son. She looked away for a moment before turning back to Clara. "I thought it was to do with something he'd told me a few weeks after your Mum died."

Clara looked up, despite the mention of her Mum hurting her like it always did.

"He asked me to come and take you to Blackpool for sixth form. He told me that he couldn't cope with looking at your face everyday when you look so much like Ellie. And he couldn't stand hearing you giggle or laugh like she once did or say anything how she did. He said you were too much like her."

Clara furrowed her brow in surprise.

"I told him to stop being such an ungrateful bastard of course, furious at what he said. Because, there's something you need to know Clara; You are not _too_ much like your Mum, you're just all of her best qualities thrown into one amazing human being. And, Clara, your Mum would have wanted you to be strong and to carry on no matter what."

Clara nodded, knowing it was true. Her Mum was always a fighter. She never gave in when others told her no.

"Although, when I said about great-grandchildren earlier, I was meaning in a few more years time..."

Clara started to giggle slightly, but the laughs turned into sobs once more and she wrapped her arms around her Gran, grateful that maybe she hadn't lost another person in the world who she needed dearly.

"I'm staying here by the way Clara." Gran whispered. "I'll go back to Blackpool on Monday, but by next Friday I'm moving into your spare room. There's no way you're going this alone with someone here for you."

Clara had no words to say to her, but they didn't need to be said out loud. She was more thankful than she'd ever felt before. It may not have been perfect, but it was exactly what she needed.

* * *

Clara had finally managed to emerge from her room, although her state of hysterics had caused at least two rounds of sickness from all of her food, which Gran blamed solely on Dave, despite Clara's protests that it was her fault.

After a while of begging on Clara's part, and using the excuse "It's not like I'm going to do something stupid and get knocked up, am I?" John was allowed to stay over in Clara's bed. She just wanted him there that night, and he was really comforting. He was always exactly what she needed.

"It scares me when you get that psyched out." John admitted to Clara as they faced each other in the bed. "That kind of stress isn't going to help the baby, or you."

Clara looked down sorrowfully. "I know." She whispered. "I just...I can't seem to stop them. I feel like I've lost everything."

John shook his head. "Not everything. You haven't lost me."

Clara nodded at that, admitting it to herself. "Don't leave me. Don't get up in the morning and just go."

They both knew it meant more than that. This was her way of asking him to stay alive; her plea that he wouldn't abandon her like her Mum did.

"How could I ever?" John smiled. "You're the only person I want in this world."

She smiled in response, leaning forward to gently kiss his lips. "I want my Mum so much. I really need her right now." Clara admitted, her voice full of regret and hurt.

"I know." John replied simply, knowing there was nothing else that could be said. "I know." He huffed out. His hand absent-mindedly moved to the bump on her stomach under tank top, mapping out the dimensions.

Clara watched as his eyes drifted shut, his hand staying where it was. Once she was sure he had fallen into unconsciousness, she pressed a light kiss to his forehead and whispered, "If I ever lose you, I'll have nothing left."

Her words echoed through the darkness as her eyes drifted shut, their minds dreaming of a place where life wasn't so complicated, and people were able to keep their promises without life getting in the way.


	6. Month 5

**Would have updated yesterday, but I wasn't satisfied with the ending. **

**This chapter is a teeny bit shorter than the rest, but I didn't want it going into what will happen next chapter. I felt like that needed to be in there instead of this one. **

**Thank you to all for reviewing, please keep them coming! They definitely make me write faster!**

**Thanks especially to Kosovaheartland, because you're always amazing and you just deserve a million thank yous. **

**Please excuse all grammatical errors. I have a few quite often, I know, because I miss them when speed reading. Personally, my biggest pet peeve is errors without a joke, so you have no idea how annoying it is when my fic has loads in! I'm often going back to change them for that reason later, but it drives me insane, so I know how you guys must feel!**

**Anyway, enhoy! -OhMyStarsShiz xx**

* * *

Clara wouldn't have said her bump was particularly big at all. In fact, she sometimes felt like she had just put on a bit of weight recently. Or at least she would have done if it wasn't for the fact the rest of her body was pretty much still the same.

Even for someone so small, she was shocked that she wasn't showing more. She had looked it up on Google images plenty of times to see if she was in some way abnormal, but it seemed it was common for first time children. And for that she was plenty grateful.

She still hadn't told any other classmates at school yet and she was willing to keep it secret for as long as she possibly could. She'd heard the rumours going around about how much "weight" she was gaining, but she hadn't heard anything yet about being pregnant, and even Nina and Kelsey were sticking to teasing her about putting on some "puppy fat."

Mr Simons had decided that he would be the one to inform the Headmaster about the pregnancy. Clara had agreed to that and it had all been kept secret for her benefit. It was for the best that the Head knew, just in case anything went wrong while she was in school and they needed to take her to hospital. Also because she would most likely need to go on maternity leave for her last two or three weeks.

It really didn't help that her due date was the end of April, and her exams would be starting less than two weeks after that. She could imagine the stress was going to be unbearable, although she tried her hardest not to even think that far ahead. She still had a long way to go yet.

But that didn't mean she was excused from telling her family about the "issue" as her father liked to refer to it as. And that included David when he got back from Uni.

He'd come home a week early before John and Clara broke up for their Christmas break, which meant they would have to tell him before he sussed out the massive elephant in the two households. It wasn't too hard to see after spending less than an hour amongst those guys.

It had been decided by Dinah that they shouldn't tell David until he was there in person. That way it could be all be explained and it would save everyone an awkward phone call.

Clara had spent as long as she possibly could getting ready before she trailed over to John's house. She was really not looking forward to being there as John told, but she supposed he had been there with her when her Gran found out and it was now her turn to sit through the awkward conversation.

Dinah had practically begged Clara to be there, as she knew David wouldn't beat John up if she was in the room. She guessed the moment she would leave he would probably do so anyway, but it was better to hold it off for a short while.

John was waiting by the door as Clara knocked, opening it with surprising haste to meet a room full of stares. It seemed David had been told Clara was coming over for something urgent, and they had left him hanging until she arrived.

To say he was shocked was a little bit of an understatement, but anger seemed to fill his veins more. He was furious at the idea his little brother had the nerve to ruin someone's life.

That was how he saw it, and in Clara's mind he really wasn't far off, except the fact that she blamed herself and not John.

Even with Clara in the room, it had taken Dinah's firm hand and a fair bit of arguing from Clara to stop David punching John into unconsciousness. Out of the two boys in the family, it had always been David who was the ladies man and way more likely to get a girl pregnant, but somehow the quiet and innocent one of the two had beaten him to the punch.

After the atmosphere had calmed down some, Clara had managed to keep a civilised conversation with David over dinner. He had always been kind to Clara, at least when he hadn't been in a mood, and he had always strangely admired her. Not just for being such a strong and clever person, but also for giving her brother someone to hold on to. John had never had much commitment in his life. He'd never fully trusted Dinah, despite the long years she had been his mother, simply because she was someone who he would have to leave some day. And as much as it pained David to know it, he and his brother weren't very close, leaving him no-one who had been their as a constant throughout his life.

Clara had provided that constant, and now it seemed they had given themselves another that would stick with them for eighteen years.

David had spoken to Clara about the future mostly. Everyone else kept quiet, even though Clara had been silently begging John to speak too. But David wasn't getting at her in any way, his curiosity more friendly than rude.

He felt sorry for the poor girl. Even now when he was living at University, David panicked at the idea that his girlfriend could be pregnant. He couldn't imagine what John must have thought when he was told.

For Clara, the night managed to end quickly enough and she made sure she was home by ten, not wanting to scare her Father or Gran. Her Dad had perked up his behaviour somehow since his Mother had moved in, although their conversation would often still turn sour. It was evident that he worried about Clara, but he seemed too lost to actually do anything.

Gran had spent a whole night trying to say this to Clara. She wanted her granddaughter to know that her son really did love her and he was trying the best he could. It was more than clear that their household was still mourning Ellie every second of every day, and there was not much room for anything else in there.

In a night of tears from Dave, he had told his Mum about how he truly felt. It had broken her heart to hear the words about disappointment and fear leave his mouth, but he needed to let it go.

But he still wouldn't help Clara in the way that she needed. He was still treating her how he had done shortly after Ellie's death, and she seemed to be okay with that mostly. It allowed her plenty of time alone to do as she pleased and it really didn't shock Gran that she'd had enough time on her hands to get pregnant, considering there were never any adults around to keep an eye on her.

But John was there mostly and that was a comfort to them all. He kept the place a little bit happier, making Clara smile whenever her eyes betrayed her facade and showed that she was truly wanting to cry. He was good at making Clara happy, and that was often the most important thing.

* * *

"Excuse me?" Clara shouted at the group of huddled year elevens in the corridor. She hated how they seemed to insist on blocking the way so absolutely no-one could get through. "Move!" She shouted once more, waiting for them to separate.

But as they did, there was a look on their faces that seemed quite intimidating. She felt like they were sizing her up for something, sniggering under their breaths things that Clara couldn't quite make out.

She budged part them, ignoring her weird encounter, as she made her way to the canteen. She always found it was better to ignore it when people were rude behind your back. It saved you from all kinds of problems that came with it later.

As she walked along, she felt more and more awkward with each step. She was beginning to think she was paranoid, as she felt like everyone around was staring at her. But as she continued to look back, she realised that she actually might not be. People genuinely were staring at her.

She stopped in the corridor, moving to the side for a moment to try and hide in the shadows. Unfortunately for her, she had already been spotted.

"Oi, Clara!" Nina shouted, her voice a little too giggly for Clara's liking. She watched as Nina and Kelsey skipped along, some boy attached to Nina's arm who she'd never seen before. It made her roll her eyes, knowing _that_ particular relationship wouldn't last long.

"What?" Clara moaned tiredly, not willing to hear what her annoying friends had to say. It sounded like they had gossip and she really wasn't in the mood to hear it.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Kelsey laughed, making Nina giggle too. Clara looked at them as if they were weird, wondering what on Earth was going on.

"Tell you what?" Clara snapped back in slight irritation, their giggles becoming increasingly frustrating. Even the boy Nina was holding seemed to be laughing. Except, unlike usual, they seemed to be laughing _at _her rather than with her.

Kelsey and Nina both looked at each other, rolling their eyes as if it was something insanely obvious. "That you're knocked up." Nina stated, making sure everyone around heard.

Clara's face fell as she looked into their eyes. How could they have possibly known about that? _No-one_ knew about that.

"What?" She said quietly, not quite sure how to respond. Shit, shit, shit, shit, _shit._

"Everyone knows Clara, so quit the dumb act." Kelsey sighed, their giggles turning to death-glares. "Thanks for telling us. You know, your _friends._"

Clara looked down to the floor, not quite sure what there was to say. She felt like her mind was cramming full. What did they mean by everyone?

"Wh...I..." Clara could barely get words out, struggling to even understand what Nina and Kelsey were saying as they carried on their incessant babbling in the background. She wanted to scream, but she had to know. John wouldn't have told _them_, would he? What if he told his friends and they had told? But she couldn't imagine Amy and Rory doing such a thing. they were too kind.

"And here we were thinking you were shoving hot water bottles up your shirt every morning to keep warm!" Kelsey laughed, making Nina chuckle with her too. they thought they were absolutely hilarious and it made Clara feel sick. Even the boy she didn't know was cracking some joke at her and it churned her insides, stabbing her heart every moment.

Without even paying attention to the moaning protests of her so called "friends," Clara pushed past them, running to the sixth form lounge as fast as she could. She knew he would be there; he always was.

It took her only five seconds when she ran in to spot him, and by that time she could see people around staring. They knew. They _all_ knew.

Clara ran over to John, who saw her coming and instantly looked worried. She looked panicked, as if she was about to collapse into hysteria again. That was not a sight he really ever wanted to experience, not ever again. The last time it had just about killed him, seeing Clara in so much pain. So something was wrong; very wrong indeed.

She reached the table which Amy, Rory and John were seated around and she looked at John, her eyes furious and frantic, pleading for something he couldn't quite decipher.

"John." She said as cooly and as calmly as she could, although she was aware her voice was shaky. "Can we talk?"

He instantly turned to face her, nodding slowly. He was about to stand up to leave the room, but she felt like it would be pointless anyway.

She looked him in the eye and whispered, "Did you tell?"

The look of horror in John's face at the idea was enough for her to know that he clearly hadn't. "No!" He gasped, "I've never told a soul, except the obvious."

It then took that moment of realisation before he knew what had caused her to be so freaked out. "Who? Who knows?" He worried, trying to keep his voice down. Amy and Rory were looking to each other in confusion and worry, never seeing their friend so clearly disturbed before. They were eager to know what was going on.

"Nina. And Kelsey. They said that everyone knows. I don't even know how..." Clara started to say slowly, her voice muffled by the thickness that was holding back the tears. John put his hands on her shoulders, willing her to look into his eyes so he could help her. But he saw so much more fear which he knew would be reflected in his own, and he doubted that was going to provide any comfort at all.

"They might not tell anyone..." John started, praying to himself that would be true. But knowing those two girls, they would do anything for attention and this was exactly the kind of thing they would love to be the centre of.

"They said _everyone_ John." Clara spat back in a hushed tone, looking over her shoulder as she felt more eyes on her. It seemed people were turning to see the hushed whispers between Clara and John, wanting to hear more. They knew. They had to.

John slowly wrapped his arms around Clara, seeing if a hug might just relieve her of some of the panic. It wasn't perfect, but it surely helped.

"Clara!" A random voice from across the room suddenly shouted. Her body went stiff, knowing it was meant for her. She didn't pull out of the hug, not wanting to hear what would come next. she could just tell they weren't going to say it.

"Hey Clara, is it true you're knocked up?" The voice shouted once more, and the responding gasp around the room seemed to echo in John and Clara's ears.

They didn't move. Everyone was waiting, but they took a few more moments before they left their position. Clara could hear John's heart begin to thump faster and his breath quicken. She knew she was doing the same and she was dreading turning to face everyone.

The moment she did she felt like her life had gone from high to low in the space of thirty seconds. The stares. The goddamn stares felt like torture as everyone tried to see the bump, each and every person seeing the evidence, that suddenly seemed to obvious, and realising that it had to be true.

Clara opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn't say anything. John was stood beside her, his hand on her arm as he tried to cling to her, but even his best friends were staring at them from behind and he wanted to grab her and run as far as he possibly could.

The room dissolved into lots of shouts and calls to Clara suddenly, demanding an answer. And then John started getting the shouts, everyone realising who the baby daddy was and screaming at him too.

Clara had never felt like she was claustrophobic in anyway before then, but suddenly she could feel the walls closing in on her and all the voices getting louder and louder until they filled her ears like screams. And she knew, she just knew she had to get out of there before she couldn't take it any longer.

Her legs were moving before her mind had even processed the fact she had left the spot she was earlier glued to. The walls ran past her, zooming away as she avoided the crowds of random faces filling the corridors. They were all staring, even then. She knew not one of them and yet they stared. She wasn't quite aware of where she was going until she got there, knowing she just needed to hide for then.

She didn't even knock as she burst into her Chemistry classroom, instantly seeing Sir in there.

His surprise didn't last long as he saw the tears that were making their way down Clara's face and the panic that seemed to glisten off every cell in her body.

"Clara, what's wrong?" He asked cautiously, standing up to walk over to her so he could check she was okay.

"They all know." Clara whimpered, closing the door roughly behind her so that she couldn't hear the annoying voices of the other students in the hallway outside.

"Know what?" Sir asked hurriedly, meeting Clara as he held her shoulders for an answer. Her breathing was ragged and it was clear she felt scared. This was no state for someone of her situation to be in, although he had a suspicion she had been like this many times before during the last few months.

"Everyone knows I'm pregnant Sir. They all know and they're all staring and laughing at me." Clara mumbled, her tears calming along with her body, but her mind still flaring up with haunting images from the lounge a few minutes earlier.

She waited a few moments in the dull silence before she softly admitted, "And I can't take it."

As a teacher, Mr Simons had never felt more useless than before this moment. There was absolutely nothing in his power that he could do to stop this. She couldn't just avoid school for the next few months. This would go on for the rest of the year, he knew.

* * *

"John, is it true?" Amy asked him in confusion as he stormed out of the lounge, looking for Clara. The small riot had seemingly quietened and turned into shocked whispers, but it didn't change the fact they were still laughing at her.

"Amy, please could you just..." John pleaded, barely able to make his words out right as he tried to think out where she could have gone. In that moment it hit him and he started to head towards the science classrooms. He knew where she would be. He just felt like she would need him there, despite him being absolutely useless at this every single time. He wanted to punch that shitty kid so hard in the face that it sent his nose flying back into his skull and shattered his brain, but the idea of Clara being in pain was more important to him and he rushed to comfort her instead.

"Please could I just what? It's true, isn't it?" Amy demanded, following after him at a quick speed with Rory on tail, feeling like she shouldn't be so angry in that moment.

"Yes, of course it's fucking true." John snapped back, stopping to turn and face her in the middle of the corridor. Amy sometimes scared him with her ferociousness, but right now he was too pissed off to even give a damn about that.

"I told you. I told you she would ruin you, didn't I say that Rory?" Amy started babbling, annoyed that her friend had chosen to neglect her of this for God knows how long.

"She didn't ruin me Amy!" John shouted back, angry at his best friend too for being so stubborn and misunderstanding, just like everyone else. "I ruined _her._ She doesn't deserve this. So don't blame her, alright?"

He felt like he would never forgive Amy in that moment, although he knew he eventually would. She would calm down and stop seeing red. She would come to her senses and so would he, he was sure of it.

He ran off, leaving Amy behind in frustration as she tried to argue her point with Rory who had never looked more helpless. He was still too shocked to truly process anything.

He made it to the classroom in record time, running in quickly and stopping just in front of the door.

Clara was sat behind a desk, her head in her arms as she tried to compose herself, Sir stood beside her as he said something to her John didn;t quite make out.

They both turned to look at John as he walked in, but he only took a moment's hesitation before running over to Clara and sitting down beside her. Sir smiled, knowing that it would be better for John to be there than him.

"Clara, are you alright?" John whispered, his arms instinctively going around Clara. She nodded slowly, moving her body to face his as she rested her forehead on his shoulder, her arms looping around his neck.

"I'm sorry for running away. I'm so useless, I just..." She stuttered, trying her hardest to form proper sentences.

"Hush, don't be sorry." John soothed, kissing her temple comfortingly. "It's not your fault."

Clara scoffed to herself, making John simply hold her tighter. "I keep going into damn hysterics. Even after I promised you to be calmer for the...the..."

And in that moment, she couldn't bring herself to say the word. It was too personal, too close to home. It sounded too real and she suddenly didn't like it. She didn't like that idea anymore. And that scared her more than anything else.

They said no more words after that, waiting until the school bell before they finally went to their History lesson. John was actually grateful they were together in it, knowing he could be there for her in case anyone said anything spiteful.

They walked slowly there, a note in hand from Mr Simons as to why they were late.

"You good?" John asked softly as they reached the wooden door. It seemed menacingly scary, knowing that there were twelve other people in that room who would know.

She nodded slowly after a deep intake of breath. "I think so." She replied honestly, looking to her side up to him. "You?"

He nodded as well, "Yeah," he said simply, feeling like there wasn't much else to do. John slowly opened the door, hoping that he wouldn't feel this awful every time he walked into a room for the rest of his school career.

* * *

Clara had a funny feeling on how everyone knew, and it turned out to be very much against John as she insisted on going over to his house before they went home that night. She was more than happy that they only had four days of school left after this before the Christmas holidays, where she would be able to try and at least rest and get herself sorted.

She stormed into the Smith household, running straight upstairs to David's bedroom, John rushing behind her as he tried to figure out what on Earth his brother would have to do with this.

She opened the door quickly, not even bothering knocking, and walked straight up to David, who had looked up from his bed in surprise.

"Oh hello Clara, I...Ow!" David began as she slapped him harshly across the face. John could hear the sound resonating in his ears from where he was and it made him wince. "What was that for?" David shouted, annoyed at the sudden intrusion.

"You told everyone, didn't you? You told someone at my school that I'm pregnant!" Clara shouted, her hand raising to slap him again as he cowered away.

"No! I didn;t!" David shouted back, trying to defend himself as quickly as possible. "I told no-one except..."

He trailed off his sentence and Clara raised her eyebrows, too angry for sympathy in that moment.

"Who?" She snapped, feeling betrayed by someone who she had trusted. She would make sure Dinah gave him his fair share of shit for this.

"Rose." David admitted. "I mean, she is at University too, so I don't see how she could have..."

He stopped mid-sentence, watching as Clara pulled out her phone. She had never particularly known Rose and she doubted she would intentionally be so horrible to Clara. That didn't stop the fact that she was angry and ready to tear someone's head off. The pain and torment had lead to fury, stopping her from crying but making anyone around her a potential victim of her next attack.

She knew that the best place to look would be Facebook. The whole world was addicted to it and it wouldn't shock her if something was posted on there.

It took her one flash at Rose's profile to see the post. It wasn't anything mean, quite the opposite in fact. But the numerous comments were what caught Clara's eye, including the ones from her old "friends."

_I feel so sorry for my boyfriend's little brother. Poor kid got his girlfriend pregnant. I hope they do okay_.

She felt angry, but she also felt stupid. Everyone knew Rose was dating David and it wasn't too hard to know John. And then the latest gossip in the school was about John and Clara dating, despite the odds on the food chain.

It would have taken Nina and Kelsey five seconds to figure out. Clara turned around, handing her phone to John who read it, letting out a huge sigh of anger.

"David, do you have any idea what you have done?" John shouted, whacking his hand against the door frame to prevent him from hitting his brother as well. His own jaw was still hurting from the hit David had given after Clara had left last Friday and he wasn't looking forward to getting other if he started it.

"I'm sorry, okay!" David shouted, standing up as he suddenly towered the other teens in the room. "What's the worst the could happen?"

Clara snapped her head back around, clenching her jaw as she through a punch at David's chest. She had one hell of a right hook it seemed. "The worst?" Clara shouted, "Everyone fucking knows" Clara emphasised each word with another punch, making David move backwards and fall back on to the bed, his hands in the air in defeat.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know!" He defended, watching as he received death glares from everyone else in the room.

"Yeah, well, next time someone tells you a secret, keep it. It can ruin people's lives." Clara threatened, her tone broken yet scary. With that, John and Clara left the room, not quite sure how they should feel anymore.

* * *

Clara sat on the sofa in her pyjamas, not too interested in what her Gran was doing. She had always hated most of Christmas, and this wasn't an exception. It just added to the list of events that her Mum would not be there for and it made her feel even worse.

Just to top off the start to the day, she had woken up at six feeling crappy and sick, not able to go back to sleep. She guessed it would just be a cold but she kept having fears every time that thought went through her head, simply because of the baby. The baby changed her so much. She didn't even realise just how much anymore.

Gran had pretty much dragged Clara down the stairs in her excitement. It seemed Christmas was something that still made her Grandmother quite happy. And even Dave had perked up a bit, making plenty of jokes and giving everyone a bacon sani to start off their day.

Clara was waiting anxiously to hear the door knock. John was coming over for Christmas with David and Dinah. They had all decided that it would be best to have it together and everyone would contribute to the food. It was always good to have more people. Especially since Ellie would not be there, they would need more people to lighten the mood a bit.

The anticipated knock came as clear as day and Clara jumped off the sofa and ran to the door at a tremendous speed. She couldn't believe they had agreed to turn up at eighty-thirty to help with the cooking, but she secretly was grateful about it. She could just sense that the whole family would still have bed hair though, especially John.

She flung open the door, a smile creeping up on to her face as she was greeted with the sight of John in the early morning. She missed that sight a lot. Everything was so serious all of the time now, it was nice to see something of last year. It made her feel young and naive again.

"I'm surprised you even bother to knock." Clara teased lightly, smiling at John as he stepped forward to wrap his arms around Clara. He had two huge bags in his hands that were full of presents, weighing his arms down slightly.

"It's called being polite." John teased back, murmuring in her ear as they stood to the side so Dinah and David could move past. They both brushed off the wolf whistle David felt had to be done in that moment.

Clara pulled back from the hug, still smiling at John. He looked so happy that it was Christmas. His eyes were glistening and it made her smile even more than before.

She grabbed the front of his shirt and smiling, pulled his lips gently down to hers. He didn't question it for one second, immediately greeting her lips with his and responding enthusiastically.

Neither wanted to pull back, but were interrupted by the "Oi" from Dave in the corridor. Clara looked at John as she pulled away, a small pink blush tinted to her cheeks.

"Well good morning to you too." John said cheerily, smiling again.

"Merry Christmas." Clara smiled, pecking his lips once more.

"Was that a 'Merry Christmas' kiss or was that just a 'it's good to see you, good morning' kiss?" John laughed back.

"That was a good morning kiss." Clara replied thoughtfully, raising her eyebrows to John and pursing her lips.

"Well then it's a very merry Christmas to me." John chirped, kissing Clara's cheek gently before he moved into the living room so he could unload the presents from the bag and put them under the tree. He was nothing if not traditional.

Clara and John had decorated the tree with Gran last week after she had insisted they have a tree. Dave had thrown out their old one after Christmas last year as it fell down on top of him and he had sworn to Ellie and Clara that it had always been cursed against him. He'd intended to go and buy a new one, but that was always something Ellie and Clara had done and he just hadn't mustered up the energy to do so.

So Gran had taken the teens into town and insisted they get the most expensive tree from John Lewis. It had made them all laugh a lot, but they had lots of fun decorating it, including getting tinsel strands tangled in everyone's hair. Even Dave had joined it at one point to put a few baubles at the top with John, considering Clara couldn't reach without a step ladder.

Clara knelt down beside John and looked at the various size presents. she smiled, pointing to the small box on the end. "That one for me?" She asked cheekily.

He smiled over to her. "Maybe." He said. "It could be of the three."

"Three?" Clara exclaimed. "I thought I was going overboard getting you two! You make me look like such a bad girlfriend." She smirked, knowing it would make him smile again.

"Nah, I just have too much money with no-one to spend it on." He laughed. It made Clara smile bashfully. She hated when he spent too much on her, and she just knew he would have done. She may have lived in a big house, but she definitely didn't have too much money to spend for presents. Hell, she had given everyone one pound chocolate bars for the last three years. The advantage of not having a boyfriend it seemed would be that you didn't have to actually think about getting something special.

But Clara wanted it to be special now. She'd wanted it to communicate just how much he truly meant to her. she felt like she didn't say it enough.

"You're too kind to me." Clara whispered, her hand moving to rest on his arm.

He turned his head to peck her lips once more. "You have to be kind to a princess."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, a smile still spreading from ear to ear. "Cheesy." She laughed, making him laugh too. "But sweet." She added quietly afterwards.

She stood up, extending her hand out to John so he could stand too. They held hands as they walked into the kitchen, preparing to help.

"What took you two so long?" David teased, raising his eyebrows in fake suspicion. Gran laughed at that, giving David a high-five. They all knew it wouldn't have taken Gran long to start getting along with him. She was just a kid at heart in all honesty. She liked to tease the youngsters.

"We were about two minutes." John laughed, his eyes darting towards his brother jokingly threateningly.

"A lot can happen in two minutes though. I'm sure you two know that very well." He winked at the two of them and Clara's mouth opened in shock.

"Oi!" She shouted, making everyone in the room laugh. "My father is in the room!" She said in disbelief.

"Never stopped you before." David teased. He could see Clara begin to make her way over to him as he hid behind the cupboard, trying to avoid her punches. They may have been joking but they really did hurt.

She laughed as she saw David's face, finally happy for the first time in a long time. It had been a hard two weeks and she was so relieved to actually have something to smile about.

"Okay, enough guys, or its flour all over your heads!" Dinah shouted, nudging Dave on the arm as he began to laugh too. Clara noted it was the first proper time she'd seen her father laughing since she told him.

All of the teens ran out of the kitchen, feeling like five year olds. Unlike John and David, Clara was still in her pyjamas, meaning it didn;t matter if she was flour bombed. But the boys were wearing quite nice clothes, not wanting not look scrubby. That was probably due to Dinah wanting them to look presentable.

But none of them would question whether Dinah would actually flour bomb them. they all knew she would. She'd even done it to Clara once before when making a cake. John and Clara had been trying to make beans on toast and had set the toaster wire on fire when it caught on the gas.

It may have been funny, but flour bombs took ages to get out of your hair Clara soon learnt. She loved Dinah. Dinah was a lovely woman and a great Mum. She could tell it hurt her that John wasn't always entirely open with her.

She understood that John still felt like he should be loyal to his biological parents. He had a faint memory of them and so did David. Dinah had always wanted them to be proud of their parents for what they had died doing, but she knew it would be hard for the boys.

Maybe one day that might get better.

Clara quickly went to get dressed so she wasn't parading around in her night clothes for the entire day. She chose to wear something Christmas-like so she was in a festive mood. Putting on a sparkly red dress, she tied her hair back into a plaited-bun. She guessed it would look quite nice for the day. It covered her bump well and didn't make it look awful.

Most of her clothes still fit her which she found a relief. Her Gran had already bought her three pairs of maternity jeans. She had flipped at first, but now she appreciated the sentiment. Her bump wasn't exactly getting smaller and she was struggling to fit into more things now.

She walked downstairs, smiling at john who was waiting patiently for her.

"Wow." He smiled, just like he did on the night of the prom. The memory of that night came flashing back to her in a deja vu moment and it made her smile to herself. Even though it hadn't helped in the long run, she didn't regret that day at all.

"Thanks." Clara smiled sweetly, kissing his cheek as they walked into the dining room and began setting out some tableware. It seemed that Dave had made more bacon sandwiches for the guests, who were definitely hungry.

Clara laughed as the two boys had the food down them in two bites. "I don't know how you deal with teen boys." Dave laughed to Dinah, watching as they swallowed those things practically whole. "One girl seems hell enough sometimes."

"Oh, thanks!" Clara scoffed, rolling her eyes at her dad. She would love to see him try and look after thirteen year old boys one day.

"Oh, believe me, it's not easy." Dinah laughed.

"Mum!" David and John shouted together, suddenly feeling put on the spot like Clara had. They both laughed after, shrugging their shoulders in admittance.

They all went back into the kitchen, beginning to help with the lunch. They could all see that there would be enough feed to feed a whole county.

* * *

The lunch was just as delicious as they'd guessed it would be. Dinah had brought a chicken that was inside a duck that was inside a turkey. And it went down like a treat. Nobody could eat much at all, and they hadn't even started on dessert yet, which they eventually decided would have to be for their dinner that night or a mid-afternoon snack.

That was why they all escaped to the living room, trying to get rid of the "food baby" they had all gained as Clara had so kindly chosen to call it.

John sat down by the presents and handed them out, deciding that it was time for everyone to get done with that. However he kept his three presents for Clara tucked safely under his arm, planning on giving them to her later when they were alone. He felt like it would be wrong to pour his heart out when everyone was watching.

* * *

Clara flopped her body down on her bed after the long day. She actually felt happy for the first time in what felt like forever. Everything felt right. It was normal once again in a fashion.

No-one had made any awkward remarks, and at the end of the day Dave had gone and done the unexpected. He pulled Clara into a big hug and told her he loved her after saying Merry Christmas to everyone. She would have been lying to see the entire room hadn't melted into silence just to witness that moment.

It wasn't much, but it was definitely a start at least.

Clara popped up on her elbows as she heard her door open. And to no surprise, John was standing there scratching the back of his neck.

"Um, I kind of asked if I could stay the night and everyone said yes. If that's okay with you?" John mumbled, looking nervous. As if she could ever deny that face anything.

"No." She said teasingly. His face dropped slightly before he saw her happy smile. "What do you think, you complete idiot?" She laughed, patting the space beside her on the bed as she dropped her body back down once more.

He walked over to the bed, kicking off his shoes as he fell down beside her. He wasn't quite sure why Clara was looking at the ceiling, but it was very calming in a way.

"I'm stuffed." Clara moaned, rolling onto her side to face him as she moved further up the bed so her feet weren't dangling off. Her hands went down to her belly and held them there. "I think I've put on a lot of weight today, don't you?" She laughed.

John laughed too, turning to face her and smiling at her flushed cheeks. "Wow, how much did you eat?" John laughed, his hand going to join hers on her stomach. It was this new thing that he found he couldn't stop himself doing.

"Only as much as you." Clara said, sounding concerned as she looked down. The slight perk to the edge of her lips gave her game away, but it still made John crack a smile too.

"Oh, are you sure honey? You looked like you were eating for two..." He began, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh, that must be it!" She laughed, prodding John on the arm. "I'm eating for two, aren't I?"

He nodded, smiling all the while as Clara look down on to the duvet she was lying on, her hand moving to rest against the fabric.

They both remained in silence for a few seconds. John gently raised his hand from her stomach to brush away the loose strands of her from her face and tuck them behind her ear. she smiled softly at him as he did so, looking into his eyes all the while.

She could see many things there; admiration, love and hope. Hope for a better life maybe? Or hope that everything might turn out alright with them?

Whatever happened in the future, nothing between them would ever be the same after this. The chances of them even staying together for a year at their age were slim, and yet they would always be haunted by this one thing when they were younger.

The baby. The baby would always be there no matter what. She knew simply from the way John looked at her that he would never abandon her. Not even to go to university for a year. She could tell that he would do that awful thing when he sacrificed his dreams and plans for her and it hurt her to know it.

She must have been frowning, because John's face turned to concern, his hand instantly coming up to cup her face and she melted into his touch.

"Are you okay?" He asked gently, kissing her nose to make her smile a bit. He never liked seeing her even the slightest bit sad.

"Just thinking." Clara replied quietly, watching him as he went from worried to intrigued.

"About?" He asked, threading the fingers on his other hand through her own. She looked down to where their hands were situated and squeezed lightly.

"Just rubbish. Nothing important." Clara mumbled, looking back up at him to give him a gentle smile. He knew she was lying; of course he did. She couldn't even look him in the eye as she said it. But he was kind enough not to push her, sensing that she honestly didn't want to talk about it and accepting that fact that he probably didn't need to know it immediately.

Clara waited for the silence to fall back into her thoughts. She didn't mind lying here for a while, and it seemed that John didn't either.

The more she looked at him, the more guilty she felt about everything. She used to always think she was ruining his life by giving him a baby to look after, but that wasn't it at all. She was ruining his life because he was too kind to do what he needed to in life, and for that reason he would never leave her with a baby alone. He was the kind of person who would keep his promises to the letter, and she didn't want him to. Not promises like these.

"John?" She whispered softly, his eyes opening slightly from their half-shut state. He looked tired but his body alerted itself to the sound of her voice.

"Hmm?" He mumbled, looking at her properly again.

"I was just...what Uni are you going to? Or planning on anyway?" She asked, watching as his mind began to think over her question.

"I..." He began, being careful as to what he said. "I always thought I would go to Oxford or Cambridge, you know? Maybe Durham if I didn't get in there. But it really depends now."

"On?" Clara asked quickly, praying he didn't say what she knew he would.

"Everything." He replied, looking at her lovingly. "Where we are, where you are...the baby..." He trailed his words off as she looked back up to the ceiling, trying to make sure she didn't look disappointed.

"But you'll still go to Cambridge?" Clara asked, hoping he would say yes.

"I wouldn't leave you here alone Clara." John said immediately, fully awake now as he got more concerned. "I promise you, wherever you are I'll never be more than a small drive or a walk away. That's if I try to get lessons I mean. But I won't abandon you. I promised that, remember?"

Clara looked down to her side, her mind full of troubles and confirmed worries. "Yeah, I remember."

John assumed that was it then. He assumed that she was worried he would leave her alone, but that wasn't it at all.

She'd never really thought of her love for him as something worthwhile. He always showed her how much he loved her everyday, but she seemed rubbish at it in her mind. But she couldn't allow him to throw away his life for her. Nothing is worth that. Nothing in the entire world would be worth John Smith's wasted life.

There was so much intelligence and opportunity in this one boy who could change the world. And she wouldn't be the person to stop that. Not for anything, and especially not for some mess that she'd pulled him in to.

For the first time since she'd made her decision, Clara regretted not getting an abortion. She regretted shoving herself into this. At the time, it had felt like the worst thing in the world.

She now wondered, if she went back and showed herself what her life would be like in a few months, would she have changed her mind?

She doubted it. Just a few months ago she wouldn't have listened. Clara felt like she had grown up so much in the last few months.

She must have been crying, but she wasn't aware of it until John's finger suddenly wiped her cheek and he turned to face her, concerned as ever.

"Hey, hey you're okay." He soothed as she wrapped her arms around him, holding onto his body as tight as she could. "Everything will be fine, I'm right here. I promise, I won't leave you."

And that only made her cry harder, her mind at war with itself. She couldn't let him stay with her, but she couldn't let him go.

She wasn't crying because of that even so. She was crying because she knew what the final outcome would be; what the only outcome _could_ be. It was practical, and she knew that in the long it would be the right thing to do for everyone involved.

But just because it would be the right thing, doesn't mean it wouldn't hurt like hell to do.

"I love you." Clara whispered in John's ear, hearing him inhale shakily. "And, no matter what happens, I never want you to forget that."

John held her tighter, clearly worried but not saying anything. "How could I?" He whispered back. "Don't forget I love you?" He asked in return, now scared about what had brought this on. Sometimes he wished he could just read her mind so he knew what was going on in there. He wanted to help. He wished he could help, especially when she kept herself so bottled up.

"I won't." Clara whispered almost inaudibly, her voice scratchy and thick as her tears stopped. Because that was enough. It was enough for her to do what she knew she must. As long as he knew, then everything would be okay.

She hoped.


	7. Month 6

**So, new chapter again! I swore to myself I'd do three this bank holiday week and I actually did! Wow. So, I was gonna upload tomorrow, but I thought to hell with it and did it today instead.**

**Thanks for all your amazing reviews! Please keep reviewing and tell me what you think! **

**So, this chapter is kind of an arch in it's way. I think there are moments where the writing is a bit crappy, but every time I re-wrote it it just felt worse (like people getting emotional way too quick etc) but never mind- ignore that!**

**Sorry for all spelling mistakes, it's a 12k chapter so I probably missed loads of typos, which forever cringe me out so sorry guys!**

**I have exams for two weeks, so I'll try my best but don't hold me to any promises because I suck at them!**

**By the way, watched all of Broadchurch for the first time today. WOW, it's so good. Dying for more- now know what the fuss is all about!**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy! -OhMyStarsShiz**

* * *

Clara had never really hated New Years Eve before. It was usually filled with crappy parties she was dragged along to or something she had little interest in, but it wasn't an awful time.

She just didn't see what the huge fuss was. It was a new year. Nothing more. A new year doesn't bring a new start or a new side to yourself. If you were a twat before the clock struck twelve, you will be afterwards too. If you cheated on your partner last year, just because a second ticked by it doesn't change what you did or make it right. You're still what you were, no matter what the year is.

So when everyone cheers and wishes for a new start when Big Ben hits that final dime, everyone is hoping for a better year. And every year we hope for a better one because the last one was crap, but for some reason people don't catch on to that.

For Clara, last year she had wished that her life would get better. She wished that she would get her top results and that everything would be perfect like it should be.

Instead she lost her Mum and got pregnant at sixteen. That was definitely not what she'd wished for.

Because, in the end, wishes do nothing. There's not some greater force that grants your wishes for you, it's your own will and your own doing that gets them done. Clara could wish for her Mum to come back to life all she wanted, but it wasn't going to happen. If she had told anyone that she was going to wish for that, they would have called her insane. Yet everyone thinks of wishes about finding the perfect man that year or getting top results when, simply, if you weren't going to get it anyway, it's not going to happen just because you made a simple wish.

Clara looked to the floor as people crowded around in her house. Her Dad had decided he would have his work friends over and a few family friends to bring in the new year together. There was a light beat in the background, but nothing heavy.

There were drinks, not like she was allowed any. Although, she'd been offered at least four times within the first hour by her father's workmates. As if the fact she was holding her stomach in a shirt that stuck her bump out by a long way wasn't enough of a clue in itself.

Clara wished that she could erase the whole of the last year and start again. But knowing that wasn't going to happen, she wished that this year might not be as bad as was it inevitably would be. Because there was no way this year was going to be good. All you had to do was look at the circumstances to know that.

She was stood in the corridor, a coke in her hand as she waited for something to do. She was too tired to care about the new year, and she felt awful.

But that was mainly because she had decided to do it tonight. What a crappy way to the end the year, she thought. She wouldn't do it after midnight though. As stupid as she found tradition and suspicion, she didn't want to start John's year with shit.

Clara heard a whistle aimed in her direction and she looked up to see her Dad tilting his head to the side as he raised his eyebrows.

She looked towards the door, which was the direction her Dad was showing her, and she saw John walking through the door with Dinah. David wouldn't be there because he'd gone back to University for a new years party.

"Hey." Clara smiled, watching as John moved towards her like gravity. He was by her side in seconds, pulling her into a hug.

"Happy New Years Eve." He mumbled, pulling back to give her a kiss on the cheek. she hadn't seen him since boxing day morning, when he had to go back home quickly. Dinah had taken them on a surprise trip to Wales for four days, which Clara knew he would hate every minute of. She hadn't banned phones after John's argument that he _had _to stay in contact with Clara for the sake of the baby and her health, meaning they had been able to text. Not that they actually had much.

John had pretended like Clara's continued silence wasn't making his wary and worried, but he hates intruding on her feelings. He got to see more of them than anyone else usually did and he hates pushing that. But he would be lying if he said that it drove him insane how locked up she was, especially now.

He wanted to know how she was feeling and what she wanted to say so he could do the best for her and the baby. It hurt that she still didn't trust him, when he basically told her everything. And he felt like he had no right to say that to her because of the situation, but it was simply how he felt and he couldn't avoid it.

It made his mind go crazy when he thought it, arguing with himself to stop being so selfish. And so he went silent and made up theories in his head as to why Clara was being so quiet and why she barely spoke to him on the phone when he was away. He told himself that she was having family time, even though he knew that was definitely not the case. But he refused to get angry over it, just so he didn't say something he regretted later.

"Happy New Years Eve." Clara finally replied quietly, watching John as he smiled at her. "I missed you." She added softly, making his features relax a bit. She hadn't even realised they were tense at all.

"I missed you more." John replied lowly, making Clara feel a punch to her heart. He may have not intended it, but there was definitely a hidden meaning behind his words. _We barely spoke. You didn't even contact me. Are you okay? Are we okay? Did you really miss me at all?_

Clara had missed him more than she could say in all honesty, but she wouldn't be able to get that out of her mouth. Not now. It was only Ten pm, and yet she felt like the night had dragged on forever so far.

They moved into the living room for a while, trying to look sociable with Dave's friends, but they could hear a few snide sniggers from his other workmen and John pulled Clara out of there before she heard them properly herself. Dave was drinking heavily, but he was only slightly tipsy. Yet it was enough for John to think they should just avoid him for a while and let him have his fun. Clara looked so shocked when she saw her Dad, he guessed Dave didn't drink often. In fact, he was fairly certain he'd never drunk in front of Clara before at all, aside from the occasional glass at a nice dinner.

The sight seemed to have stunned her into silence, but she moved silently around the house with him, eventually deciding that it would be best just to stay in her bedroom. And that was what Clara feared the most.

Being alone meant they would have to talk, and that meant the inevitable would come. And she suddenly felt too scared to say anything.

John sat down on the bed happily as Clara followed shortly behind, once they'd made their way to the bedroom. He smiled at her as she sat down beside him, watching her every move.

"The stars are beautiful tonight, don't you think?" John mused, looking out towards the nearby window. Clara turned her head to see what he was staring at and smiled.

"You're right. They are." She agreed, smiling as they twinkled in the darkness.

She then turned back to John, watching as his eyes diverted away from hers. He must have known she was going to say something he wouldn't like He must have known or he wouldn't have so desperately tried to avert the conversation and think of anything else that would change the topic.

"I've never seen them shine so bright. You have a great view from your window." He smiled again, standing off the bed to lean on the windowsill.

Clara stared at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He had seen the stars from her room many times before. And now she knew for certain that he was trying to avoid what she needed to say.

"John..." She started, standing up to walk beside him, but it seemed he didn't want to hear it.

"You're going to moan because I know you hate physics, but stars are the real reason why. They whole Universe is so beautiful. Have you ever thought about that?" He mumbled to himself, looking at the sky still.

Clara moved beside him, watching him as she saw him think. She opened her mouth to speak once more, but was once again cut off.

"Fourteen billion years ago, one explosion that happened just by chance created the entire Universe. The whole of creation was born. And there were so many million-billion reactions that went into simply having the rocks that form the core of our Earth come together. And from there it's taken Four and a half billion years for all those reactions to keep on going and evolving and changing. And we think of ancient history as two thousand years ago, but it's not because our planet is fairly new and yet it's lived for four _billion_ years. And all those things we take for granted in life, like school and buses are inventions that came from millions of chance reactions happening to form a human brain that can develop ideas like that. And it took thousand of years for that human brain to even start dreaming up inventions that, when you think about it, are extraordinary. But we all take these things for granted. The chances of the formation of stars we are looking at in the sky right now are so slim, they should be impossible. But they aren't. We can see these stars right now, and we're looking at them but tomorrow night they won't be the same. Because different stars will appear and shine, and we will lose what stars we currently see."

Clara stared at John in wonder, not even sure where he was going with this. She wasn't even sure he knew where he was going. "Jo..."

"And then there is the probability of everything else. Simply, the chances of me standing next to you on this very night talking about stars were a trillion to one at the dawn of time, and yet they happened. Because everything we do in life is a miracle in some way. Life as itself is a miracle if you think about it and we still find time to complain about things. And even though we've all been gifted with miracles our entire lives, there are still people out there who hurt and maim and kill. And then there are those who don't do awful things, but they still waste the miracle they've been given. So, in the end, everything we do in life means nothing. Because...because, if the chances of _everything _happening makes everything a miracle, nothing is unique or special anymore. And we mean nothing, don't we? What we do doesn't mean anything in the long run. We might as well not..."

"John!" Clara snapped suddenly, her hand resting on his arm. His eyes turned to the sudden touch, not as if it was unwelcome, but as if it would harm him in some way.

"Sorry." He mumbled. "I just like physics." They both knew it wasn't about that at all, but he'd used it whenever people had stared at him like he was a freak for pretty much his entire life. It didn't seem to change anything now either.

"John." Clara said, suddenly softer and more delicate. Like she had to somehow find a way to handle him with care or he would break. And she was sure he would.

"I don't want to hear it." John whispered honestly. "You're going to say something I won't like, and I just know right now that I don't want to hear it."

Clara looked at him, unable to explain how she felt. How could she do this to him? Not now.

But in the long run, he deserved more. He deserved better.

"I'm...I'm not keeping the baby." Clara admitted quietly. She looked down to her feet, not wanting to see his reaction.

John looked up, as if he'd been expecting it. And in all honesty, he had. "I...I know, it's fine. Your decisions are always fine with..."

"And I'm ending this." She added quietly, distress in her eyes and voice.

John stopped his thought, furrowing his brow in confusion. "This?"

Clara pointed to the small space in-between her and John. "_This. Us."_

John looked at her once more, confusion written all over his features until realisation settled in and it dawned on him.

"Let me just get this into my head, you're ending this...relationship?" John said relatively calmly. He was shocked he'd even got the words out. He wanted to scream out his true feelings. _What? Why? Do you not love me? Did you lie to me to make me feel better? Why now? Why here?_

Clara nodded slowly, not able to look up at him. "I have to." She said softly.

"_Have _to?" John asked, still confused. The volume of his voice only raised slightly in his effort to make sure the words got out.

"For both of us. Before it's too late. We're both too attached, and...and you know just as well as I do that the chances we will stay together are..." She couldn't finished her sentence, finally looking up at John to see the hurt in his eyes. He look betrayed. He looked like he'd truly lost some spark in his eye from before. She'd never seen him so distraught before. Not ever.

"John?" She asked quietly, his silence scaring her.

"So you're just _deciding_?" He asked slowly, not wanting to sound angry, but unsure of how else he should feel without crying in front of her.

"John you don't understand, you don't deserve _this_." She signalled toward her belly and herself, watching as he just seemed more hurt by each word. "You don't deserve to have your life ruined by me."

He took a deep breath. "But you wouldn't ruin my life. We could have the baby together, it wouldn't be that..."

"Together or not John, I'm giving up the baby. There will be a family out there who will love him and adore him, give him everything he wants and needs. They will cherish him and make him a great person." She took a long pause, blinking away the stinging tears in her eyes. "And even if you and me get firsts in University and become rich, there will be the essential years of his life where we just won't be good enough. We can't give him what he needs. Not yet anyway. And I want him to have everything."

"You don't want him...You don't love him?" John asked cautiously, watching as her head hopped up in shock.

"I love him John." Clara corrected, watching him in her state of confusion. "I love him like I love you, and I want him to have a better life. I want him to have better than me, don't you see that? I want _you_ to have a better life than _this_."

John took a step towards her, grabbing her hands in his as he allowed a tear to roll down his cheek. "And what if I don't want that?" He asked, his voice raising in volume. "What if I want you over what you think would be a 'better life'?"

Clara shook her head. "Right now, you're too wrapped up in everything to look at the whole picture. You will be _so amazing._ And you don't need me to take that away from you John."

"No, no it's not about that at all." John mumbled, finding his voice as his mind got angry. And angry was the last thing he wanted to be, but for some reason his body wasn't following his rational thoughts today. "It's about _you _not wanting to deal with us. You don't want to watch any of us do anything for you, because it makes you feel bad. _You're _scared that we will go away, just like your Mum did, and leave you alone. So you're chucking us out before we can even get close like that! And that is _selfish_ Clara. That's bloody selfish."

Clara looked up at him, tears dry and anger filling her veins too. It annoyed her how he thought that. It annoyed her that he couldn't see that she was generally doing it for him. "NO. No, John, I'm actually doing this for you, but you're too fucking stupid to see that! You think everything in my life relates back to something else, when sometimes it's just about what's in front of you!"

"I can see what's in front of me, and what I see is someone who has thrown away the people who love her because she is stupid." John spat back, his anger mounting out of his hurt and distress.

"I'm not stupid." Clara retorted, her actual argument objective becoming blurrier and blurrier in her mind. She barely even noticed they were moving off topic. "You're the one who is stupid for constantly trying to make things better, when it won't be that way!"

"It's not my fault we're in this situation!" John shouted back, knowing that he didn't mean those words the moment they fell out of his mouth. There was no way he would ever truly mean that.

"And _I'm _the one who just forgot to use protection? Jeez, didn't realise I was the one with a dick." Clara snapped, her jaw clenching as her throat thickened once more. Because what he'd said had stung more than she'd thought it would and it was fuelling her on now.

"But you are so insistent when it gets you attention, aren't you? Everything in your life is about attention Clara! I wouldn't be shocked if this was your cry to help to your Daddy because he was ignoring you after your Mum died. Even your stupid act with those so-called friends of yours is for attention. You pretend you're better than them, when you're not!"

Maybe if John had heard himself say that less than an hour before, he would have screamed at himself to stop. But he was too mad and hurt and upset for that.

"Oh, and you're all perfect? Swatting in the back of a classroom just to be on top? You pretend you don't hear what people say behind your back, but you really do. And you hate yourself for it! You hate the life you lead at school, and you hate everyone around you. Then you make a pass on _me _when I'm feeling shit because my Mum had died. Such a gentleman."

"That's not how I remember it at all." John snapped back. "You're the one who came onto me, and you're the one who wanted to be with _me._ You knew I fucking adored you and you used it."

Clara scoffed, moving away from him as she tried to somehow calm down. "Well maybe you should have been more sensible and never loved me." She spat, trying to make him leave so he could sort out her thoughts. What was going on?

"I wish I hadn't." John mumbled hurtfully, knowing a moment later that there was no way she hadn't heard it.

"Yeah, well me too." She said back, not even turning to appreciate him when he left the room. She waited for the door to slam before she collapsed onto her bed, unsure of anything. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

* * *

John ran down the stairs, keeping his anger in for a few moments as he tried to get out of there. Dinah saw him almost instantly and ran over to her son. She could see he looked distressed, but she couldn't see Clara anywhere.

"You okay?" Dinah asked quickly, shocked as John grabbed her hand and suddenly dragged her to the door.

"We're going. Now." John snapped, making Dinah's eyes widen in shock. Something had definitely happened because she'd never seen him so angry before.

"At least let me say goodbye to..." She started, looking back.

"No. Now." John said seriously, turning to face Dinah with some sort of plea for help. The moment she saw the look on his face, she knew that they had to get out of there. She didn't try to push him further than that on the drive home, but she knew that it was bad because he looked like he could punch a wall down. And she wouldn't be shocked if he did.

John slammed his door shut and locked it before Dinah could so much as get up the stairs. He knew she would respect his request for silence from that action even so, and he slid his body down against the wood, curling up into a ball.

He let one tear fall as his mind raced over what was said. And once one had dropped, the others came in a tsunami, knocking down all the walls he'd built to avoid them and shattering him to the ground as he collapsed into a heap of waste.

The fireworks were booming outside and people were cheering for a Happy New Year, but John and Clara were both crying. If the new year was meant to bring happiness, they would have told you it was a joke, but all it was bringing for them was more pain and shit that they couldn't get out of. Happy New Year indeed.

* * *

School started again on the fifth, and that was the first time John and Clara had so much as exchanged a message since new years eve.

And even then, their contact with each other was awful. Clara turned up to Chemistry first thing and discovered that John wasn't there. She looked around for him, despite the fact she was dreading seeing him, and felt a little relieved he wasn't. It would save a lot of awkwardness.

He eventually walked in half an hour late, much to the dismay and confusion of Mr Simons, who chose not to ask questions. Clara and John usually sat in the far corner from the door at the back of the room, so it seemed reasonable to everyone else why he had sat in the first seat by the door, but Clara knew it was for a quick escape to avoid her. And she didn't really blame him.

It had taken her seconds to realise what a shitty mistake she had made. She had felt it was the right thing to do in her mind, but the way the argument had ended up on the other hand was a new thing entirely. She should have just taken what he said and let him apologise later. But she didn't, and now they were avoiding each other like the plague.

Sir came over to Clara five minutes later once he'd set a task to do, checking she was okay. Clara simply nodded, looking up at him as if she was fine, even though they all knew she wasn't.

Clara heard the whispers of the others in the class as John stormed out of the room first, disappearing into the crowds of year eights for break. She didn't even attempt to follow him, instead walking away.

She found she had nowhere to go without John. She hadn't yet seen Nina and Kelsey, but she knew that they would only have horrible things to say. She felt like she couldn't exactly stay in the classroom all day, and she refused to go to the sixth form lounge out of knowledge John would be there.

Even though it wasn't that obvious, people were still talking about "The pregnant girl" directly in front of her. She'd never really known what it was like to be a nobody before now, but she suddenly got the clue that it felt like crap.

Despite knowing they would be shits, Clara walked over to Nina and Kelsey when she saw them. Anything was better than being alone. She stood beside them for a moment once she reached them and coughed lightly.

They turned to face her at the same time, their faces lighting up in surprise. Nina looked around dramatically, raising her eyebrows, "Where's lover boy?" She teased.

"Piss off." Clara grumbled, glad when they opened a space up for her to join the circle.

"Ooh, not good then?" Kelsey asked, shaking her head as Clara did too. "Well, it's not like he's the father of your baby or anything..."

Clara looked up at them and rolled her eyes. "Okay, I get it. You're still pissed, what's the problem?"

Nina rolled her eyes too, looking at Clara as if it was obvious. "Because it's weird. You're pregnant with the baby of a freak and everyone stares. Clara, honey, you could have had anyone you wanted. And you chose some...well, retard?"

"He's not a retard." Clara said quietly. "Or he is, I don't know."

The two girls both looked at each other excitedly. "Tell all." Nina giggled, extremely happy at the thought of some gossip to do with the pregnant girl.

"Not worth it." Clara said tiredly. "Really boring shit." She watched as Nina moved away slightly, shrugging her shoulders.

"Ah, fair enough then." Nina mumbled, obviously annoyed that they weren't being told. Clara watched as the group of boys they hung around with entered the corridor. The boys saw Nina smiling at them and walked straight over.

"Oh, Clara?" Nina asked, sounding far too sweet to be polite. "Could you just hide for a minute while I talk to Jay? You make us look a bit weird." Nina pointed down to Clara's stomach and she took a deep breath, trying her hardest to ignore it.

She stood back, not paying too much attention as Nina flirted with the group of six guys. She kept to the shadows, hoping they wouldn't care.

But of course, one did. "Hey, pregnant girl!" He shouted, laughing with his friends.

"I have a name." Clara spat back, rolling her eyes at him. She'd hung around with him before and he'd hit on her shamelessly. She couldn't even remember his name.

"Yeah, but that's your new nickname." He laughed, his friends moving around towards Clara, laughing too.

"Ignore her." Kelsey giggled, "She's hormonal." Everyone laughed at that, making Clara feel uncomfortable.

"Hey, pregnant, come here a second." Another boy laughed. Clara tutted, rolling her eyes as she began to walk away not interested in what they had to say.

That was when she felt a hand gripping her arm, turning her around quickly. The guys crowded around her in a circle, cutting off her exits. She'd never felt so intimated before, and it made her feel vulnerable. She wanted to scream, but felt it would be a little drastic. Besides, they were in an empty corridor where no teachers really went. Only the cooking rooms were down there.

"Where you going, to see your boyfriend?" They all started teasing, prodding Clara on the arm.

"Fuck off." She sighed, trying to make a whole between them to get out, but they pushed her back in with some force making her stumble back in shock.

"Hey, pregnant, how would you like a drink?" One of the boys shouted. Clara could see Nina and Kelsey trying to peek in to see what was going on, but she doubted they would help her.

She saw the boys pull a bottle of Smirnoff out of their bag. She was shocked they'd even brought it with them and expected not to get caught.

"Please, just go away." Clara begged, confused as to what the hell they were trying to do. Were they fucking mental?

"Come on, just one drink!" A boy shouted, and they all laughed again, thinking it was hilarious. Because wouldn't it be so funny if they made the pregnant girl down a bottle of vodka.

"No." Clara shouted, trying to push her way out again. This time, her arms were grabbed by two boys, one of whom held her head back by her hair. Her throat was straining and she could see them opening the bottle to pour down her throat, laughing all the while. they thought it was some big fat joke.

She screamed at them to stop, trying to get away as they poured so drink on her face, making her spit at them. They tried once more but she backed away, making it hit the ground.

"Stop it!" She screamed out again as they pour it once more, leaving her no choice but to drink it or nor breathe. It made her want to cry from anger. She was in school and no-one was coming.

She didn't hear the sound of a teacher calling them, but the next thing she knew was she was being pulled to the side and someone was rubbing her face with a shirt so she didn't look like they'd thrown water at her.

If it had to be any teacher that would have come, she couldn't have prayed less for Mr Simons. He took one look at the crowd, scattered around innocently which immediately told him they'd been up to something.

And he knew that Clara had been screaming with the sound of laughter around. He was grateful he'd been passing by.

"Can someone tell me what was going on please?" He asked slowly, looking at Clara who was staring at the ground brokenly.

"We were just having a laugh Sir." He would have guessed it would be anyone that spoke but the person that did. But as true as day, Clara was staring him straight in the eye as she said it.

He could smell the foul stench on alcohol in the air, and it hit him in a wave as he approached the gang. Even more so as he went near Clara, much to his confusion.

"You sure about that?" He asked cautiously, watching as she didn't blink an eye.

"Yeah, me and these guys were just joking around." She smiled at him as if she was happy, but there was clearly something up.

"Then why were you screaming?" He said seriously, eyeing the boys who looked shocked at Clara more than anything.

"Oh, they were making me laugh too much. It made my stomach hurt a bit." She said quickly, smiling at the guys who all seemed to laugh too guiltily.

"Clara, can I speak to you aside for a moment..." He began, trying to edge Clara away from the group.

"Why?" Clara asked, sounding confused. This was most unlike her in every way he knew.

"Please." He said as more of a command than a request. She groaned as she moved around the corner with him, clearly not out of earshot but enough for them to talk properly.

Clara looked at him, waiting for some sort of reason he'd pulled her aside. She shrugged her shoulders as he stared at her, clearly concerned.

"So, you gonna tell me truth?" Sir asked, looking down at her with the same trust he always had.

"I did." Clara replied, looking him in the eye. He had to give it to her, she was good at lying when she wanted to.

He raised his eyebrows at her, knowing he didn't believe her.

"Jesus, Sir, why do you always assume something's wrong with me? Why can't you just leave me alone?" Clara shouted at him, walking away from him and the group immediately after.

"Clara?" Sir called after her, more than confused about his encounter. He wanted to go after her, but he felt like he had to confiscate the alcohol one of the boys clearly had first. In some ways, he wasn't even sure he wanted to know what had happened.

Getting out of the school was an easy feat for Clara. She simply waited until the bell went for the lessons before walking up to the wall that surrounded the school and hopping over it.

It was actually a shortcut home for Clara, but she wasn't going home. She couldn't. It was too much for her. She didn't want to do it anymore.

* * *

John wasn't paying too much attention as he sat in his Physics class. He'd been in an awful mood all day. Amy had managed to get it out of him that he was no longer with Clara, but that was all anyone else knew. He simply felt like crap and wanted the day over and done with.

So when his name was called out by the head-teacher at the door, he was more than a little surprised to say the least.

"John?" The head asked once again, now having the boy's attention.

"Yeah?" John replied, not quite sure what this would be about

"Could you get your stuff and come with us please?" The head asked, making everyone in the room turn to him. Why the hell was he needed by the head?

He quickly grabbed his things and walked out into the corridor, coming face to face with Mr Simons at the same time. It took him less than a second to know it would be to do with Clara.

"John, have you seen Clara since this morning break?" Mr Simons asked slowly, his face praying for some answer.

"No, last time I saw her was leaving your lesson." He replied honestly. Well, that last part was a lie, but it would do for now.

The look on the two men's faces made John start to be a bit concerned. "Why?" He asked slowly, watching as the men tried to turn away to talk, but John was right next to them.

"And you definitely called the home?" The head asked Mr Simons, who nodded slowly.

"Her Gran was there and nothing. It's been nearly three hours now." He replied cautiously. "We even called John's home, but she isn't there."

John watched as they spoke about him in third person, making him annoyed. "Excuse me, what's going on?" He asked, annoyed at being left out of the actual conversation.

Mr Simons turned to John, debating whether or not to tell him. "John..." He began, unsure how to word it. "It seems Clara went missing at morning break. There was some sort of incident that she refused to tell me about, but it wasn't good."

"Break?" John asked, shocked. "But it's after lunch now. And you've only just realised?"

The Head looked down to the floor. "She had a free in period three, so when she didn't turn up for period four it was unclear how long she had been gone for."

John looked at the two in disbelief, confused at to why they needed him. And that was then they realised that they had been hoping he knew where she was. He forgot that no-one knew they weren't even talking.

"Could you call her for us?" Mr Simons asked, looking at John hopefully. "She didn't answer her Dad, but she might to you if you're worried?"

John looked at the two of them and shook his head. "For all I know she's deleted my number by now and blocked it. There's no way in hell she is answering to me." He mumbled.

If the two adults hadn't been concerned before, they definitely were now. The unspoken "oh" was enough to make anyone worried.

* * *

John ran into the Oswald household. He didn't even open his mouth before he heard the fateful "She's not here." from Dave, shattering his hopes that maybe she was back already. He was praying that would be the case.

It was already seven pm. It had been dark since three because of the damn winter, and it was minus-three outside. And yet Clara was still not home. The snow had been settled on the ground for two straight days now and it was meant to snow again tonight.

They had been looking since the lunchtime, trying to see where she could have possibly gone. It was worrying to say the least, but they were concerned. By now the police had already got involved. A pregnant girl who disappeared seemed to be a priority and they were crowding around the house.

John walked slowly in to the rest of the living room, leaning against the wall from the lack of places to sit that were occupied by policemen.

"Tell us again what you saw." One man asked Mr Simons, who John hadn't even realised was there. They had all been out looking for hours now, trying to find any trace of Clara. Dave looked worried out of his skull and Gran was about to be sick. So was John. She still hadn't come back, and her phone wasn't even receiving anymore, as if she'd taken out the battery.

"I heard her scream at someone to stop something. By the time I saw the group, Clara was looking away and the boys were huddled around with two other girls. The place smelled strongly of alcohol, as if it had been dropped on the carpet. I asked her if she was okay, but she denied anything happening. I looked for the bottle after she'd walked away, but it seemed the boy with it must have scattered." Mr Simons said slowly. He looked so torn, and it was clear to everyone around that people were worried sick.

Everyone in the Oswald and Smith family knew something was up with the two, but no-one questioned John being there. He looked terrified even so.

"She wasn't anywhere nearby." John mumbled, making everyone turn to him. "It's freezing outside though, and..." He couldn't even finish his sentence.

Dave looked up at him, his eyes red around the edges which showed he had been crying. John had never seen him look so scared before, and it worried him.

"I'm sorry Sir, but we have to tell you..." An officer said to Dave hesitantly, "After thirty-two hours it will be counted as a runaway case and discarded. She is in the high risk category, so we will continue to look, but if she doesn't come back before the night is over then there is a high chance she could..."

No-one was even going to ask what the end of that sentence would be and no-one wanted to know.

"I'll go back out and look." John quickly volunteered, looking around as he began to leave the house. He'd already been searching for a long time and he felt so useless.

"No, John you shouldn't..." Dave protested, looking to John in a plea. Despite everything, no-one could have questioned just how fearful Dave was right then. He looked like he'd already lost all hope.

"There's no point staying here." John replied sorrowfully. "I have to try." He took one last glance at the silent room, unsure of what he was waiting for.

"I'm looking too." Mr Simons declared softly, standing up, his coat in his hand as he put it on quickly. "Better than just one, eh?"

John looked to him and nodded, waiting for him to get to the door before they walked out of the house together.

They stood at the edge of the driveway, looking out into the cold darkness. It really was absolutely freezing. "We looked everywhere nearby. The park, school, streets, fields. If you find anywhere soon, give us a ring." John said to Sir, nodding with him as they went in the opposite directions, running.

John had a flashlight, but it wasn't much use. It did little more than the streetlights did and there was still no sign of Clara.

He could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket and he felt the slight glimmer of hope it would be Clara. But when he saw the caller ID was Amy it didn't sadden him so much as make him worry even more.

"Amy?" He asked as he picked up, hearing her heavy breath on the other end of the line. She sounded really cold. Her and Rory had heard Clara was missing and had started searching with John at around four. They promised to ring if they found anything, but so far there was no luck.

"John, there's no sight of her. We've looked _everywhere. _Best bet is she got a bus into town." Amy mumbled, not wanting to be the breaker of the bad news. "She'll probably turn up tomorrow or..."

She trailed off, knowing that John was cursing himself internally in that moment. "Yeah, well...thanks Amy. I'm sorry about this." John mumbled, not quite sure what to say.

"We've not stopped looking John." Amy replied, trying to make sure he didn't lose hope. This day had not been good for him from what she could tell. "We'll keep on as long as we can."

John looked to the pavement and shook his head. "Don't tire yourselves out, it's getting really late."

Amy shook her head, trying to tell him how much they meant that. "John, we mean it. We won't stop looking until we find her. She's family, and I would ever give up if it were you or Rory, so I won't Clara."

To hear those words come from Amy especially meant a lot. She often expressed how much she hated the idea of John and Clara being together, but something must have clicked inside her.

It had been one scary sight when she had heard John had gone home from school because Clara was missing. She immediately grabbed Rory and ran over to Clara's house, hoping John would be there. There was a bigger crowd than she had expected, including her Head teacher and Mr Simons, who had stayed a lot longer. They were debating to call the police at that point, worried about what would happen once it got dark.

Amy had never even met Clara's family before, but from one look at them she could tell they were heartbroken. Especially Dave. He just looked like he was somehow at fault for all of it. He kept mumbling under his breath about how he should have been kinder to her, and loved her more. It wasn't something anyone wanted to see, and she'd never felt so horrible for being so bad to Clara for all those years.

She was mad at Clara for running away though. Everyone was distraught, especially John, and it was making people so scared. Everyone was blaming themselves and trying their hardest to find her as they worried if she would be safe.

Amy had even heard John mumbling his breath about how the baby had to be safe. She'd never realised just how much it truly meant to him.

"Amy?" John mumbled, bringing her out of her silence. "Please, help me bring her back." He choked, not quite sure what else there was left to do but keep searching. He had to tell her that had never meant what he said. He meant none of it, not a single word. Even if she had meant it herself, he needed her to know that. Hearing that Clara had been hurt in school by some twats was enough to set his veins on fire and he wanted to rip the throats out of every idiot who dared to lay a hand on her.

Amy took a long pause, nodding to herself before she found the words to reply. "We'll bring her home. I promise."

With that she ended the call, rubbing her palms together to gain some heat. As she did so, she saw a small snowflake fall in front of her in the lamplight, hitting the already iced pavement. There was no doubt this would settle.

There weren't many places left for anyone to search. The police were now debating helicopters, according the update John had texted Amy, and they were talking about searching rivers.

Amy walked along the road towards the playground she knew so well, hoping to find a place to sit. She hadn't seen anyone for two straight hours now. Not since nine-o-clock when she had ran back to the Oswald house in the hope there had been something new. She had been missing thirteen whole hours and everyone was beginning to lose hope. they were past that dreaded twelve hour mark already and people were going crazy.

The snow was dancing around, making everyone go home inside of go numb in the cold. The seesaw moved up and down, squeaking in the light wind as it's seats were covered in a soft white blanket.

The ground was slippery beneath her feet as she dreaded slowly towards the play park in the dark. She hated that this area of the park wasn't lit my any lights. It was gloomy and scary in the blackness of the cold winter's night.

Just as Amy began to slowly walked forward, she saw a black figure move on the swings. At first she thought she must have been imagining it, but then the swing moved once more and she could see, whilst straining her eyes, that there was a figure on the swing.

She took a few hurried steps forward, hoping it would be who she was looking for, praying at any costs that it was.

"Clara?" She mumbled under her breath, her lips cold from the lack of movement prior.

Her legs broke into a slow run, wary of the ice beneath so she wouldn't slip. "Clara?" Amy suddenly shouted, reaching the gate to the small playground and moving towards the swings.

The figure looked up quickly, trying to figure out who it could possibly have been. "Clara?" They called again, and they stood up, moving off the swing to walk away smoothly.

But their judgement in their timing was off and before another step could be taken, Amy had her hand on their arm and was swinging them around to face her.

Even in the darkness, Clara's height was a dead giveaway to who it was.

"What do you want?" Clara asked brokenly, her voice breaking mid-sentence from the clear lack of using it.

"Are you insane?" Amy shouted at her, the cold suddenly feeling much worse than it had before. "Everyone thinks you are lying in some river dead or something. Where have you been?"

Clara shrugged, stepping away from Amy slightly. "Around."

"Around, huh?" Amy asked angrily, furious that she had been so nearby. "We looked in this place earlier, so you can't have been here long." She raised her eyebrows at Clara, who was looking ion the opposite direction. "So?" She demanded, getting impatient.

"I've been wondering!" Clara shouted back, annoyed at the pestering. "What's it to you anyway?"

Amy scoffed, letting go of Clara's arm to move around her. "What's it to me? Nothing, apart from the fact your entire family are having panic attacks and John is just about ready to jump off a cliff if he doesn't find you soon. Ever think of that?"

Clara turned away, walking back towards the gate of the park. "Why is John worrying? I don't see how staying out late affects him in any..."

"Staying out late?" Amy shouted back, simply annoyed now by the fact Clara wasn't seeing anything of it. "Clara, the police are looking for you!"

That made her turn around to look at Amy, suddenly shocked by it all. "The police?" She mumbled quietly, moving towards the swing to sit down on it. Amy did the same on the one next to her, turning to face her as she did so.

"It's freezing out here. People think you'll probably be freezing half to death." Amy mumbled back, looking at the girl who just seemed to look lost. Her eyes were gradually adjusting to the dark light, making her more able to see Clara properly.

Clara fiddled with her fingers as she looked at her feet. Amy stared at her for a while, finally knowing what John meant about the loud thinking no-one understood. She really had a way of doing it at the wrong moments.

"So, why did you run away?" Amy asked slowly, a bit surprised when Clara suddenly turned to face her.

"I didn't run away." Clara said back, sounding tired and weak. "I just wanted to think." She murmured, looking back to her feet once more. The swings swung lightly in the wind, the gentle movement quite soothing.

"Then why are you sat out here in the snow?" Amy asked back lightly, waiting for an answer.

"I was just...lost." Clara replied slowly, not really how her brain was working. "I needed to get away from it all."

"Yeah, so skive school but don't stay out until eleven in the cold. Would you even have come home?" Amy asked quickly, her hand moving to place over Clara's on her lap.

Clara shook her head. "I don't know." She replied slowly. Amy waited for something else, but it seemed it would be a silence. She was as far from close as she could get to the girl, and she thought it should have felt wrong comforting her, yet it didn't. But her anger was still present, annoyed at her actions.

"I was going to call, but my phone died. And...I just didn't want to face getting told off by my Dad for skiving." Clara mumbled, shrugging her shoulders. "He wants me to be so perfect when I'm clearly not."

Amy listened carefully, absorbing every word. "So why did you leave?"

Clara finally turned to look to Amy. "Honestly?" Amy nodded, urging her on. "I just wanted it all to be over. I kept on thinking up scenarios that would end it, as stupid as that is. And staying out in the cold was...Every time I thought about going home, I thought about staying longer in the cold. I always preferred the idea of the cold. And maybe it would..."

She wasn't bringing herself to say what she needed to, but Amy was starting to catch on to what she meant. She still didn't know what John and Clara had argued about, but she could bet it would have something to do with this.

"Would what?" Amy asked, feeling a bit too intrusive, but knowing it was needed.

"Just...make it stop." Clara replied. "I didn't want the baby to die or...or maybe I did, I don't know. I just wanted it to be gone. As if it was never there. And _him. _I wanted him gone, but not in _that_ way. I just wished that it would magically get better.

"But..." Amy began, not needing to say the rest of the sentence. _But everything is just the same. _

"Do you realise how many people are looking for you Clara?" Amy asked softly, finally looking the girl in the eye. "Do you know how many people are crying because you haven't come home yet. And my phone is now dead too, so I can't even tell them." Amy mumbled, not quite sure how to express it. "Clara, your Dad has been crying for hours, even your teachers are looking for you. They all want you home safe."

Clara allowed a teardrop to run down her cheek from her frustration, which actually was a nice feeling as it warmed her up a bit. She really was freezing cold. "Why? I'm just a burden on them all."

Amy looked at her as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Because they love you Clara. Because they can't stand the thought of losing you."

"They don't love me. Not my Dad and especially not John. And I don't want them to, I don't want them to feel obligated to care. It's easier if people are just honest." Clara mumbled.

Amy looked around, throwing her hands up in the air as she stood up, a snowflake dropping onto her nose as she swatted it away. "Now you're just being selfish." Amy groaned, annoyed at Clara's emotions already. She could try to be kind or she could be blunt, either way she just wanted to get Clara home safe. "All these people are worried sick and you're telling them they shouldn't be? You don't choose the people you love. Surely you know that more than anything."

Clara looked up at Amy and shrugged once more in slight anger, but not directed towards anyone in particular. "Why not? Life would be so much easier then. You would be able to stop people loving you when they deserve someone so much better. And it wouldn't hurt as much to let go."

Amy watched Clara carefully as she tried to think of something to say. But Clara simply chose to explain herself this time, not leaving any illusions. "If John would just stop loving me, then he would be everything he can be. And if my Dad stopped pretending he cared then I would be able to leave him without an issue. And if I could somehow..._not_... love the baby, then it won't be so fucking painful to give him up. Every time I think about it, it feels so bad. And then at the same time I feel like i don't even want him to arrive at all. So, does that mean I love him, or do I just want rid, or..."

"Look Clara," Amy began, reaching out her hand for her to hold. "Things are bad for you right now." She felt like an idiot saying that, but she'd never been the best at advice. "But sitting here in the snow won't make it better. Now, this is cheesy and I saw it on Facebook, but problems aren't like snowflakes. You can't just wait for the sun to come out and they'll magically disappear, they don't work that way. So don't wait for the sun and hope it will make everything better. Start shovelling the damn snow out of the way and do it for yourself."

There was a long silence as Clara sat for a moment. And then, almost without warning, Clara grabbed Amy's hand, pulling herself up to wrap her arms around the significantly taller girl.

Amy was shocked at first, not quite sure how to respond, but she eventually wrapped her arms back around the girl.

"You know, I used to hate you. And right now, I still do." Amy said to Clara quietly, hearing the small laugh as she did so.

"I know. John hated that you hated me. Although, it's not like I ever gave you reason to like me." Clara replied, pulling back to actually look at Amy properly.

They looked at each other for a moment as Clara shrugged once more. It seemed she liked to do that when things got awkward. "Could we...I mean, not like I'm asking in a way you would in primary school, but could we..._try _to be friends. For John? And...and for friendship I guess?"

Amy smiled, eventually allowing it to grow bigger despite her protesting numb lips. "Yeah, yeah I can work with that." She laughed, finally happy to see Clara laughing too. "Although, we better be getting back really soon. I don't want them to keep worrying."

Clara nodded, her face fallen suddenly. She dreaded the thought of just turning up and trying to say sorry, but the damage was already done and it was better to do it now than later.

They quietly began their walk back through the dim streets, treading carefully so as to avoid slipping on some ice and falling face down. Amy was particularly worried about Clara falling, even though she didn't feel like she should be. It was a natural reaction after all.

"So..." Amy began, not quite sure what to say. "What made you run in the first place? From school I mean. I heard your teacher saying something but..."

Clara shook her head and sighed. "Just some twats being...twats. They...they were pouring vodka down my throat as a laugh. They must have thought me being pregnant would make it funnier. People who used to respect me were laughing at me and treating me like shit, and I just wanted to run."

Amy turned to Clara quickly, making her skid slightly as they came to a halt. "They made you drink alcohol? I mean, is that alright for the baby? Are you sure you don't need a check up or something..."

"Amy, Amy!" Clara snapped, stopping the girls' worried ramblings. "I barely swallowed any, so I'm sure it's fine. It's...It was more about the torment that the drink in all honesty. I just...I hated being laughed at like that and everyone hating me. I have so little friends, I was _willing _to be treated like that, just for some company."

"Now you know how us nerds feel, huh?" Amy laughed, trying to get some spirit back into Clara as they started walking again.

"Yeah, yeah in a way I guess. Shows how fake some people really are." She mumbled as they moved into the middle of the road where there was little ice. It certainly helped them to walk faster.

"I used to think you were a fake. I went on and on about how you'd use people for what you want and the like. I even told John you were using him when you first got together."

Clara smiled slightly from the irony. "With good reason. I was a bitch." She mumbled, looking away.

"No." Amy suddenly said loudly as she looked towards Clara. "No, you never were. The girl you pretended to be was, but that wasn't _you._ That isn't the _you _that everyone loves."

Clara turned to Amy once more, not caring how random it was, and gave her another hug. Amy smiled slightly, returning it gently.

"I'm blaming this on hormones by the way." Clara said into Amy's ear, making them both laugh really loud. God, they both found it good to laugh. It made them feel warmer inside.

"Fuck, you're freezing." Amy exclaimed as Clara's finger touched her wrist, which had been covered by her glove and coat. "We should get you home soon. You're gonna have a cold."

"Oh, no worries, I'm a warm blooded animal." Clara tried to laugh, but the contrast in body heat had definitely made her feel colder. She was really wanting to just get home now.

As they walked up into the end of Clara's street, they saw a slight figure in the middle of the road staring at them. The figure was tall and gangly and they both knew that it was John. The moment he saw them he was running towards them, faster than he ever had before.

"Amy?" He cried out, identifying her from further away.

Amy nodded, giving him a thumbs up as Clara tried to look away, embarrassed by her actions. As he approached nearer, she could see the red rims to his eyes from where he had clearly been crying or worrying in some way. He looked tired out of his brains, but somehow still happy to see her.

"John?" Clara whispered quietly, trying to think how she could possibly say sorry for everything she said and everything that followed and then running away and being a shit and just being downright awful to him at the same time.

But it seemed she didn't need to, because his arms were around her in seconds, holding her to him as close as he could, stroking her hair as he confirmed to himself that he wasn't hallucinating from the cold.

"Oh thank God, thank Jesus or whatever the fuck you want. Just thank something that you're okay." He mumbled, so relieved it actually knocked the wind out of him.

"She won't be okay for much longer if you don't get her inside." Amy grumbled, glad she froze her arse off all night for something. John, keeping one arm around Clara, pulled Amy into a small hug, kissing her forehead.

"Thank you so much Amy." He murmured, feeling like gratitude was really not enough for it.

"You know, I'm not like a dog that went missing. I am actually here." Clara murmured, knowing straight off it had caught John's ear and his attention was back on her.

He opened his mouth to speak to her, to try and say how relieved he was but she was having none of it.

"John, just shut up for second, yeah?" Clara said quickly, feeling unnecessarily rude, but trying to get her head straight. "I'm sorry." She blurted, unsure if that would ever be enough. "You know I didn't mean that stuff, I just want you to _live _and you kept going on about how you'd never leave me and I knew you wouldn't and it hurt that you were doing that and I was selfish and so I said those awful things I should never have said and then I made you sick and worried and was a bitch to everyone, and if there's anyway in hell you can ever forgive me I won't understand how but I'm pretty much begging and I feel like shit anyway, so you can say what you want to me and I'll take it because I deserve it and..."

She was cut off by a small kiss to her lips, John's tired hands gently cradling her face.

"Forget it." He mumbled. "Forget that, forget _this_,let's...let's just forget all of this and we can just start afresh as if it never happened, yeah?" He whispered, watching as she frowned, confused by his words but more than willing to accept them.

"But I need to apologise John. You always forgive me, every time, and I don't deserve it. And...please...please, just say that you forgive me and that you hate me in this moment or whatever because..."

"But I don't hate you..."

"Just fucking say it John." Clara let out, watching as his lips turned upwards slightly at the edge. "Just say it, for me?"

He laughed to himself lightly before taking a small step back and nodding slowly. "Right now I hate you for running away and making everyone shit scared and I do forgive you, but I hate you _and_ I love you all at the same time. How's that?"

Clara nodded slowly, knowing it would be the best she would get. "Next time, you don't forgive me, okay?"

John nodded slowly. "And next time, don't run away?"

Clara nodded again, mirroring her words she said to him on Christmas Eve. "I won't."

* * *

They walked into the house slowly, knowing that everyone was on edge from the moment the door was heard opening.

John walked into the living room first, soon followed by Clara and then Amy. People took a sharp breath as everyone wasn't quite sure what they were meant to do.

"Hi." Clara said softly, looking down to the floor. they really hadn't been lying when they said the house was crowded. There were policemen everywhere. She was shocked they'd even bothered.

"Clara." Dave said briskly, standing up out of his chair. He looked flaming and she could barely meet his eye, or anyone's for that matter. He walked towards her slowly, making her know he would be furious. She was willing to take it all though. He truly looked like hell.

"Don't you _ever _do that to me again." He said slowly, his voice breaking from angry to sad and scared at the end. "Don't ever do that _ever again_, do you hear me young lady?" He tried his hardest to sound mad, but his voice ended in a choked cry.

Clara nodded quickly, looking up at him apologetically. "I'm sorry Dad." She whispered as his arms flung around her, pulling her into his chest as he stroked her hair gently, allowing a tear to fall. She felt it hit her cold hair, now dripping from the melting snowflakes.

"Oh God, I was so scared." He whispered to her and she could feel everyone's anger and relief in the entire room at that moment. There wasn't much she could really say, but she knew it would take a while.

She suddenly felt another pair of arms around her from behind, trying to cram into the tight doorway. She could tell from the style of the hug that it was her Gran, who was also taking relieved breaths.

"I'm sorry." She said again, this time it was intended for the whole room. "I didn't...If I'd have known you'd have all panicked so much I would have come home earlier. I just...I just wanted to think, you know? And I'm sorry for being so stupid about it..."

Clara took a sharp breath as her Dad held her tighter. "Dad?" She asked slowly, her air becoming restricted.

"Yeah?" He mumbled finally relieved that his worrying could be over.

"I can't breathe." She mumbled, his grip immediately loosening as he stood back so she could get herself in check.

There was a small silence as the police were about to speak, before Mr Simons suddenly chirped, "Are you okay? You were out in the cold for ages."

She hadn't even realised he was there and it made her shocked to say the least, but she was grateful in some ways. From that moment on, everyone was fussing about her health and where she was, the delicate approach in the room gone from before.

* * *

She was grounded. For the rest of her life, according to her Dad. She knew it was a bit silly in some ways, but she knew it would take a lot for him to forgive her.

Amy had left eventually, after many thanks from John, who had kept to the shadows. There was so much they had to say each other, but it seemed the police would need her for longer than expected.

He had stayed, in the hope they could talk. Even after two whole hours of people checking up on her and demanding she see a Doctor tomorrow to check for colds and to see the baby was okay, he kept to the shadows, being quiet in the hope he could say goodnight.

She was shocked he was still there in all honesty. She had thought he'd left from how quiet he had been, but he'd simply stayed in the kitchen with some tea and Gran as they talked. She didn't know what about, but she knew that everyone was tired, and slightly angry. the police were relieved, but annoyed too at the paperwork that would have to happen. And everyone involved in the search didn't hesitate to tell Clara how pissed off, yet happy they were. It seemed like everyone was having contrasting emotions.

"John?" Clara murmured, entering the kitchen as she saw him leaning against the counter. Her Gran had just left and she was finally able to have some alone time with him. It may have been two in the morning, but it was better than nothing.

"Hey." He smiled, opening up his arm. She walked over quickly, resting her head on his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him, fitting perfectly like she belonged there.

"Hey." She replied, holding him tight as she tried to communicate her apologies in one simply action.

They didn't need words for a while. He put down his tea to hold her properly, and they simply waited, John planting the occasional small kiss on Clara's head.

"I know that I said I wanted him, but..." Clara began, hearing John's sharp intake as she spoke. "But I want him to have better. And, just hear me out...I looked it up. We can request to meet the parents first, if they agree to it, and we can ask them to tell him he's adopted. And...when he's eighteen, we're allowed to make contact through social services. So...so, if we're still together then or even if we're just friends, it could be something we'll do together and we'll get to meet him then. It's not ideal, but I thought if...if we start now we can make a box? And put things and stuff we've made in it for him. So maybe one day his new parents can give it to him."

John nodded slowly. "That sounds really good Clara. It sounds...weirdly perfect. I really don't want to say that because it involves giving him up, but it sounds perfect for _him_." He admitted, Clara agreeing with him.

"But...we won't name him. We can't allow ourselves to get attached like that. So we'll call him baby for now, okay?" Clara said softly, knowing that if they dared give him any other pet-names then it would hurt too much to let go.

"Okay." John said softly, moving his hand to rest on her bump. "Okay." He repeated himself, kissing her forehead gently one last time.

He took her hands he lead her out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Dave was asleep on the sofa, but he had already assumed that John would stay the night. It seemed practical anyway.

"Clara?" John whispered, once they were inside her room with the door shut. "What I said about wishing I'd never loved you..."

"You were angry John, that's all." She stopped him, refusing to accept it.

"But..."

"No buts. I _know_. That's all that matters. I didn't forget, remember." She smiled softly at him as she stood on her tiptoes, grabbing his temples softly so she could pull his head down to kiss him on the forehead like he so often did to her. It made him laugh lightly, feeling young again, but the action was meaningful and comforting.

"We're a mess, aren't we?" Clara laughed, smiling at him as her hand went instinctively to rest under her bump.

"Yeah. But a pretty good one, if you don't mind me saying." John smiled back, pulling her in for a hug once more.

"Yeah." Clara agreed. "Pretty good." She took a small pause before whispering once more, "Pretty good."


End file.
